Don’t Scare the Newbies!

This week, kirizal and S get into all the gory details of blood play. From the visual appeal to the perceived - if not always actual - intensity, W/we chat about what it does for U/us and the unique sensations. W/we share some memorable scenes - including the first time W/we met and the first time W/we had sex, plus chat toys and techniques, the details of planning a scene, and the all important safety and risk tips. Plus - S finds out for sure that They're not a masochist in quite a spiky way, and kirizal finally discovers a kink they don't like.

Content Note: Strong, bloody violence throughout! Discussion includes needles, scalpels, spiky impact play, menstruation, and consensual non-consent play.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

BDSM model and author Ariel Anderssen (who is also kirizal's sister!) - joins U/us on the podcast this week. She shares her story of overcoming shame from a Jehovah's Witness upbringing and healing from abuse, discovering kink in the time before Fetlife, and stories from her long and impressive career. Plus - feminism and kink, kink community outside the munch and play event scene, and the impact of increasing censorship on the adult industry.

Content Note: Discussion of religious shame and the impact of child abuse

Ariel's new book, Dirty, is coming in early June. It's now fully funded, and you can find more information here: https://www.arielanderssenauthor.com/dirty

Follow Ariel on Substack: https://arielanderssen.substack.com/

Follow Ariel on X (NSFW Images): https://x.com/ArielAnderssen

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, S takes the lead with Their first time writing the episode outline (exciting!) as W/we tackle the topic of long distance relationships. While kirizal has never dated further than a couple of counties over, S spent three years in a relationship at a distance of 4000 miles. Covering the joy and creativity of long distance love, the challenges of supporting a partner when you can’t just pop over for a hug, how sex works when you rely on a phone line and a bluetooth connection, and navigating discipline and structure in power exchange when a submissive is unsupervised. And kirizal asks the hard hitting question - did S take dick pics?

Thanks to S’s ex partner for her behind the scenes perspective which was really valuable in shaping this episode!

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, Lydia - founder of luxury bondage brand Kilter - joins kirizal and S to put the Business Development, Sales, and Marketing into BDSM. W/we chat about the challenges of promoting adult businesses on social media, the realities of starting a BDSM brand, her dad’s enthusiasm for her business, and life as a kinky lesbian.

Find more of Lydia at:

https://bykilter.com/

https://www.subtlebond.com/

https://www.instagram.com/lydiacoulter_

https://www.tiktok.com/@lydiacoulter__

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

In this episode, Mx and kirizal dig into shame, objectification, worthlessness, and all the messy emotions of degradation and humiliation. How these kinks can enhance O/our play, why they turn U/us on, and a deep dive into trauma play, body shaming, verbal degradation and humiliation, and "the umbrella of gross kinks". Plus - kirizal's journey into emotional masochism, negotiation and aftercare skills, and Mx discovers that kirizal doesn't know how to burp.

Content Note: This episode covers some heavy topics and common 'icks' throughout, in detail. Misogynistic and fatphobic language, mentions of transphobia play, child abuse, and CNC. More detailed discussion of bodily fluids including spit, vomit, piss, and scat, as well as body image, dysmorphia, and weight loss.

For more education on emotional sadomasochism, W/we recommend Vahavta whose work can be found at kinkbeyondlimits.com

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Enthusiastic findom newbies kirizal and S dive into the controversial subject of playing with money. W/we chat about the politics of playing with the power of capitalism, the taboo of talking about money in relationships, and why financial domination carries so much stigma and shame. Plus - ethics and safety, the symbolism and meaning behind giving and receiving money, and how findom works for U/us in the context of an ongoing and intimate relationship.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

LAST CHANCE - Voting closes 2nd April, so if you haven’t please vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

This week, W/we’re bigger than ever - talking big dicks, big toys, and fisting. kirizal dives into what’s going on with their size kink, while S is in it for the objectification and mad science. W/we tackle the age old question of does size matter, chat porn dick and dick pics, and discuss the appeal of non-standard sex toys. Plus - safety, stretching tips, and kirizal forces S to accept compliments.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

This week, Bunny and L join kirizal and S for a chat about the sillier and more lighthearted side of kink - WAM (wet and messy) and looner (balloon) kinks! Bunny is an adult content creator and takes U/us through their adventures of discovering new desires through performance, experiences of running specialist kink events, and what the draw is of these desires. L - one of their partners - shares their experiences of being along for the ride and the kinks they acquire along the way. Clown energy and giggles on the podcast this week - with, as always, some filth and diversions.

Find more of Bunny at https://allmylinks.com/ukchubbybunny

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

Time for another kinky movie, and this time it’s Secretary. kirizal and S talk about relatability in awkwardness, agency in submission, and the joy in seeing kink on screen represented as genuinely perverse and unpolished. Plus - masochism and self harm, neurodivergence in kink, and W/we find out if kirizal can read out a movie quote without crying.

Content Note: Spoilers for Secretary throughout, detailed discussion of self harm both in the movie and personal experience, discussion of consent issues including coercion and sexual harassment. The movie also includes a scene of domestic violence - which W/we don’t discuss in detail but do briefly reference.

There was a slight buzzing interference issue on this recording - hopefully not too troublesome and nothing like the chaos with the old mics! The upcoming episodes W/we’ve done so far are all clear so shouldn’t hear it again anytime soon (hopefully ever!)

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

On this episode, Mark joins kirizal and S to talk about sharps play - needles, blades and scalpels. W/we chat about finding the resources to learn these types of skills, vetting and negotiating for play, the appeal of blood and scars, and managing risk. Plus lots more!

Content Note: Detailed discussion of sharps play including blood and scarring, brief mention of self harm. Conversations around degradation and humiliation kinks including brief mentions of vomit and scat, and more detailed discussion of play involving very dirty feet and socks.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45