Don’t Scare the Newbies!

This week W/we’re getting back to basics with a closer look at the classics - dominance and submission. What separates power play from other areas of kink? How can power be expressed, where does it come from and what different flavours can it have? kirizal and S talk about negotiation for power exchange, different approaches to rules and authority styles, the role of discipline, and lots more! With handy tips for people new to power exchange relationships and a look at how O/our dynamic is developing into something a little more edgy with time, on this episode W/we had plenty to talk about!

Content Note: Some discussion of play involving simulated sexual assault

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

Location tracking, surveillance cameras, and an open door policy - as often happens, kirizal’s dream life sounds like many people’s worst nightmare. On this episode, S and kirizal chat about the ways that W/we erode privacy and dignity in a fun, consensual way. Also - the age old debate about the construction of a proper cream tea, kirizal’s many open tabs, and pooping with the door open.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

Tom and Kay - hosts of Insert Here - join kirizal and S to chat about polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and all the excitement and challenges that comes with navigating alternative relationship styles. Plus - exhibitionism, kinky podcaster life, and lots more!

Listen to Insert Here anywhere you find podcasts, and check out their website here: insertherekink.com

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

Who would wanna get stung by nettles on purpose? Probably surprising to no one that the answer is kirizal, with S more than happy to deliver. So as W/we look forward to nettle season just around the corner, kirizal and S break down the process and techniques involved in nettle play, just a touch of science, and lots of footling about.

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

On this episode, Hope's back with her flatmate Ash joining her to talk about their exploration in kink - we chat petplay, primal, and embracing the animal within, kink on a budget, switching, gender identity, and kink outside of a defined relationship or power dynamic, plus lots more!

There was a major audio issue with this recording, which Ash and Hope worked for weeks to repair for U/us (much appreciated) - the end result is a little less polished than most of O/our episodes, but the content was too good not to release. From next episode W/we're on the new, much improved microphones full time so this is the last time you'll have to suffer questionable audio - promise!

Content Note: Contains discussion of consensual non-consent play including simulated sexual assault, some high risk kinks including choking, blood play, and punching, and some discussion of mental health difficulties.

Follow Hope on her socials at:

https://www.instagram.com/djanngles?igsh=bnJqNzYzMmh3ZDMz&utm_source=qr

Twitch.tv/djanngles

Follow Ash on their socials at:

https://x.com/nyaroticx?s=21

Twitch.tv/nyarotic

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

In this episode W/we answer popular Tiktok search “is kirizal a boy or a girl”, S and kirizal compare gender “journeys”, and chat about how gender identity, roles, oppression, and expression influence kink. Plus - how inclusive is the kink community? Is kink better when it’s self aware and subversive? And is it a feminist act to be horny?

Content Note: Discussion of misogyny and transphobia

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

Through S’s repeated disclaimers that appearance control is NOT about making kirizal hotter, W/we talk about the undeniable glow up that happened in 2025. Why is appearance control so fun? Is being a bimbo really about being any less smart? And how does hyper-femininity feel for a nonbinary person? Plus - kirizal slips into bimbo headspace mid-recording, and S continues to lose the battle to stop kirizal stealing Their clothes.

Content Note: Some discussion of weight loss

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

kirizal’s ex, Hope (previously known as Alexea), joins U/us this episode to talk about navigating breakups in power exchange relationships. How do people disentangle their lives when they have created such an interdependent structure? How do submissives decondition from rules that have become reflex? And how can kinky couples exit plan for a softer landing while still riding the optimism of the honeymoon period? Plus - staying friends with exes, kitchen chaos, and we address the “missing chapter” from kirizal’s content - That big breakup.

Content Note: Discussion of abuse within D/s, and attempted suicide (brief, no details).

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

In this episode, kirizal and S answer listener questions and recap 2025. Laughs, tears, healing and perversions, this episode has it all as W/we round up a busy, exciting, and very kinky year.

Content Note: Although nothing particularly explicit, this episode does include mentions of play involving simulated sexual assault and domestic violence

It wouldn’t be Christmas without some light trauma dumping, a discussion about the link between religious shame and CNC, and some historical genital mutilation. It’s O/our festive episode, so kirizal and S talk faith and spirituality, O/our childhood Christmas traditions and the new ones W/we are making together, kink as a spiritual experience, how worship and ritual fit into O/our dynamic, and the value of community.

Content Note: Some discussion of drug use/addiction, mention of sexual assault, and castration. It’s festive, W/we promise!