Don’t Think Twice

We cannot pursue radical ideas of friendship, co-living, and community without talking about HOUSING.

It's been the unspoken elephant in the room in some of our past episodes on group living, platonic life partnerships, aging, and queer chosen family. You might have listened to those episodes thinking, okay, this is great. But literally HOW?

The logistics of making a life are difficult right now. Housing is a mess even doing things the "conventional" way...much less trying NEW ways to build a chosen family, maintaining proximity to your friends, and keeping loneliness at bay. Our guest Michael Freedman-Schnapp is a housing policy expert who walks us through the social trends and policy changes that got us here, and some of the possible solutions to a very complex set of problems.

More episode notes and reference links to the studies and books mentioned in this conversation at: https://emergencycontacts.substack.com/p/we-solved-the-housing-crisis

Our special guest, writer and activist Sarah Schulman, joins us to discuss the practical realities of building community from her perspective as an activist, community organizer, and artistic mentor!

This season, we have explored the ways we can forge friendship and chosen family. One angle we haven't yet examined is the the power of rallying around a shared cause. This, too, is a form of community, and of family.

We were honored to speak with Sarah about so many things -- her writing, her time in Act Up, her opinions on group unity and successful advocacy, and her thoughts on today's political climate. We also discuss her artistic achievements: building spaces for queer experimental filmmakers; being a generalist; and the legacy of mentoring younger generations of writers.

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Follow Amrita & Andrew at emergencycontacts.substack.com

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The books by Sarah Schulman that we mention in this episode include:

Let The Record Show: A Political History of Act Up

Conflict is Not Abuse

After Delores

Today, a topic that many of us would rather avoid: old age. We discuss what it looks like to grow old in today's increasingly lonely world, where people have fewer children, divorce is more common, and the reality of nuclear family and housing norms means that elders often end up isolated.

Here's a fun fact: friendship is actually shown to be more beneficial for older people than marriage, reducing the health burdens of loneliness and acting as a greater predictor of lifespan. What foundations are you laying now for the future you -- in relationships, family, and community? How are you caring for folks in older generations, and how do you wish to be cared for in turn as you age?

First, we speak with Jasmine McFarlane, who works with older adults at Lenox Hill Neighborhood House, one of the oldest settlement houses in the country). Next, we welcome Christina DaCosta  of SAGE, an advocacy group for LGBTQ+ elders.

We talk about what our seniors need to thrive today, the greatest challenges they face, and how their orgs are attempting to meet those needs. With it, the reality that --with any luck-- we too will grow old. 

This episode tapped into our empathy and curiosity about aging -- we hope it'll do the same for you.

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• Follow Amrita & Andrew at their weekly newsletter, Emergency Contacts (emergencycontacts[dot]substack[dot]com)

Today we speak with writer Lola Milholland, who has a new book out called "Group Living and Other Recipes" -- a hilarious and profound memoir on communal living experiments.

How can we make our home lives more expansive and imaginative? Can our living setups support deeper connection with our friends and our communities? If you've ever fantasized about a "Golden Girls" style setup with your BFFs...this is required listening. [And if you've never thought it could be done IRL, then that goes double!]

p.s. Lola was an early guest in "Season Zero" of the pod back in 2018 - here's that episode

In this episode, we welcome Rhaina Cohen, who literally wrote the BOOK on intimate friendships. "The Other Significant Others" profiles several friends whose relationships challenge us to rethink the default choices around sex, romance, intimacy, and family.

How can these friendships help us escape the metaphorical escalator that pulls us to the choices we're "supposed" to make, instead of the ones that we really want?

This is a podcast on intimate friendship, and on today's episode, we strip that down to the basics. A breezy summer confection of just us two, dishing as we love to do: ...debating where to stand at a concert; yearning for a Gen Z selfie consultant; reveling in the pleasure of being RIGHT (dammit); and giving heartfelt advice to our younger selves.

Soon, we'll be opening up the season to talk about chosen family and community building, featuring some GREAT interviews with authors, experts, and icons (from radical friendship idioms to senior centers, to communal living, to nightlife). But before we head out to explore all that, we get back to basics: just two friends...being friends.

Amrita and Andrew invite six friends around the dinner table to discuss friendship and intimacy: our co-host Marina, plus college friends, an ex-boyfriend, a neighbor...all with different perspectives on romance and family. We talk about what makes people get close, the difference between friend-intimacy and romance-intimacy -- plus, some personal tea spillage...just between us buds. Pull up a chair!

One of people's first questions is "how do your families feel about all this?" --so we decided to ask them ourselves. Andrew and Amrita had one-on-one phone conversations with our parents and siblings to talk family dynamics, and then sat down with Marina to hash it all out.

Our families have plenty of feelings about being joined together by the appearance of our son Aadi a year ago. We get into it ALL, no holds barred.

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Don't Think Twice is a podcast on intimate friendship. Amrita and Andrew are writers and creative collaborators, platonic life-partners, and parents to a 1 year old son. Our friend Marina Weiss, poet, and clinical psychologist, hosts these conversations. 

Keep in touch at emergencycontacts.substack.com

We've made it to our baby's first birthday (!) and we're celebrating with a new season of Don't Think Twice.  How has the past year been? What are the expectations versus reality of parenting as friends? Did things shake out as we imagined in last year's Season 1 episodes? Join us and find out!

Amrita and Andrew are creative collaborators, platonic life-partners, and co-parents to a very good baby. You can keep up with them at emergencycontacts.substack.com

Poet and clinical psychologist Marina Weiss joins us again as moderator and host.

We've come full circle in our tale of preparing for co-parenting: FAMILY. Andrew and Amrita's biological families will be fused together by this new baby -- what will that look like for a platonic couple? How will our very different religious and cultural upbringings come into play for our new family unit?

Host Marina Weiss helps bring this series home.

Want more updates from our nontraditional family? Let us know what you'd like to see from future episodes!