Don’t Wreck Yourself

In this week's episode, Matt and Ryan help a Redditor break up with their long term significant other, tell you how to talk to women, and discuss a mysterious administrative disciplinary form from the Army that cropped up online in which a foreign government is invited to eat America's .

Matt and Ryan discuss the merits of real estate advice from the Illegal Pro Life Tips subreddit on Reddit before diving into a question about whether it is safe to perform self-love in a world of horny spirits. They then dive into the sordid tale involving a chimney sweep imposter and Queen Victoria's skivvies, before cackling with some foul mouthed avians causing a dust up at a sanctuary in England.

Matt and Ryan are joined by Kalea from The Whores in Room Six podcast to answer all the internet's questions. Our helpful trio first answers a query from r/nostupidquestions about female anatomy. Then they discuss an image from the internet warning the perpetrator behind a string of heinous bell pepper related crimes of a coming divine retribution. Then Kalea presents the sad but true fate of Chattanooga Tennessee's Swingers Tiki Palace. Then they finish off a few horses related topics in a final race to the end of the episode.

In this episode, Matt and Ryan fly by the seat of their pants answering a series of rapid fire Reddit questions about parenting, animals, electric car charging stations, wicca and other things they are grossly underqualified to discuss. Gone is the veneer of research, replaced with the hubris of bravado!

In this episode, Ryan and Matt get schooled by some smart listeners when they revisit their mistakes. Then they teach a short networking seminar about how to meet the scrappiest entrepreneurs in your neighborhood: drug dealers! Next they fact check a meme claiming that someone in 1882 actually did invent a better mousetrap: a gun. They also break down why you can't buy white laser pointers  in language so simple that a five year old can understand (or someone from the "explain it like I'm five" subreddit at r/eli5), and lastly Matt looks into claims touting a healthy vegan alternative to consuming human flesh! 

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In this episode Matt and Ryan discuss a question from r/nostupidquestions about what to do when someone poops on you like a pigeon. Like, if they were a pigeon. Nobody poops on pigeons. There's a pecking order. Then they discuss a listener submitted claim regarding the possibility that the Ghost of Genghis Kahn might be preparing to declare World War 3 from the afterlife. Then they finish up by choosing a species to finish off when they answer another r/nostupidquestions inquiry.

 Also, content warning: Genghis Khan used to be a huge piece of, and this episode does acknowledge his pattern of sexual assault.

In this special Halloween episode, Matt and Ryan are joined by Cap from the podcast Shrimp and Crits. They take on a variety of terrifying topics, including ghosts, vampires, werewolves, zombies, pregnancy, and the end user license agreement for one of Amazon's software solutions. Are you terrified yet? While discussing whether there are ghost seamen in vampire balls, they hold flashlights under their faces to increase the spook factor. How about now?

"Thunder, Very Close, Rain, A.wav" by InspectorJ (www.jshaw.co.uk) of Freesound.org

"Thunder, Very Close, No Rain, C.wav" by InspectorJ (www.jshaw.co.uk) of Freesound.org

"Thunderstorm_003_Minus1db.mp3" by Algaeman of Freesound.org

"footsteps-squeeky-wood.aiff" by tmkappeltn of Freesound.org

"knakande-dorr" by ryding of Freesound.org

"creaking-door" by fuzzpapi of Freesound.org

"knakande-dorr" by ryding of Freesound.org

"door-pounding-increasing-intensity" by jhumbucker of Freesound.org

"doorknob-rattle-2" by castironcarousel of Freesound.org

"button-05" by jarredgibb of Freesound.org

"2-beating-of-wings" by miguelab1998 of Freesound.org

"duskwolf" by killyourpepe of 

Freesound.org

"Songs and Csardas" performed by Emery Deutch and his Gypsy Orchestra (Recorded 1949) retrieved October 2021 from https://archive.org/details/78_as-a-bud-blossoms-to-a-rose-asszony-lesz-a-lanybol_emery-deutsch-and-his-gypsy-or_gbia0020274

Matt and Ryan examine Hooters' new uniform policy and find it comes up short on fighting patriarchal exploitation of female sexuality to sell dead animal parts dipped in hot sauce. Then they take on a pair of ketchup related question, the first makes you think, the second make you want a drink. There are two types of people in this world, ketchup fans and not-ketchup fans, and you'll walk away from this episode knowing once and for all who you are. Finally, Matt and Ryan investigate a missing fetish report from r/nostupidquestions on Reddit, scouring the internet for some lost kink to prove the infallibility of Rule #34... destroying Matt's browser history in the process.

Matt and Ryan reminisce about Bostonians they've known before diving into a claim that eating a veggie burger will send you right through a Biblical loophole to . Then they stalk silently through the shadows, emerging to strike when least expected with the truth about a recent ninja attack against US soldiers. From there, they judge whether the eviction of unwanted and unhoused guests is an move when they take on an r/aita inquiry. Finally, they slip into something a little more comfortable--like a NASA jumpsuit--as they try to answer an r/nostupidquestions thread about whether there are zero G spots in Zero  G... which is to say, whether anyone on the ISS has ever fed the space ducks.  

Rick Reynolds joins Matt and Ryan to solve the internet. They discuss all the movie set dressing you can stuff up your nose answering an r/nostupidquestions query. Then Rick explains how to use the term "fair dinkum", and does a fair dinkum job of it. Then they talk about a lady who sparked a massive wildfire while boiling bear urine. Then, as a final affirmation of Rick's sanity, he is asked to defend the very existence of his homeland against allegations of non-existence. This one is high stakes.