Dot to Dot

Discussion Points:

• Psychological Vitamins: Dr. Keyes and Fiona discussing the importance of "psychological vitamins"—activities such as helping others, continuous learning, and forming meaningful connections and how these activities are crucial in fostering a healthy and fulfilling life.
• Small Changes Big Impact: They discuss the fact that very small changes in lifestyle, if focussed on the ‘right’ things can create a significant difference in mental health. 
• Impact of Childhood Trauma: The lasting impact of childhood trauma on mental health is explored, with Dr. Keyes sharing firsthand experiences from his own life. This personal insight highlights the long-term effects of trauma and the importance of addressing it early.
• Mental Health in Healthcare Workers: Dr. Keyes emphasizes the critical role of mental health in supporting healthcare workers. Ensuring their mental well-being is not only vital for their own health but also for maintaining high-quality patient care.
• Preventive Mental Health Care: A significant portion of the discussion focuses on shifting society's approach from solely treating mental illness to preventing it. Dr. Keyes' research indicates that individuals who are flourishing are less likely to develop PTSD, depression, or anxiety, especially during stressful events like the pandemic. In contrast, those who are languishing are more vulnerable.
• Critique of Medication-Only Approaches: Dr. Keyes critiques the current approach of relying heavily on medication to treat mental health issues. While some individuals benefit from medications, many treatments are primarily placebic and expensive. He advocates for a preventive approach that promotes overall mental well-being to reduce the likelihood of relapse.
• Promoting Flourishing: By fostering flourishing, individuals are more likely to maintain long-term recovery from mental health issues. Dr. Keyes underscores the importance of promoting positive mental health alongside treating symptoms of depression and anxiety.
• Historical Perspective: Reflecting on his career, Dr. Keyes notes that despite recognizing depression as a major public health challenge in 1996, societal approaches to mental health have not significantly changed. He stresses the need for a proactive mental health care system to improve outcomes and reduce the overall burden of mental illness.
• Role of Education and Societal Change: Fiona and Dr. Keyes discuss the importance of education and societal shifts in promoting mental well-being. In the UK, some doctors now prescribe social activities to improve mental health, but broader educational efforts and societal changes are needed for long-term impact.
• Analogy with Athletes: Dr. Keyes draws an analogy with athletes who prepare their bodies and minds to withstand challenges. He suggests that individuals should adopt similar preventive measures in their daily lives to ensure long-term health and resilience.
• Future Vision: Dr. Keyes envisions a healthcare system that monitors individuals' mental health proactively, much like a pit stop team in a car race. Such a system would detect early signs of declining mental health and provide timely interventions to prevent crises.

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

The discussion delves deep into the paradoxical nature of perfectionism, exploring how it often leads to hiding our struggles and hopes out of fear of disappointment or perceived failure. Jordana reveals how keeping challenges secret, particularly in sensitive situations like IVF, can actually deprive us of crucial support rather than protect us from disappointment. Throughout the episode, Fiona and Jordana explore the importance of selective vulnerability, the power of social support, and the journey of overcoming perfectionist tendencies. They disxuss how society feeds us with certain beliefs that we pursue They touch on various aspects of personal growth, including empathy, creativity, and the process of changing ingrained behaviors to align more with personal well-being than societal expectations.This episode offers valuable insights for anyone grappling with perfectionism or facing personal challenges they're hesitant to share, emphasizing the strength found in vulnerability and the importance of allowing ourselves to be supported.

Key Takeaways:

1. Perfectionism often leads to hiding struggles, which can prevent receiving necessary support
2. Selective sharing with trusted allies can provide crucial emotional support
3. Social support is vital both in pursuing goals and facing adversity
4. Overcoming perfectionism involves embracing vulnerability and allowing support from others
5. Changing ingrained perfectionist behaviors is possible and beneficial for personal growth

Why not subscribe to The Dot newsletter form Fiona and the team 

“The simplest, most impactful newsletter for personal growth and meaningful connections.”

Click here to go to the sign up page 

Every fortnight, a new edition includes:

• One Key Insight based on science 
• One Simple Exercise to put the insight into practice and live a ‘life connected’ 
• One Point to Ponder over the next two weeks.  

By deepening your understanding of yourself and your relationships you’ll begin to find more joy and success. Connecting the dots on your life one step at a time.

To find Jordana Confino and the resources she offers click here 

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

At 16, Corey Keyes seemed to be thriving after a brutal childhood. He excelled in school, played quarterback on the football team, and lived with his loving grandmother in Wisconsin, USA. However, as he writes in his book, Languishing: How To Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down, he felt a "restless emptiness" whenever he slowed down. Determined to understand this feeling, he became a sociologist. 

Corey explains that languishing is a normal reaction to life's challenges but can become debilitating if not addressed. He describes it as “the absence of wellbeing…the absence of the really good things that make life meaningful and worth living.” He goes on to explain that “We all languish in a slightly different way. You may feel you don’t have purpose in life. You don’t belong. You’re not contributing. You don’t have warm relationships. You’re not growing as a person.”

Dr. Keyes identifies 11 qualities essential for well-being, including social and psychological aspects. The discussion delves into how mental illness impacts functioning and the importance of preparing for adversity. Corey highlights the significance of mental health preparation, emphasizing the need for social support.

Corey and Fiona discuss importance of social support in healthcare, encouraging professionals to acknowledge and appreciate their colleagues. They also discuss trust in high-performing teams, offering strategies like daily check-ins to build trust and openness. The conversation addresses languishing and ghosting in the workplace, stressing the need for consistent communication and connection. 

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

Jordana is full of energy, a joy to listen to and as one might expect of a Yale Law School grad she really "Knows her stuff".  She's also brutally honest explaining her own struggles through a seemingly ideal life of high achievement and how much of her perfectionism stems from a mother who herself "was a ruthless perfectionist, and she tried to perfect me." 

Jordana and Fiona also discuss the critical role of trust and vulnerability in effective mentoring and more importantly in simply being human - highlighting how these qualities are often overlooked, especially by professions where they are most needed. They debunk the idea that success requires sacrificing well-being, revealing instead that well-being fuels success. Jordana explains that positive psychology involves acknowledging negative emotions to fully experience positive ones, helping to explain the key differences between positive psychology and toxic positivity. She also explains that acknowledging negative emotions is crucial to fully experience positive ones. They also discuss the impact of positive emotions and how they enhance cognitive function, creativity, and resilience. 

Jordana is a certified positive psychology coach and the founder of JC Coaching & Consulting. She helps lawyers, doctors, and other high achievers transform their lives for the better.

To connect with Jordana go to:

Website:jordanaconfino.com

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

Gelmi and Fiona begin the conversation with an exploration of personality development for leaders and leveraging psychometrics as a tool to uncover innate qualities and potential. Gelmi uses the analogy of nurturing plants to illustrate how individuals can flourish given the right conditions. He also emphasizes the importance of mentoring, self-reflection, and creating safe environments where people feel valued and heard, in order to drive high-performance teams.

The discussion examines the significance of perspective, empathy, and emotional intelligence in leadership and workplace culture. Gelmi stresses the need for consistent modelling of desired behaviours by leaders to effect change across workplace cultures. He encourages embracing human emotions rather than shying away from them, highlighting the role of authenticity, self-awareness, and effective communication in fostering trust and openness.

Throughout the episode, Gelmi provides practical advice and thought-provoking insights, offering listeners a roadmap for personal and professional development in today's dynamic world.

Gelmi’s website is a great resource for anyone wanting to explore this topic further. You can find it at:

https://gelmi.coach/en/

And to find Thomas on Linkedin go to:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomasgelmi/

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

During the podcast Alex shares her inspiring journey and the inception of the foundation. Coming from a family with a deep love of sports, Alex's early exposure to hockey instilled in her a profound love for the game. She embarked on her own sporting journey with a fervent desire to represent England in hockey. Supported by her family, coaches, and teachers, Alex pursued her dream with unwavering determination. However, her path took an unexpected turn when she faced rejection at the under-16 England trials. This setback deeply affected Alex, leading to a struggle with her mental health as she grappled with the loss of her identity as a hockey player. Reflecting on her experience, Alex realized the need for young athletes to have a holistic relationship with sports, one that goes beyond performance on the field. She recognized that while sports play a significant role in shaping individuals, they are just one aspect of a person's identity. Fueled by a desire to support young people facing similar challenges to herself, Alex founded The Mindtridge Foundation. 

The foundation aims to help young individuals develop positive relationships with sports by harnessing the power of positive role models, including Olympians and Paralympians and providing young people with the guidance needed to navigate the world of sports while maintaining a strong sense of self-worth and identity. Her vision is to ensure that no young person experiences the isolation and struggle she faced, but instead finds fulfillment and empowerment through sports in any capacity. So far the charity has helped 88,000 young people. Concluding the episode, Alex and Fiona share their shared vision for empowering youth and overcoming obstacles through preparation, determination, and a commitment to fostering inclusive and supportive environments within the sports industry. 

Fiona is lucky enough to be one of the Mintridge Squad – part of the team supporting the amazing work that Alex and the charity are doing for young people. 

To learn more about Mintridge or to donate to this worthwhile charity please go to:

https://www.mintridgefoundation.org.uk

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

Zoiey is a trailblazing inclusion activist who has made significant contributions to the world of sports. With over 20 years of experience in the industry, she has worked her way up from being an athlete to becoming a highly respected inclusion consultant. In 2017, Grazia magazine recognized her as one of the top Black British influential figures in the UK.

Zoeiy's journey is one of unwavering determination and resilience. She shares insightful anecdotes and personal experiences, highlighting the importance of embracing one's identity and advocating for inclusivity in sports and beyond.

Throughout the episode, Zoeiy also reflects on the challenges she's faced, from childhood encounters with racism to navigating gender biases in the sports industry. Her candid insights shed light on the importance of creating inclusive spaces and challenging societal norms. Zoeiy's dedication to promoting diversity and inclusivity, her impact on the industry is undeniable. 

For more from Zoeiy you can find her at:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/zoiey-smale/

To find out more about Oka and how we can help to improve DEI within your work place go to:

https://www.oka.life

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

Through her work with bloss.m, Lola is breaking barriers for underrepresented groups in the workplace and addressing systemic obstacles to success. She emphasizes the importance of mentorship, personal growth, and self-awareness in achieving long-term goals.

Join us as we explore Lola's impactful journey, her commitment to empowering women and girls, and the transformative power of mentorship and self-reflection. Lola radiates warmth and inspiration, illuminating every room she enters or, in this case, every airwave she graces. With her fearless approach to life's journey, she charts paths less traveled, guiding others along the way and encouraging others to discover their true potential. We can all learn from Lola's insights and be inspired to make a difference in our own life and the lives of others.

For more from Lola go to https://www.linkedin.com/in/lolaolaore/

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

For more from us go to:

https://oka.life or https://fionamurden.com

 For more from Dr Russ Harris go to:

https://www.actmindfully.com.au 

Or find him on YouTube at 

@dr.russharris-acceptanceco972

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com 

In this episode we discuss the complexity of taking care of yourself and a newborn, and explore the unique challenges and experiences that come with motherhood. As Garrett shares her own experiences, she also delves into the products that made a difference in her life and how she and her family decided to create a company to provide solutions for other moms. Garrett shares that “The early stages of postpartum life redefined the word “comfort” for me and now I'm on a mission to help others get cozy while doing the hard things including but not limited to parenting, birthing and business building.”

She also touches upon the need for support and understanding in those critical moments, emphasizing the role of men as allies in this journey. This is something that we’re all too aware of at Oka, as well as matching women to mentors who have been through similar experiences (like for example returning to work after having a baby) we guide the allies (e.g. male colleagues, partners) in how to provide the best support while also looking after themselves. 

Prior to kozēkozē and motherhood, Garrett wrote and published a novel based-on-true events from her own life called, "Dare To Move." She also hosts the kozēkozē podcast where we bring in experts doing the hard things, like birth and business, to share their vulnerable stories on business and self-development. 

Garrett’s first career was in real estate development and she helped with the US rollout of Caffè Nero. Her love of fitness guided her to teach at Shred415 in Chicago and also Barry’s Bootcamp in Boston for 7 years.

Join us for this insightful episode as we explore the challenges and opportunities that come with motherhood, entrepreneurship and personal growth.

To find Garrett’s products go to: 

https://www.kozekoze.com

To sign up to Oka where we can help you back on your journey to fulfilling your potential in a way that fits or to support another woman through your own experience please sign up to

https://oka.life/waitlistpage

For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com