Down With My Demons: The Shadow Work Path

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Dating seems to be one of the most accessible things in the digital age and also one of it's biggest pain points. Not only in the superficiality of design but also in the lack of real connection through apps and platforms. We've grown accustomed to obscure ways of choosing a mate and may have even gotten ourselves in a place of fantasy that's proving hard to escape from. This episode dives into the shadowy bits of dating in this modern age as well as our new favorite dating past time and faux pas...ghosting. We discuss the potential reasons for ghosting, what it's like to be ghosted, and how we can heal on both ends of the spectrum. Please subscribe, follow, and share! I hope you enjoy and I'll see you next time.

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

ARTICLES:
"What is Ghosting?"  by Wendy Rose Gould
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-ghosting-5071864

"Ghosting is normal now. That's completely bonkers!" by Lisa Bonos
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/02/13/ghosting-is-normal-now-thats-completely-bonkers/

BOOKS:
"Emotional Unavailability: Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap"
By Bryn Collins

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Unavailability-Recognizing-Understanding-Avoiding/dp/0809229145

"How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community"
By Mia Birdson

https://www.amazon.com/How-We-Show-Community-Fractured/dp/1580058078/ref=asc_df_1580058078/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509159807707&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=419627294058695218&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028818&hvtargid=pla-917967900373&psc=1

"Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love"
By Amir Levine

https://amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139

TUNES:

"The Night We Met" by Lord Huron
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtlgYxa6BMU&feature=youtu.be

"Use Me" by Bill Withers
https://youtu.be/NuYDKzky4z0

"Stay With Me" by Sam Smith
https://youtu.be/pB-5XG-DbAA

"What Goes Around...Comes Around" by Justin Timberlake
https://youtu.be/TOrnUquxtwA

"Maneater" by Nelly Furtado
https://youtu.be/PLolag3YSYU

"Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado
https://youtu.be/6JnGBs88sL0

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This episode means a lot to me in that it's been a life long journey and exploration of how I interact with the world and with my internal process. Forgiveness can feel confusing.... how do we forgive? Forgiveness can seem impossible, especially when we've been betrayed and hurt. Something deep in us knows that forgiveness is in our best interest and sometimes it can be easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. Often we think forgiveness has the vibration of "it's all ok," or "no worries." But forgiveness is not about compliance. It's about freeing ourselves so we can stop dragging painful and transformative moments throughout all aspects of our lives. Please subscribe, follow, share, and if you feel inspired, leave a review! I hope you enjoy and I look forward to see you again soon.

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

"Forgiveness is letting go of the idea that the past could have been different" -Chloe Lionheart

PRACTICES:

Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta Meditation)

1. Happiness
2. Health
3. Safety
4. Peace

May you…
May I…

-------------------------

Ho’oponopono

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you


RESOURCES:

To learn more about Yom Kippur:
https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/yom-kippur-history-and-overview

VIDEOS:

“Why forgiveness is worth it” 

https://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_montana_why_forgiveness_is_worth_it?language=en

“Healing our hearts and the world through ho’oponopono”

https://xmonks.com/healing-our-hearts-and-the-world-through-hooponopono/

“Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta)”

https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/

"Listening to Shame"
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en

"The Power of Vulnerability"
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en

TUNES:

"Forgive Them Father" by Lauryn Hill
https://youtu.be/RTQL42onK08

"Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams
https://youtu.be/7x8wPt8xarE

"Ms. Jackson" by Outkast
https://youtu.be/MYxAiK6VnXw

"Sorry" by Justin Bieber
https://youtu.be/fRh_vgS2dFE

"Sorry" by SOJA
https://youtu.be/rfnuhefGC78

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This episode is one I've been grappling with for many years. It's hard to see friendships go, especially the ones we were in for the long haul. The truth is, death is a natural process to the flow of life and that goes for anything that ends...which is everything. Death of friendships can come about in many different ways. It could end in a drag out blow out. It could end slowly over time and slip away into the abyss. Or it could be the realization that we are no longer in alignment with someone else and so we gracefully remove ourselves. We could at either end of these situations at any time and it doesn't hurt any less. The truth is, losing friendships sucks! In this episode, I discuss why and how these things happen, the relationship to age and maturity, and touch on a few ways that I have experienced this in my own life. Just know, it's ok that friendships die. It's all part of this thing we call life. Please follow, subscribe, share, or leave a review! I hope you enjoy and I'll see you next time. 

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

VIDEOS:

"What Makes a Friendship Last?"
https://www.ted.com/talks/mona_chalabi_what_makes_a_friendship_last?language=en

"The Science of Friendship"
https://youtu.be/8DbP34U3buY

TUNES:

"Let Go" by Frou Frou
https://youtu.be/13WAhlE02ew

"I'd Rather Go Blind" by Etta James
https://youtu.be/u9sq3ME0JHQ

"Ex-Factor" by Lauryn Hill
https://youtu.be/cE-bnWqLqxE

"Bye Bye Bye" by N'Sync
https://youtu.be/Eo-KmOd3i7s

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None of us are above the capacity to hate. It's sometimes easier to point a finger and judge people or groups who are different than us and hate them and blame them for how they live and move in the world. With all the love that we are capable of, we hold that same capacity to tear down those in our same species, in the futile effort to make ourselves feel better. In this weeks episode, I explore the concept of hate. Where it originates in our development, how it can show up, and what we can begin to do about it in our lives. At the end, I share a practice that we know and love that helps when coming to consciousness about our ability to hate and next steps to take on our shadow path. Please subscribe, follow, share, and leave a review! I hope you enjoy and I'll see you next time. 

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

VIDEOS: 

“What we can do about the culture of Hate” Sally Kohn

https://www.ted.com/talks/sally_kohn_what_we_can_do_about_the_culture_of_hate?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

“Who is the Ni$$%#” James Baldwin *Content Warning*

https://youtu.be/L0L5fciA6AU

“Empathy is not Endorsement” 

https://youtu.be/L0L5fciA6AU

“I grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church: Here’s Why I left”

https://www.ted.com/talks/megan_phelps_roper_i_grew_up_in_the_westboro_baptist_church_here_s_why_i_left?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

RESOURCES:

Melanie Klein https://melanie-klein-trust.org.uk/theory/paranoid-schizoid-position/

TUNES:

“New Speedway Boogie” Grateful Dead
https://youtu.be/ucfnMES9u3c

"Black Rage" Lauryn Hill
https://youtu.be/mKZAYa8W448

“Let it Be” The Beatles
https://youtu.be/CTcb_33-DiI

"Strange Fruit" Billie Holiday
https://youtu.be/-DGY9HvChXk

“Killing in the Name” Rage Against the Machine
https://youtu.be/bWXazVhlyxQ

“AEnema” Tool
https://youtu.be/rHcmnowjfrQ

"You Outta Know" Alanis Morrisette
https://youtu.be/NPcyTyilmYY

"Creep" Radiohead (Cover)
https://youtu.be/hXlzci1rKNM

"Wish You Were Here" Pink Floyd (Cover)
https://youtu.be/rirDOIttODM

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Time is something we can't escape though sometimes it seems to evade us. The pace at which we want things to happen is not always the timing that brings them about and it can feel so defeating when they don't arrive on our time. We often say we don't have enough time in our lives, that time isn't on our side. Time is swiftly passing us by. What if we changed our perspective and narrative around time to one that worked with us? One that we could flow WITH and through. Time that supported us and gave us freedom like we've never known could be the game changer we are looking for.The time is now. Please subscribe, like, share, and if you liked the episode; leave a review! Thank you all for being here, see you next time. 

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

PRACTICE:
1...2...3...GO!

BOOKS:
"The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran

TUNES:
"Time Has Come Today - The Chamber Brothers
https://youtu.be/hIqwzQ7g-Cc

"Time"  - Pink Floyd
https://youtu.be/JwYX52BP2Sk

"Good Times, Bad Times" Led Zeppelin
https://youtu.be/TA9Rec1qAFQ

"Time Loves a Hero" Phish - Star Lake '98
https://youtu.be/a18owgz-zsQ

"Cats Down Under The Stars"  - Jerry Garcia Band
https://youtu.be/zEO8QJ03GbU

"About Damn Time"  - Lizzo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXXxciRUMzE

"Love Me Two Times" - The Doors
https://youtu.be/MsP6EKAzEjI

"Character Zero"  - Phish
https://youtu.be/3BGOHzbtzlA

"I've Had the Time of My Life" - Billy Medley and Jennifer Warnes
https://youtu.be/4BQLE_RrTSU

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This episode is jam packed with wisdom about these specific astrological placements that give many of us the heebie jeebies. I'm a believer that fear in something is truly a misunderstanding of the thing itself, and this episode serves as a guide to the prismatic quality of these wonderful planetary guides. Natalia has wonderful analogies to explain how these placements show up in our charts and references alchemy, mysticism, and timeless archetypes to help us better digest. Both Natalia and I share personal anecdotes around how these planets show up in our charts and how we move with, through, and because of them. It was a really a special treat to have her on the show and I can't wait to hear what you all think. Please like, follow, share, and leave a review if you found this a helpful resource. I hope you enjoy and I'll see you all next time!

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

To get in touch with Natalia, find her at one of her many platforms:

Instagram: @natalia_benson

Websites: www.nataliabenson.com
                      www.magicalwomenandmoney.com

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/NataliaBenson/videos

Ninth Child: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6SvJMs093DYb3tXiXFl16J?si=BsbAxBQ8Q1iEqgFrVb8A9w

Chiron Article: https://www.wellandgood.com/chiron-in-astrology/ 

------------------------------------------------------
Astrology Resources:

http://astro.com

https://cafeastrology.com/

Saturn Return: https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/a36328669/saturn-return-meaning-astrology/

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Callie Cavanaugh is a dear friend and a food inspiration in my life. Her "Eat In Method" has coalesced from years of experience and we touch on the path she took to come into balance with HOW and WHY intention with food matters. Through the laughter and story telling, we unpack food systems, different cultural views of food and nourishing with the ones we love, and how to cultivate more awareness in our lives. This episode leaves my heart feeling happy and inspired and I hope it does the same for yours. Callie has so many incredible resources, which I've included below. Please subscribe, like, follow, and share! If you have a desire to support the show more fully, please leave a written review. I hope you enjoy and see you next time.

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

To get in touch with Callie and to learn more about her offerings:

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.calliecavanaugh.com (find other great resources through Callie’s website!)

Instagram: @Calliecavanaugh_

Book: “The Eat In Method” *Coming September 2022*

Chef Services: Nonna Eats (insta: @nonnaeats / website: https://nonnaeats.com/home

Podcast: Eat In Podcast 


Concepts: 

Wabi Sabi: https://www.omaritani.com/blog/wabi-sabi-philosophy-teachings

Resources to Produce Delivered to Your Door:

Imperfect Foods: https://www.imperfectfoods.com/

Farmer Jones Farm: https://www.farmerjonesfarm.com/collections/frontpage

Seasonal Information:

Local Harvest:

https://www.localharvest.org/boulder-co

Seasonal Food Guide:

https://www.seasonalfoodguide.org/

Types of Beneficial Farming Practices:
Regenerative:

https://regenerationinternational.org/why-regenerative-agriculture/

Biodynamic:

https://www.biodynamics.com/

Organic: 

https://www.fao.org/organicag/oa-faq/oa-faq6/en/

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This episode is about a topic that's brutally tough for many of us... boundaries! Saying the word, thinking about it, or getting ready to set a boundary has the power to make us hide under a blanket. But what we think is so scary about boundaries actually keeps us trapped by their lack in our lives. I discuss why boundaries are so crucial to living a life that's less stressful, more playful, toward your ultimate goals, and full of healthy connection. Setting boundaries is a muscle that, when practiced and utilized, gets stronger over time and easier to flex. We are worthy of true care from others and especially from ourselves and we wont get it without boundary setting. So sit back, relax, and be prepared to get real with yourself and the situations of your life. Please like, follow, and share! Enjoy and see you next time. 

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

Resources:

“We Should All Be Millionaires “ Rachel Rodgers

“Good Boundaries Free You” – Sarri Gilman

https://youtu.be/rtsHUeKnkC8

“Why People Pleasing is Hurting You” –Salma Hindy

https://youtu.be/55HERZnmHT8

 
Lindsay Braman: Internal/External Boundaries Illustration

https://lindsaybraman.com/internal-external-boundaries/ 

Steps to Setting Boundaries:
1. Define what your boundaries/limits are. What are your NO's?
2. Communicate those boundaries with people in your life.
3. Say them SIMPLY. No need to over explain.
4. Create and communicate the consequences of someone (including yourself) not holding your boundary.   
5. Hold your boundary and make good on the consequences where needed.

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There is so much ground covered in this episode with the incredible Venus! What a blessing it was to have Venus join us, especially the day after Roe v. Wade was overturned. We discuss rage and somatic experiencing, dreams, the shadow of the feminine in society, consent, and about the importance of sharing our abortion stories. Venus gives with her full heart to this episode and we both unpack wounds from the past and what we've learned along the way. There is so much medicine and food for thought in this episode and I hope this encourages many more of us to speak up and out about our stories. Thank you for your patience with the release of this episode and please subscribe, follow, share, and leave a review! Enjoy and see you next time. 

*important note* DO NOT utilize the use of herbs, wild crafting, foraging, online pills, or other forms of at home abortions without consulting a professional herbalist, healer, or medical professional first! These particular avenues can be incredibly dangerous, even if they are from the earth. Please use caution and always make sure you have a support system near by. 

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

To get in touch with Venus:

Find her on instagram.com/venus_codes or atwww.themoonmagic.com.

“Bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open because the world needs you open.” -Rebecca Campbell 

“1984” by George Orwell

"Eastern Body - Western Mind: Psychology and the Chakra System as a Path to the Self" by Anodea Judith

"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

"Spiritual Fertility: Integrative Practices for the Journey of Motherhood" by Dr. Julie Von

"Living With Feeling" by Lucia Capacchione

https://mobilitymastery.com/ - Fascia Information and Practice

https://www.divinefemagency.com/ - Somatic Coaching

“In Vain Pursuit: How Courtship Culture Trained Us to Disregard Consent” 

​​https://www.cbeinternational.org/resource/article/mutuality-blog-magazine/vain-pursuit-how-courtship-culture-trained-us-disregard

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This episode is PACKED with wisdom from my brother and fellow doctoral cohort member, Josh Ruszala. In this episode, Josh and I discuss how insecurities present themselves in social dynamics and how our thinking and feeling selves play a role. We both provide different anecdotes of our experiences with our insecurities and discuss how we navigate working through these social challenges. Carl Jung, Embodiment, Thinking, Feeling, and Hidden Trauma are just a few of the themes you'll find in this exchange. What a treat it was to host Josh and I hope you all get as much out of this as I did. Please subscribe, follow, share, and leave a review! Enjoy and see you next time! 

Website: https://www.downwithmydemons.com/

To get in touch with Chloe, please email:

             [email protected]

To stay in touch with Josh:

Twitter: @RoshJuszala

9 Signs of Insecurities:

1. Poor decision-making skills and limited ability to choose quickly
2. Being overly critical of self and others
3. Low self-esteem, marked by self-deprecation and perceptions of low self-worth
4. An overly high sense of self that is used to conceal true feelings
5. Perfectionism to the point of never being satisfied
6. Strong desire to be alone and avoid social situations
7. Struggles to believe others and build strong relationships based on mutual trust and understanding
8. Poor communication patterns that focus on the other person’s needs and wants more than their own
9. High levels of anxiety and stress

Titration: Utilizing just a little bit at a time, i.e. “I use titration in bringing up my trauma to be healed so I don’t flood my nervous system.”

Carl Jung:

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Carl-Jung

"Memories, Dream, and Reflections" Book

Jung's Collected Essays: Modern Man in Search of a Soul
(Specifically; Chapter 4: "A Psychological Theory of Types")

Another cool resource Josh showed me was from a show called, "Neon Genesis Evangelion"
specifically this clip from one of the episodes that is really incredible (especially if you like anime)!

https://youtu.be/vXbCWJNfq_0

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