Hear Dr. East Speak on the topic "I love him, but not his family"
How many of you can relate to this story line? “My boyfriend and I have been together for almost ten years. However, I have to admit, his family aren’t really my kind of people. His mother and I are close, but the rest of the family is pretty disrespectful to me. What can I do?”
How does that saying go…? When a man finds a woman, he finds a good thing. The fact that the two of you have been together for almost 10-years, shows that you have staying power. That power is a mixture of communication, sexual compatibility, and overall equal values and morals in the ways that you both think. But even if the relationship has not been that long, family connection difficulties can test your limits. Many of us have been there. You fall head over heels with somebody only to find that you really don’t vibe with their family.
Whether things got off to a bad start in the beginning or started positive and then turned sour, family dynamics can be a juggling act.
Although we all know deep down that our partner doesn’t live in a vacuum, emotionally, we sometimes expect them to completely ignore their family’s input when the going gets tough. Every family has its own unwritten book of rules based on many realities like culture, experience, tradition and gender balance. Being in love usually makes us completely emotionally blind for a while and more than willing to forgive initial setbacks with our other half’s family.
If you feel like his family is disrespecting you, then you need to address it with him. Both of you can then decide the best way to address or handle the situation. Your feelings do matter in this relationship and I don't care whether they are blood related or not, any form of disrespect to you is not acceptable. Your mate shouldn't want or allow any person to disrespect his Queen either. Now, if you do speak with him, and he becomes defensive or rationalizes the disrespectful behavior in some way, this is the time for you to think long and hard about your 10-year relationship and the direction that it is going. The relationship and the bond that the two of you create is between you and he and no one should be allowed to disrupt that, no matter who they are. This is not about him having his families back, this is about right and wrong. And a good person, whether they are male or female, knows the difference between the two and should stand up and speak up for what is right.
