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If you face challenges at work, you might want a fresh start. What if you could get it, in a beginner's mindset with your boss and your peers?

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

In today's podcast, I'm sharing a great way to love your spouse or significant other.

It's all about "beginner's mind."

New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Welcome to the Mindset for Life Podcast, Season Two! In this second season, we focus on specific themes in the next 12 months to grow your confidence and increase your influence as a leader. Whether you are an educator leading the way for your students, a coach co-leading your clients' growth, or a manager leading your team forward, you'll benefit from a single focus each week for the next 52.

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New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc.,

#72: A Mindset to Be Happy With Yourself

Sometimes, we wish there were a "user's guide" to being happy with ourselves. It seems elusive. What makes us happy? And how can we be happier? You've been thinking about how to be happy. Or more specifically, how to be happy in life. Or maybe even how to be happy again. You may have felt it some time in the past, but where is it now?

First, let's get more concrete with this idea. What is happiness?

Happiness is a warm puppy.

As younger people, we might have said that happiness is what we experience when we get something or have an experience. For example, when we are with a warm puppy, this might prompt us to feel happier. The puppy is youthful. It brings promise of growth and a future. It is still a small creature, waiting to grow.

Or maybe we felt a rush of joy when a friend wanted to be with us. In both situations, we have something or someone outside of ourselves associated with this feeling of happiness.

Yet when we are older, we might feel this same happiness sitting alone in nature. Or, we may feel it when looking over photographs and thinking about memories of the past. While happiness has been studied and found to be interdependent on other people in our lives, the general feeling is within us. And this means that we have something to do with it.

In fact, there are some people who do not feel happiness around warm puppies. And while we might feel good sitting in a serene, natural place, someone else might feel afraid in that same setting. It isn't the external situation that determines our happiness. If happiness does not come from things or experiences alone, we might be able to instead describe it as a way of being. Happiness is the way to live, not the destination.

Do you know anyone who seems to perpetually experience a joy and zest in life? Its as if that person lives every moment perpetually happy. If happiness is a way of being, what does it take to live this way?

You already know how to be happy.

Intuitively, we each have some kind of inner compass. You might call this a conscience. Or, maybe you would call it your "inner wisdom." And many of us call it the Spirit. Regardless, there is some part of us that has a sense of what will bring an overall sense of well-being and satisfaction in life.

Researchers have taken happiness and redefined it as overall well-being or life satisfaction. And from the field of positive psychology, we can break it down into five parts summarized with the acronym "PERMA." Perma stands for positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishments or achievements. And when we describe it in these ways, happiness is not so elusive or vague at all. In fact, it is a way of living we can create.

There is no secret about how to be happy in life.

If you've been thinking that someone out there has all of the answers about your happiness, you're looking in the wrong places. The idea that someone else knows the one big secret that will bring you personal happiness puts the control and responsibility for life in someone else's hands. Instead, you have within you the ability to identify what matters most to you, what strengthens you, and what enhances your positive well-being.

Because happiness is a way of being, rather than a goal to be achieved,

A Mindset to Make New Habits Stick

Welcome to the Mindset for LIfe Podcast. I'm happy to share with you that there is a strategy to make new habits stick. Why is it that we start these habits, and they never last very long? Today, we talk about what it takes to make new habits stick.

And it's all about this: the idea of a fresh start. We have rituals and routines that center around new beginnings and the possibilities that come with them. It’s as if life moves in cycles, each one bringing the idea of a fresh start. We think that we have a clean slate. The chance to try again. And we are born again, with opportunities. We can renew, improve, and redefine ourselves.

Do any of these seem like new beginnings you might have have experienced?

* New Year: People celebrate the old, ring in the new with parties, resolutions, goals.

* Beginning of the school year or academic semester. New clothes, a new pair of shoes. New haircut. Pictures of children ready to go to the first day of school.

* Secular and religious holidays.

* Monday Morning.

And in a research study, new beginnings also come from personal life events. They might be developmental milestones, life transitions, first experiences, or repeated significant things like anniversaries and birthdays.

* Moving to a new town. Living somewhere new, making new friends, going to a new school, job, church congregation, grocery store, etc.

* Getting Married.

* Graduating from high school.

* Graduating from college.

* Getting that first real job.

* Getting a new career position or advancement in a job. A new title. New opportunities, responsibilities. New ways to stretch and grow.

* New baby. Full of promise and potential. There is the first time this baby looks at you. The first time this baby giggles. Or says a word. Or moves around, or even walks. We feel so much joy at the smallest achievements, smiling and laughing. We call our family and friends. We take pictures and video.

* Or… children are older, and they move out of the house, and we’re what we call “empty-nesters.” We have a new start and more space, and time to think of taking up a new hobby or adventure.

* Or could it be… Retirement? Retirement faces some people with hope and anticipation of what could be, and of new freedom, and it hits others like a sudden loss. Maybe it’s taking away the familiar and well-loved career and all of the people who go with it and bringing a new unanticipated season. Like it or not, it’s time to develop something new. Or move in a new direction for service and contribution. Or hobbies and a part time job. Or even relocating to live closer to the grown-up children.

So many opportunities, big and small, bring the idea of a fresh start.

Why do we crave new beginnings so much? And why do they hold so much promise and hope for us?

The "Fresh Start" Effect Prompts Aspirational Behavior

FIRST—New beginnings bring with them something special also known as the “fresh start effect.” Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania at the Wharton School  studied this phenomenon and noticed that new beginnings naturally increase what we call “aspirational behavior.” And that means the motivation and drive to change ourselves, to become better versions of who we are. To let go of old habits, old and outdated assumptions about ourselves, and again, try to become better versions of ourselves. This fresh start effect happens because we are interrupted. We’re able to stop thinking about the day-to-day smaller tasks to check off our lists, and things to be done,

If you prefer to focus on your strengths and growth, and try to avoid looking at your dark side, now is the time. There are many benefits to looking at mistakes, challenges, weaknesses, and failures of the past. Today, we will look at three powerful take-aways from looking back, and how to become more confident as a result. Join me for today's podcast, as we examine your dark side.

This is episode number sixty nine: Loneliness and belonging.

Welcomed the Mindset for Life Podcast. This is Bethanie, your Coach, from DrBCoach.Com, coaching with power, purpose, and practical tools to help you show up with confidence.

Have you ever been lonely? I mean really alone. I have. I moved to a new town when I was a young adult for my first job out of college. I didn't know anyone. I was from a different state. I didn't have any neighbors I had met. I literally was completely alone, except for the telephone. I could pick up the phone and call my family two states away.

It was incredibly lonely those first few weeks, until I started my new job and made some friends in the workplace. Many people only know people at work. They don't go to a church group. They don't have neighborhood acquaintances. There are a lot of people in our world today who only know people at work. And in a period of pandemic times, with social isolation and people working from home, that can be incredibly lonely.

But what about in non-pandemic times? We can still be lonely in a crowd of people.

Loneliness is Common and Has an Impact on Us

Loneliness is a real problem in our world, and it can have devastating health consequences. First of all, there are some statistics about loneliness. I'm always interested in those. So, I want to share those with you. In a current survey posted on NPR in the beginning of 2020, the survey noted that three out of five Americans are lonely. Apparently 61% of all Americans are lonely. Of course, that was taken from a sample of ten thousand people and generalized to the entire population. The pandemic came along, and loneliness really picked up. So if you're not feeling the effects of loneliness, chances are that you have done things to overcome this and create connection. If you are feeling lonely, you're not alone. Many of us are lonely.

There's a lot that happens when we are lonely, because belonging is a basic human need. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of this, but there is a hierarchy of human needs, and belonging is one of the main needs that humans have. If you are alone, it can cause mental health problems like anxiety, emotional distress, addictions, depression. It can increase all sorts of health risks and decrease your quality of sleep. It can make it very difficult to stay asleep, if you are able to fall asleep. Social isolation and loneliness in older adults are also serious public health risks, and this does affect people all over the world. Belonging is the antidote to loneliness.

When it's missing, it hurts our participation in all sorts of things. So even if we go to work and there are people there, we may suffer from loneliness. It's difficult to show up at work and be our best selves. It compromises our participation at work. It also makes it hard to be a good spouse, a good parent, or to achieve at anything. When we're lonely we feel like discouraged and despairing. And if it happens for a long time, it can even generate attitudes of pessimism, cynicism, emotional isolation, and challenges to your faith. It can also take away your zip and yours zest for life, when it is there.

Belonging Strengthens Us and Begins Within

When we do feel a sense of belonging, it can bring pride in our family, in our neighborhood, and our friendships with peers we have at work or other places, pride in our community.

If you have never before searched the Internet for brain-based ideas to increase your wellbeing, this is the perfect time to look. All around, people are investing time and effort into fortifying wellbeing. And implementing strategies that work with your brain and guard against faulty thinking will work for you, not against you.

In today's podcast, you'll learn four brain-based ideas to fortify your wellbeing.