DrBCoach.com

In today's podcast, gain insight about the complexity of emotions, how to identify and feel your emotions, and how to use emotions in decision-making.

Many of us believe that emotions make things less clear. It’s this idea that facts speak for themselves, but emotions are much more subjective. In fact, when we feel difficult emotions about a relationship, a situation, or a decision to be made, it’s those feelings that keep us from knowing what we should do.

It might surprise you to learn that we can actually use our emotions to get clear and make decisions, instead of being stuck in them or feeling as if we’re surrounded by fog.

Today, I’m going to share some ideas that will help you out. You’re going to get some insight about how to use your emotions to work for you, instead of against you. And, you’re going to get a great tip for bringing out your best emotions in situations when you want to feel your best.

As an educator over the past 25 years and  certified professional coach, I’m passionate about helping people live and lead as the best version of themselves. I’m all about helping you get clarity so that you can put good out into the world. So that you can have an impact in those things you do and be satisfied being who you are.

Key Points:

* What emotions do you feel most often?

* How to identify, recognize, and feel emotions. And why it’s important to feel them, rather than suppressing and “stuffing” them.

* Emotions give us helpful information and feedback about what’s important to us. Think about your values and what matters to you in any given situation.

* Slow down. Notice what messages your emotions are sending you, what this means for decisions you are facing, and how you can see your decision more clearly.

To sum it all up, today I’ve shared with you the important role emotions play in your life, and why they matter so much in making decisions. I’ve noticed that many of the people I’ve coached have spent a lifetime trying to push their emotions aside, wanting to escape them. This could be because emotions seem to hijack us in the moment, and we struggle to control them. But when we can slow down, notice what our emotions are telling us, and let them in, they can actually help us see things more clearly and make decisions that keep us aligned to who we really are and who we want to be.

If now is the right time for you to learn how to use your strengths, you values, and your emotions to gain confidence and experience a transformation—not matter how small—please visit me on my website at drbcoach.com. Although I have very limited openings for new clients, I’d love to help you take the next step forward in your life, work, and relationships.

You can find me on the web at DrBCoach.com, and on my Facebook business page listed as DrBHCoach.

Best wishes this week, being the best version of YOU!

 

It's time to stop looking for happiness in doing more, and focus on these 5 things instead. Yep, that's right. Today I'm going to share with you five tips and a little-known secret. Stay tuned to this podcast, because I'm going to give it to you at the end of our time together.

In the next ten minutes, I'm going to help you figure out what might be missing in your life. I'll share what I learned from Martin Seligman in the field of positive psychology about happiness to help you understand how to experience more of it in your life. And, I'm going to share that little-known secret I mentioned a moment ago. It might surprise you, but it's going to help you in your life, your relationships, and your work.

 

Where Do We Seek Happiness?

People spend so much time looking for happiness.

We think that it's going to come to us from a career. Maybe if we have the kind of job we want, we'll be happy.

Sure, career success and growth can inspire us. The work we do everyday brings meaning to life. When there are opportunities to try new projects or meet new people, work is enjoyable. And then, there are those parts of our work that are repetitive, monotonous, and less enjoyable. We might even change jobs or careers, thinking that it's the job. Somehow the job failed us, and we're off to another one. Looking for happiness and satisfaction.

Then, we think it's going to come from relationships. If we get connected to the right people in our lives, we'll be happy then.

Some people get married, thinking that this will bring happiness. Or divorced, thinking that will ring happiness. Or we have children and look for our happiness in them. When children grow up to make different choices or have challenges, we might wonder. Is it their job to make us happy?

And then, there's our physical health. Perhaps we realize that we would like to be in different physical shape.

If we need to lose some weight to get healthier, we think about losing weight, and we think that will make us happy. The journey of weight loss is challenging, and it's often very difficult. I've been there myself and know that road well. We think that when we are a certain size, or when we hit our weight goal, we will feel better. We will finally be happy.

And so it goes.

We're on an endless search for happiness. We think we need to things to get it. We need to work harder. Or we need the right job, and happiness will be the result. We need to right situation. The right relationships. Other people will make us happy. We need to have the right kind of physical health or hit the goal.

And then we will be happy.

The Happiness Set Point

There's this idea that people have a general level of happiness they experience most of the time. We call this the happiness set-point. It could be temperament, personality, or something else that influences this, but each person has this general level of how happy they are from one day to the next. Sonia Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, proposed that people's happiness level is 50% due to genetic inheritance, which means people can only move their happiness up and down from a 'happiness set point.' And, we generally go back to that set point.

This week, on the Mindset for Life Podcast, we look at how you can reach your goals by confronting three things that keep you from goal success.

Have you ever considered making New Year’s resolutions?

Have you set goals at the beginning of each year?

If you want to make a change in your life, big or small, the new year seems a clean way to do it. The calendar changes, and it seems that we have a fresh start.

But is it really true?

We bring our same assumptions, ideas, and inner thoughts with us into the new year. We approach this opportunity to change with the same set of tools we had the previous year. And we often fail to reach new goals.

This time can be different.

In this week’s podcast, you’ll learn about:

* Negotiating the inner and outer experience to respond to expectations or criticism

* Noticing a focus on the past or future, vs. the present moment to manage worry and anxiety

* Working with the inner voice to think in new, helpful ways

When you tackle these areas of life, you become much more aware. And, new awareness brings capabilities to reach new goals.

You can succeed in reaching your goals when you use strategies to work in new ways. And, one of these strategies could be working with a professional coach!

If now is a great time to move forward in a personal or professional goal, take the time to connect with a coach. Professional coaches can partner with you to explore possibilities, help you align to your values, and celebrate success!

If you've ever felt that you're defending yourself, pushing, and resisting things that come your way, it's time to think about a mindset to create.

In today's podcast, you'll learn about how we actually create much or our experience. If you'd like to dive more deeply into the idea of storytelling with our inner thoughts, please enjoy one of the previous episodes, "We are all excellent storytellers." 

You'll learn about a mindset to create through these four key points:

* The way we tell our story

* Automatic thoughts we have

* The way we feel about it

* What we can do next

Surprisingly, the thoughts we think about our experience lead to our feelings and next steps. There's a lot we can do to feel satisfied, in control, and pleased with our lives and our work.

Please join me for this episode as we explore a mindset to create.

In today's Mindset for Life Podcast, we'll explore how to wake up happy. You can wake up happier and motivated, wake up energized, and wake up and feel positive about the day.

Do you ever wake up feeling bad? Perhaps you have inflammation in your face or body? Or you feel disgruntled, and it stays with you throughout the day?

If you have these experiences, chances are that you would like to feel better in the morning. After all, waking up happier, motivated, and energized can start your day well. Happiness is partially about our thinking and partly about our physiology. If you want to become an even better version of yourself, the way you start the day can help move you in that direction mentally. And your quality of sleep can help you physiologically.

Here are three areas this podcast will cover:

* What you focus on before you fall asleep at night.

* Three things to focus on (and to forget) during the day.

* Things to complete during the day, and the 80/20 rule.

For a link to The Happiness Paradigm, by Richard Eyre mentioned in the podcast, Click this link. 

In today's podcast, we'll look at a fun fall activity: the Linder Farms Corn Maze., a great metaphor for navigating life and managing difficult relationships.

 

We are all excellent storytellers. We have the power within us to interpret, explain, analyze, and clarify things that happen in our lives.

This power can be used to strengthen us and open possibilities. Our storytelling can connect us to other people. Or, we can use storytelling to justify, excuse, diminish, and victimize. It's amazing to consider our own storytelling abilities and what they bring us in life.

In today's podcast, I'll share a few perspectives and examples of storytelling. You will see how storytelling can become a beneficial part of your own journey when used consciously.

#47: A Self-Coaching MindsetWelcome to the Mind Set For Life podcast. This is Bethanie your coach from DrBCoach.com. Coaching with power, purpose, and practical tools to help you show up with confidence.

Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for joining me today. I'm very excited to talk to you about a self coaching mindset.

Last week, we talked about a coaching mindset. Some of the key points I brought up centered around this whole idea of curiosity—genuinely being curious about other people. In order to coach anyone we must actually care about what they think, how they filter things, what their experience is like. It’s so critical that we have an openness and curiosity. Ultimately, that is going to serve those people that we’re coaching the best.

It could be that we're coaching formally. Maybe we're professional coaches. It might be that we're coaching as managers and supervisors and leaders. Or, it could be that we are coaching children or our family members. Whatever the source of the coaching, true curiosity and an attitude of learning, where we don't come assuming that we know all the answers, is going to help us the most.

So, when we think about self coaching, what does that bring? Why would anyone coach themselves?

It's interesting. When you go to Coach School, you learn a lot about how you need to keep growing as an individual. You need to seek out others to coach you. You need to constantly be engaged in self-growth, self-development, and self-learning. It's critical to actually practice what we’re preaching.

So, if you're actually thinking that coaching is a useful thing for your clients, it's definitely useful for you as well.

As you continue to learn as a coach, then you have thoughts about where to go. You’re always learning something, and you always have a mindset of curiosity.

So, coaching yourself. Let's think about this idea. Can you really coach yourself? If you're truly curious about things, it's definitely possible to coach yourself, right?

You can ask yourself all kinds of questions. You could do this and write through journaling and reflection.

You could do this out loud, you could talk to yourself. Some people really do this and have quite lengthy conversations out loud. Some people speak to themselves as they're driving in the car. Some people talk to themselves when they're just walking around the house. I myself am not person who talks to myself out loud, I think to myself and I write to myself. But I don't actually talk to myself out loud. However, there are lots of people who do it, and it's a very normal thing to do.

One of the things I advocate in professional Coaching is to create what I call your “personal evaluation plan.”

I have noticed lately in my coaching of other people, I'm hearing a lot of people who really want more feedback.

Several of my coach clients have complained that their managers do not give them enough feedback. I've also spoken with people who need more feedback about personal issues, but they don't really think it's appropriate to ask their family members for feedback. And they're not really sure how to go about it.

If you're looking for more feedback and are not sure where to go.... First of all, of course, I always recommend a coach.

Coaches are generally not biased about your life. They don't come at you with a lot of judgement or criticism. They tend to have openness and a lot of curiosity and a total desire to help you go where you want to go.

What if you're not able to find a coach, or if you just don't want to work with a coach?

Self coaching is a great opportunity to work with your issues or your concerns or your gifts and talents, whatever you'd like to do and to continue moving forward.