DTLC Radio

Cognition - or thoughts - are what determine how persons understand the world around them and act (or react) within it. At their root, cognition is based on one's belief system. What you believe about yourself and the world determines your thoughts about it, which in turn determine your actions. With a few exceptions, every human action is part of a set of thinking processes. Your cognitive abilities are the brain-based skills required to complete any task - from the simplest to the most complex. Instead of being based on actual knowledge, these abilities are more closely associated with the way we learn, solve problems, and remember.

Every experience changes your brain's organization at some level. This change in organization is believed to be alterations in brain dynamics. Recent research has found that the brain is not a fixed, limited system that only degrades with age. Instead, it has "plasticity," the ability to change. Not only can the brain change but it can also create new neurons and connections between neurons throughout our lifetime. This creative process is known as neurogenesis (sometimes known as synaptogenesis - there is a difference but I won't get into it here).

Brain plasticity or neuroplasticity is the capacity of the brain to change and rewire itself as it responds to stimulation, specifically learning and experience. As we grow older, this rate of change may slow down but it never stops. Cognitive psychology and coaching are built around this framework that cognition and brain function can be changed, thus altering one's behavior. An old dog can be taught new tricks.

Learning is Key

Being a lifelong learner has always been important. In fact, it is a primary trait of great leaders. Today, when combined with the neuroscience of brain plasticity, lifelong learning takes on a whole new meaning. Now, it's a matter of brain health and well-being.

The process of learning and expanding your knowledge creates a physical change in your brain. Through neuroplasticity, learning increases cellular metabolism, the production of brain chemicals that maintain and repair neurons, and neuron connections. You can do this by practicing a new skill, reading a book, training (fitness or even professional development), personal development exercises, and a whole host of other activities.

You've heard it said, practice makes perfect. I would disagree. I believe "practice makes permanent" and the neuroscience would seem to support this view. Practicing anything continually stimulates the same area of the brain, strengthening existing neural connections and creating new ones. Over time, we become cognitively efficient, using fewer neurons to do the same job. the more frequently particular mental circuits are used, the more effortless it is to get them fired up again. My dad always taught me, "everything is easy, once you know how." And he's right.

Brain Fitness

Brain fitness is simply the ability of your brain to experience neuroplasticity. Creating additional connections between neurons and promoting new neurons is the result of vigorous mental activity. This translates to a sharper memory, better attention, and overall improvement in cognitive skills.

60 Minutes recently broadcast a story about a Franklin County Mississippi elementary school where the students are learning to play chess. Not only has chess challenged these young people but they have shown significant improvement in their grades and overall outlook of life. They are dreaming bigger and their ambitions are greater than both previous students and parents. One student, Rebekah Griffin, said this: "I feel like chess could take us anywhere. But it’s not about where it takes us, it’s about how far it takes us." This is neuroplasticity at its best. (Read the article here.)

How Coaching Fits In

Coaching changes the trajectory of a person's life by draw...

Running on empty - trying to serve from an empty bucket - compassion fatigue. Helping professionals are often stressed out by doing too much with too little. It is the nature of a server to serve. The problem comes when you have given all you have to give and people still need more.

The Helping Professions

The helping professions include service areas such as pastor, missionary, counselor, therapist, mentor, advocate, hospice care, nurse, doctor, coaching, as well as those caring for family members. For registered nurses or adult children caring for aging parents, compassion fatigue is a reality. Most often, compassion fatigue is in the context of  helping those recently dealing with a trauma. But it also affects anyone who helps others cope and heal, including veterinarians and those helping rescue animals.

Preacher - Teacher - Cop

My Dad taught me what he referred to as the "preacher-teacher-cop syndrome." It is a condition often experienced by those serving in positions of authority who exercise some control over others. Because they are routinely the "man-in-charge," they often take on that role in unrelated contexts. They can attempt to control others and take charge when it is unnecessary. Further, because they are the "authority" in their profession, as well as the "enforcer of rules," they assume that posture outside their profession. This can create problems with others within the group.

Another aspect, specific to the topic of compassion fatigue, is they rarely think they can't handle any situation. Meaning, they are less likely to seek help. In fact, they are often resistant to help. "I can do this," they think to themselves. Even when they consider seeking help, the self-talk is frequently, "What will others think of me?" Their deepest fear is being seen as unable to deal with virtually any situation. This perspective simply increases the stress in an already stress-filled life.

Help is Available

Coaching is a great means for helping the helpers refill, refuel, and refresh. Those serving in the helping professions must also learn practical steps for helping themselves. This episode of DTLC Radio combines practical discussion and steps that will help service professionals serve themselves first. Anyone who has ever flown has heard the instructions for drops in cabin pressure.  "In the unlikely event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down automatically, so be sure to secure your own mask before securing your child’s."

You cannot serve from an empty bucket. You must take care of yourself first or you will be unable to help care for others. This is especially difficult for those who are naturally selfless givers. It must become reality nonetheless. Learning to assess and prioritize daily challenges alongside proper rest, nutrition, and exercise are just a few of the available options.

Probably the greatest tool a caregiver can take advantage of is another professional caregiver who is focuses specifically on caregivers. Ministry places great demands on men and women who have answered the call of God. But in His wisdom, God has also called others to serve the servers.

Click here for information about how coaching can help you reduce and manage stress.

Stressed out! Burnt out! Overwhelmed! Exhausted! Does that describe you or someone you know? If so, you’re in luck, because this episode is about stress management and how coaching can help.

Everyone Is Stressed!

Everyone is stressed. We all experience stress of different degrees and for different reasons. No one is immune to the effects of stress. However, we are likely experiencing greater levels of stress than at any time in human history. Why? Because we no longer make the time to recover, renew, and refresh our minds, bodies, or spirits.

Stress is a necessary part of life. Without it we could not survive. We've all heard the illustrations of butterflies needing to experience the stress of coming out of the cocoon. It helps them build the strength they will need to survive. Jesus' brother, James, tells us in James 1 to consider it joy when we experience stress. It teaches us reliance on God and molds us in Christ's image. It is part of God's plan for your life and that perspective can change everything!

Stress Epidemic

The problem comes when our stress is out of control and fail to maintain a proper life balance. Extreme stress may very well account for 70%-90% of all doctor/hospital visits. It has become an epidemic and people struggle daily to manage the stress in their lives.

Gallup, together with Princeton Research found the following in a recent study:

80% of workers report feeling on-the-job stress

50% say they need help learning to manage stress

75% of employees say they have more on-the-job stress today than they did 10 years ago

26% of all workers report they are often or very often burned out by on-the-job stress

30% say they are either quite a bit or extremely stressed at work every single day

Over 50% say they work 12 or more hours per day

Over 50% skip lunch because of work related stress – they don’t have an appetite

Job stress is more strongly associated with health complaints than financial or family problems.

There are signs of extreme stress that you should definitely pay close attention to, as it can affect you spiritually, physically, emotionally, and cognitively.

Life Is Stressful

Life is stressful. We all know this. Life creates change and change creates stress. The trick is learning to identify it sources and equip ourselves to manage it. This is where a coach can help you develop a strategic action plan to bring your life back into balance. One of the key pieces for success is aligning your behavior with your beliefs. When there is inconsistency - a gap between what you believe and how you act - stress will result. The greater the gap, the greater the stress. Coaching is specifically suited to helping you decrease that gap.

In this episode, I provide you with a tool you can use to help determine your greatest sources of stress. Once identified, you can begin to address them and bring them back into balance.

Fitness

It has been said that without your health, you have nothing, and it's true. Few things in your life are as important as your physical health. The fact is, you cannot and will not reach your full and true potential unless you are physically fit. Apart from your perspective, nothing has as great an impact on your confidence as being in shape. Your personal fitness affects your mood, emotions, thinking, perspective, beliefs, relationships, energy, commitment...nearly every aspect of your life. If you want to change your life, one of the most practical things you can is commit to getting in shape.

Get Your Mind Right

Just like the other areas of your life, getting fit starts with getting your mind right. If you want long term success and life change in the area of fitness, you have to start by changing the words you use. You have to stop using the terms exercise and diet and start using the terms training and nutrition. Why? Because it affects your perspective which in turn affects your commitment.

The connotations of diet and exercise are short term. You "start a diet" so you must plan to "end" your diet. Exercise is something you do when you can fit it in. Training on the other hand, is something that is part of your lifestyle. It is part of your daily routine and something you schedule and schedule around. Nutrition is about fueling your body and eating the right things without depriving yourself of individual cravings. Diets are super-restrictive...nutrition plans are flexible. Exercise is haphazard...training is planned and purposeful. If you don't have your mind focused correctly, your odds of success are greatly diminished.

Benefits Beyond Health

The benefits of getting and staying in shape go well beyond physical health. Your perspective of yourself - the way you see yourself in the mirror, naked - has everything to do with realizing your potential. If you are not confident in yourself or do not think of yourself in the right way, you will never achieve your potential. That said, I'm not talking about a narcissistic, self-righteous view of yourself. Nor am I talking about self-esteem. I am talking about a healthy respect for yourself.

Do you see yourself as a child of God, made in His image, redeemed for His purposes, and confident that you're representing Him with the best version of yourself? If you hate what you see in the mirror, chances are good that you'll struggle to have a good relationship with the Lord. Moreover, you'll lack confidence in Him (and yourself) to be able to make changes. The process of getting and staying in shape helps you move in the direction of the best version of you. Very few things can affect and influence your confidence like personal training and fitness.

Click here to learn more about getting personal coaching to get in shape.

Job Stress at Home

To one degree or another, we all have to deal with job related stress. Even those who serve in their areas of passion and vocation have to deal with job stress. One of the biggest challenges is keeping it from interfering with our home life. We live in a world of paradox. One one hand we have technology at our fingertips promising an easier life. On the other hand we have information overload, we are lonelier than ever, and most are stressed beyond their ability to cope. According to recent studies, job related pressure is American's number one complaint. Nearly 125 million working adults report physical ailments directly related to job pressure. The American Medical Association suggests nearly 90% of doctor visits are stress induced issues.

A Breaking Point

When you have reached the point of declaring, "I just don't care anymore." "I'm done and I just don't care anymore." When you are resentful of your job and those you work with. When you start to break down physically and emotionally, you have reached a breaking point. If something does not change you are going to be in big trouble on a variety of life fronts. You do not have to wait until the situation reaches this point to make significant and lasting changes to live and work, relatively, stress free.

Bringing Job Stress Home

Are you bringing home the pressure of your job? Is your spouse and family bearing the brunt of your negative perspective and angry demeanor? Do they walk on egg shells to keep from upsetting you? In this episode we discuss the warning signs that you may have crossed the line and are unable to keep job tensions from consuming your life. In addition, we offer practical, down-to-earth suggestions that can help relieve some of your stress and protect your family.

Perspective is Everything

The answer to coping with job related angst boils down to your perspective. How you chose to see your job and other people has everything to do with how well you will cope with stress. Small adjustments in your attitude and perspective can have profound results. Not only can you get a grasp of your situation but you can also discover a means for overcoming it. If you are challenged by stress related to your job or you recognize there is no separation between your job and the rest of your life, this podcast can help.

Click here for coaching that can help you navigate through the stress in your life.

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Passion

Passion and vocation (i.e. what you are meant to do with your life) often go hand-in-hand. They are frequently viewed as synonymous - two peas in a pod - though that is not necessarily true. The pressure to know your passion, to pursue it, and to "live your dream life" begins during your teens and often continues through the rest of your life. Some people know what they are passionate about and quickly find a way to live it out. Others, the majority, need to understand that passions are most often discovered through the process of living.

Passion, Perspective, Purpose, Possibilities

Passion and its identification is a cornerstone principle in my coaching. Knowing what you are passionate about helps you determine direction, identify action steps, implement change, and move forward. Your perspective of passion is equally important. I do not believe that every person has one singular passion for which they are responsible to live out. I believe we each have multiple passions and there are myriad ways to live them out. Passions can change, as they are emotions. What you are excited about today may not excite you tomorrow. So how do you identify your passions and maintain that enthusiasm on a day-to-day basis? This is what we discuss in this podcast.

Stagnation

Too often, people get stuck trying to determine "that one singular passion" they have so they can build a life around it. The problem is, you don't create your life first and then live it out. You create your life by living it, not agonizing over it. Every day is a new opportunity to discover what ignites your passion. Really "being alive" is about walking through the doors that open for you and taking advantage of opportunities as you meet them. Waiting around or not making a decision or not taking a particular job for fear that it is not the right one will stagnate you. You won't be stuck because you are on the wrong train going toward the wrong future. You are already stuck because you are waiting for passion to move you. Move without it and allow it to reveal itself to you.

Passion has Power

Understanding that there are right passions and wrong passions is critical to being successful. Passion has the power to change you, to increase your potential, to raise your level of determination,  and to keep you from quitting. But the focus of your passion is important. If you don’t develop the right passions, you will default to the wrong passions. You can learn to be passionate about the right things and the main things and avoid focusing on the wrong things and the minor things. Passion is key to your success but it is not the only key.

Passion for Being

Having a passion for being the the person you have been created to be is foundational to realizing your true potential. Being passionate about who you are and who you are becoming is something you can cultivate every day, regardless of your circumstances. In fact, because of your circumstances, you may have great opportunities to grow in the image of Christ. This will pay dividends far greater than any position you could attain, any amount you could ever earn, and any goal you might ever achieve. Your potential is literally in who you are, not what you can do.

Pursue your passion...allow your passion to pursue you...and go live your potential!

Job, Career, or Vocation?

Which one of those sounds like what you have? Which one sounds like the one you want to have? There is a difference you know. A job is not a career is not a vocation...these words are not synonymous, contrary to popular opinion. Part of what differentiates one from the other is your attitude and perspective toward work in general.

Do You Like To Work?

If you were to ask most people, "work" is a dirty 4-letter word that many are trying to get out of. Statistics show that only about one-third of those in the workforce believe they are in a position that is consistent with their calling...they're doing what they have been called to do. Another third believe they aren't doing what they're called to but have not been willing to a change. Among Millennials, the statistic goes as high as 50% feeling a disconnect between their calling and the current reality of their employment. That makes for a lot of frustrated and resentful people going to work every day. No wonder the work place is not a happy place. Unfortunate.

Can You Have What You Want?

Fortunately, there is an answer to this dilemma. You can have what you want if what you want is a position of significance consistent with your calling. It's called a vocation. Vocare - from which we get the word vocation - is a Latin word meaning "calling." A career is a path that leads to and prepares you for and is consistent with your vocation or calling. A job is usually just a J-O-B, something you get a paycheck for, no more, no less. A job is often just a step up of from a chore, something you did as a kid to get your allowance. Consider how many people you know who have simply settled for a job and can't understand why they aren't moving forward. A job is a building block to get on a career path and ultimately obtain a vocation.

We all have a calling - a vocation ideal for us - that will put us in position to be the most benefit to others while finding the greatest degree of contentment and satisfaction. Your vocation can be in ministry - in fact most people understand the phrase "vocational ministry" - a calling to be a pastor, missionary, or the like. However, your vocation can also be as a doctor, big equipment operator, brick layer, plumber, teacher, lawyer, police officer, architect, nurse, cab driver, or myriad other occupations. If you can think of it, it can be a vocation. It's all based on your gifts, talents, and the way God built you for service. Work is a gift from God and He desires you to work in your giftedness and to enjoy what you do. It's not a sin to like your work. In fact, it's a testimony of the faithfulness of God and His work in your life.

If you're not presently serving in your vocation or you aren't on a career path that will lead you there, then this podcast will be of great benefit for you. Also, if this describes you, check out the available coaching services that can assist in helping you determine your calling. Whether you're experiencing a transition, need to determine your purpose, or need professional development, there's a service that can benefit you and help you move into your vocation.

http://dtlifecoach.com/portfolio-item/unstuck/

Spiritual Development Coaching

Doing an online search for Spiritual Development Coaching will reveal the literal hundreds and thousands of hits for those offering spiritual direction and guidance. Unfortunately, much, if not most, of it is of little to no eternal value, as it is rooted in humanistic mysticism that focuses on supernatural spiritualism that has no foundation in truth or reality. Sadly, many people in the church, where maturity in faith and growing in personal holiness is rooted in truth, also miss the opportunities to experience what God desires for them.

Spirituality Is Foundational For All

Everyone is spiritual! Regardless of your specific faith (e.g. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, etc.), or even if you claim to be an atheist, you have a belief system that undergirds what you believe to be true and how to think and act. Everyone is spiritual and spirituality - your belief system - supports every single aspect and area of your life. Your thoughts and your actions are based squarely on what you believe to be true about yourself, the world, and your place in it. When your beliefs are based on sandy grounds or are rooted in half-truths or untruths, you'll soon see the effects in other areas of your life. Your relationships will struggle, your happiness will be fleeting at best, and you'll always have a sense that something is "off." Christians, too, can find themselves at a spiritual impasse, burnt out on serving, or looking for greener pastures because they're "not being fed here anymore."

Spiritual Development Rooted In Intimacy

Intimacy is at the heart of spiritual development or spiritual formation coaching. Specifically, spiritual coaching is about helping a person explore, develop, and then live out a more intimate relationship with God. To accomplish this, intimacy must be part of a person's life already. They must be intimate - close, aware - with themselves first, before they can be close to God. In His wisdom, God has arranged that our intimacy with Him is often experience through our intimacy with others. We experience a deeper relationship with Him when we also have deep relationships with others in our lives.

Most of the traditional means of developing spiritual maturity - spiritual disciplines, discipleship, mentoring - take an "outside-in" approach. Meaning, information is presented from an outside source and is then digested and attempted to be lived out. Coaching takes an opposite approach. Choosing instead to "draw out" what a person already knows about themselves and situation they are presently in to discern a path of direction that is specific to them. The Holy Spirit plays a pivotal role in this process, both in helping to develop questions posed by the coach but also in helping the client discern their own answers.

Six Stages of Faith Maturity

James Fowler and Janet Hagberg have indentified six prominent and consistent stages of faith development or maturity. Sadly, 75% of Christians will stagnate in or around stage 3, never experiencing greater depths of growth. Coaching engages clients who are typically hitting the wall of stage 3 and helps draw them up through stage 4 and into stage 5, on their way to a truly transformed life.

Anxiety, fear, stress, worry, good old fashioned frettin'...whatever you want to call it, it gets in the way and hinders your progress and growth. Chances are good, if you want to be a leader or get promoted at work, this will keep it from happening. If you want to move forward, anxiety and fear of the future will impede your progress and leave you frustrated and angry.

Possible Epidemic

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, anxiety is the most common mental affliction in the United States, affecting nearly 20% of the population – 40 million people. As a doctor of pastoral counseling psychology, I can tell you that that statistic is likely pretty conservative and may be much higher. We all know someone or its we ourselves who struggles with anxiety. Not the occasional worry but the chronic fretting that impedes nearly everything we do. Even when it's more isolated it can still be a real challenge to move past.

What's at the Root?

The root problem is fear. Anxiety is emotion-centric and caused by fear of the future and more specifically, what we can or cannot control about it. It is not depression, although it can lead to depression. In the podcast, I draw clear distinctions between the two. Because anxiety is rooted in your emotions, it is caused by your thinking, which is directly connected to what you believe. As you listen, you will learn the importance of knowing what you believe and why you believe it.

There are two fundamental perspectives to consider when dealing with anxiety and worry: the world's view and the biblical view. The truth you place your trust in affects how you think, which determines your actions and helps determine your emotions. The world tends to get emotions ahead of thinking, allowing and encouraging your thinking to be dictated by how you feel. That's a problem.

How to Kill it!

Understanding how you cognitively process beliefs, faith, thinking, actions, and emotions is a key component to getting the upper hand and putting down anxiety. There are very subtle differences between the world's perspective and a biblical perspective that make this all the more important to understand. Realize that anxiety is a reaction and your reactions are based on learned behaviors. What that means is you can shift out of an anxious existence by being proactive instead of reactive. You can take the initiative and change your current reality by being intentional about what you believe and how you behave. Your attitude and your actions – you totally control – and you can decide to act in moving forward instead of waiting for life to happen to you. Secondly, since reactions are learned, they can be unlearned. You can change – you can grow – you decide – you can be taught – you can study – you can learn. You have the potential to transform your life.

Perfectionism and Procrastination

Procrastination - the deadly and dirty 15-letter word. Why do we put things off we know we need to get done? What if you're issue isn't really with not starting or completing things, it's more of an issue of having to do them perfectly? This is what happens when your perfectionism results in procrastination. It’s been said that perfectionism is the mother of procrastination.

Perfectionism is a self-imposed disposition that anything you do has to be done perfectly, just right, the best way possible. It strikes at first-borns and Type A personality types most often. The idea that no matter what you do, you have to be the best at it or at the very least, it has to be the best you can do.

While there are aspects of paying attention to the details and always doing your best that are admirable and should be emulated, it often creates a problem when it dominates your approach to life. Case in point, when you fail to start or finish a project because "things just aren't right." And just about anything can get in the way. For this video, I put off taping it because I needed a hair cut, I didn't like the way I looked, I didn't like the sound quality, the light was too harsh, it was too hot, I couldn't articulate and speak clear enough, and on, and on it went.

Questions to Help You Identify Whether You Struggle with Perfectionism

Do you ever struggle with the idea that you have to be the best at everything you do?

Do feel the need to always be control?

Are your expectations of yourself super at work and at home?

Do you find that nearly everyone in your life - friends, family, and coworkers - fail to meet your standards on a regular basis?

Would others say that "being flexible" accurately describes you?

Do you feel more loved and appreciated based on your performance?

These are just a few of the questions that can help you determine if you suffer from perfectionistic-procrastinationism (like that? I just made it up!)

7 Tips to Overcoming Perfectionism and Procrastination

So, what can be done about it? Here are 7 tips on how to overcome perfectionism, procrastination, and always stopping before you're finished.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who are prettier, healthier, more handsome, in better shape, smarter, more articulate, and better period than you and I. Thank God for His grace in accepting me as I am and loving me enough not to leave there. What you don't see now is all the work and effort that went in to getting those folks where they are and how you see them presently. Focus on being the best you - at this point in time - that you can be.

Compare yourself to other people? Wait...say what?! Didn't you just say to stop doing that? Yes, I did. But now, don't look at where your role models or examples are now, take a look at where they once were. If they have a YouTube channel and are successful now, go back and watch their early versions and episodes. They will the first to tell you how dreadful some of them are. They had to work at their craft and grow in the comfortableness with themselves, how they look, their voice, mannerisms, etc. Look at how they have grown and developed over time. You can do the same thing...over time. The more you do the more you'll learn and the better you'll become. Practice endurance and perseverance...patience when necessary.

Take the time to determine you personality type. Whether you're a Type A personality or not, knowing how God wired you will help you immensely. Knowing your tendencies, why you do what you do the way you do it, and how it affects/interacts with others will help you know when to go with your strengths and when to back off a bit. It will also you identify where you excel and how to best motivate yourself forward.