This week's show is with Dr Stephen Snyder, a sex and couples therapist, psychiatrist, and writer, and author of Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship. He is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mt. Sinai in New York City, and chairman of the Consumer Book Award Committee for the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR). He has treated patients at his practice for 25 years, is a guest on major media outlets nationwide, and writes for Psychology Today and Huffington Post. He lives with his wife and children in New York City.

In this conversation, we spoke about understanding how we got to where we are today where so many people are having bad sex, what good sex is, and how can we let ourselves have it. I suspect it's much easier than you might think.

What you'll learn from this episode:

• Good sex is about feeling 'dumb and happy'. A similar way of experiencing the world to when we were babies who could just relax and enjoy sensations without feeling responsible for creating them.
• As a culture we're not cool with men having pleasure. Women are seen attractive on based on being whereas men are seen as attractive based on what they're doing. Be relaxed about these expectations and have a sense of humour about them. Be open about what you would like and what would give you pleasure.
• Finally, we're designed for around the year sexual attraction and sex. As Dr Snyder said "We're the sexiest species on the planet!" I think that understanding that about ourselves allows us to be lighter and more playful about something that we probably going to spend a lot of time thinking about and doing!