Dumb Ass Bros

Awww yisss. Dan be goin HAM, shawty upgrade from bologna. Deges was high as shit, Brian was fully autistic, aye bruh you know what it is, we're the 2 dickheads handing out military grade secrets and talkin bout pussy. Big up da bois in gooole Hat Riot for sliding the intro, Young KP came with tha bangerzzzz. Peep the Insta @DumbAssBros_Pod we be 18 dummy thicc and stupid close to that 100 follower goal, fuxx witcha bois for da merch giveaways. 

Hello. Dan was fairly intoxicated, madam find a better man. Deges was elevated, Brian is a simpleton, we believe you to be familiar with the dichotomy of the show, we are peripherally related to military services and are also heterosexual. Thank you to our musically inclined friends in the thrash metal band named Hatriot for creating and supplying our new introduction music, a younger gentleman by the initials of K followed by a P delivered us a short song clip or "track" that we have come to appreciate. Please type in "www." followed by "instagram." followed by "com", then "/DumbAssBros_Pod" and click on the follow button because we are increasingly close to a milestone of 100 followers, which will result in us paying our money for someone else to get a shirt (Dan's idea). 

idk man if you know us you know I don't do social media stuff, and also that Dan is ghey. 

THIS PODCAST HAS BEEN ABSORBED BY THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX. THE DUMB ASS BROS ARE NOW PROPERTY OF THE UNITED STATES MILITARY. THEY NEVER SOLD OUT. THEY WERE PURCHASED FOR THREE CHICKEN POT PIES AND A SMALL BAG OF WEED.    

Nah but like on the real Brian now works with Dan in a sick ass shipyard, and they talk about how they're gonna sell military secrets to China (so we take this big bar of steel, and then we cut it, and then we bend it, and now it ship, sail cross seas and deliver brownies). Anyways sorry 4 da wait y'all, I've been dead as hell, my feet hurt. Also Dan is no longer gay, he is now non-binary, so his actions are both gay, not gay and undetermined. Enjoy!

ngl it's hella crypto talk and then we remember what it was like to smoke weed as kids. 

Oh shit, big get big get! This week the Chicken Pot Pie Guys had a friendly visit from the homies Nick Souza and Kevin Paterson, from the bay area #based thrash metal band Hatriot! They told us about what it's like to tour in Europe, what a band really has to do to survive in a normal music scene, and how they've managed not only to adapt but THRIVE in the pandemic. If you're looking for hustle, these dudes have it in abundance. Great friggin time bois, we wish y'all nothing but the best.   

You can check them out at  

twitch.tv/cody_hatriot for live concerts straight to your computer 

twitch.tv/kevin_hatriot for fun times with Kevin 

twitch.tv/sicknouza for fun times with Nick   

Peep em on the gram at  

@hatriot_official  

@kevin_hatriot  

@sicknouza   

Check out some sick new merch at  

hatriot.bigcartel.com    

And stay tuned for the new album "Vale of Shadows", available soon!     

As always fucc with the Bros at @DumbAssBros_Pod on instagram, and check us out at Patreon.com/DumbAssBros_Pod on Patreon, and make sure you do unspeakable things to that mf bell for notifications on YouTube

Dan gets laid, Brian get paid. Which camp would you rather be, Danny Limp Dick or Brian Big Bags? Let us know on Instagram @DumbAssBros_Pod 

P.S. Dan is lame

Dan and I somehow finessed (not really) 3 free sandwiches from our local spot. What a great way to start the day! Also everyone wish Brian a happy birthday because he is, contrary to popular belief, dee-pressed. Head on over to @DumbAssBros_Pod on Instagram and tell him to stop being a little bitch. Enjoy!

This is the hard hitting journalism you come to the Dumb Ass Bros for. In this episode, we discuss the top 5 road trip snacks. Enjoy!

Awww shit boys and girls, tie your man bun back and go grab your mom's oven mitts cuz we got a hot one this week! In this episode, Dan and Brian go over what will become our favorite recurring segment, UnpOps (that's Unpopular Opinions if you somehow read this before the title). I know I say this every week, but man oh man this is a good one. The Dumb Ass Bros age like fine wine baby boi. Enjoy! 

Have you ever wondered what you would do with a million dollars? Maybe you bought Doge like Brian's dumbass, or maybe you just make smart investments. Either way, in this episode we discuss what we would spend a million dollars on. If you have any better ideas, let us know at instagram.com/DumbAssBros_Pod and if we get any good ones we will debut them on the next episode. Enjoy! 

This week the bois are joined by a long time friend, who came to talk sports. Specifically, how we're gonna make some money off of them. He's a software salesman, a previous fat dude, and a man who somehow mucks up our audio whenever he's on (jk, Brian is a DumbAss). Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you...Brad Friedman.