It might sound like it's just Carolyn and Melody on this haunting episode, but there's totally a ghost there. You just have to have "a gift" to hear it. Don't believe us? Then how else would you explain the unfortunate series of events that led to us having to can an awesome interview with one of our favorite comedians? Bad audio? Not on our watch 2020! (Okay...maybe on our watch...). We're dyking out about our favorite holiday, what makes it queer, and how we like to celebrate it. Plus, you'll get the play-by-play of the Zoom Halloween party that Melody and Ali threw. And if that's not enough, we spill all the stinkin' details of our first official podcast co-host reunion since March. Finally, we give boo-tiful advice to a listener who is pining over their pandemic crush.

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We hope you're expecting a lot of laughs this episode, because we plan to deliver. Comedian Mo Welch (Blair, Conan) joins us to dyke out about her journey to making a baby! Come for the conversation around what it's like to be gay while trying to get pregnant, and stay for the crazy story of Mo's first trip to NYC with one Ali Clayton. It involves Cubby Hole, Ricki Lake, and so much more. But back to the baby thing... How do lesbians get sperm? How do you decide who carries? Does realizing your gay affect your desire to have children? Plus, we give our official U-Hauloween recap, and Melody talks about a traumatic massage that was anything but (or BUTT?) relaxing. Finally, we end with a question from a listener who is worried that the woman they're seeing might have a much higher sex drive.

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No trick and all treat, author emily m. danforth (Plain Bad Heroines, The Miseducation of Cameron Post) joins us this week to dyke out about all things sapphic and spooky. Why do "final girls" code as queer? Are queers more drawn to the horror genre in their youth? What scares us the most? Why is Melody so afraid of bees???? Plus, Emily gives us the scoop on her latest novel full of gothic mischief and oh-so-gay. We also talk about our costumes from U-Hauloween and learn more about how Ali's mom tries to be an Ali. Finally, we end with a question from a listener who is frustrated by her dating life after moving to a more urban area.

Here's a partial list of movies and books referenced in this conversation:

Scream

Halloween

Watcher in the woods

The Town that Dreaded Sundown

It

Halloween

The Haunting of Hill House

The Haunting of Bly Manor

Annihilation

Jennifer's Body

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir,

Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado

A Line In The Dar by Melinda Lowes

The Return by Rachel Harrison

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We say love is love, but how much do we really know about love? Youtuber Amy Ordman and her Dating Straight podcast co-host Jack Dodge join us to dyke about that thing that makes existing in this world a little sweeter. Is there a shared understanding of love? How do you know if you are in love? Is it weird to not want to be in love? Is being in love worth the pain that comes with it? We rack our brains trying to answer these questions and more. Plus, Melody takes a trip to Lake Desolation and lives to tell us about it. And, Carolyn makes a dyketastic discovery about the house she's trying to buy. Finally, we end with a question from a listener who expected more from her first intimate experiences with another woman.

Get your tickets to U-Hauloween before they sell out!

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Have you ever gotten back together with an ex after breaking up? If so, then you'll relate to Comedian Samantha Ruddy (Full Frontal with Samantha Bee) who joins us to dyke out about her experience with dating her ex! We're here, we're queer, and our breakups are messy. Sometimes, they don't even feel like a real breakup. Sometimes, you still sleep in the same bed. So how do you navigate giving things another chance with someone who has broken your heart? Is it possible to forgive and forget? Can time apart help you come together stronger? Only time (and a shit ton of emotionally vulnerable conversations) can tell! Plus, we talk about why we'd rather be in New Zealand, an unconventional mask wearing policy, and proper maintenance of our "tools of the trade." Finally, we end with a question about a fiancée who is dragging her feet on wedding planning.

Do you have a voting plan?

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We beg your pardon, express our deepest regrets, and hope you can forgive us for this week's episode. Comedian and writer Tien Tran (Work In Progress) thought long an hard about it, and ultimately decided to come forward and dyke out about apologies. Apologies in general and specific ones *cough* ELLEN *cough.* Why do most apologies fall short? Do women apologize too much or are we just displaying empathy? Is there too much apologizing in same-sex relationships? Should you apologize for this shitty things you did in high school if those days are long behind you? Also, Tien shares a story about an UNFORGIVABLE thing her sister did in the past, and Melody gives Carolyn ideas on how to gay up her yogurt game. Finally, we end with a listener question about what to do with sex toys when a relationship ends. Do you forgive us?

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What does Dame Judy Dench have to do with queer shame? Actor and writer Lisa Haas (Wild Nights with Emily) joins us to get to the bottom of the shame we feel around our queer identities. While we're filled with gay pride, they're no denying that shame plays a big role in shaping our feelings around sexuality as we grow up. And perhaps even to this day! We reflect on our early memories of feeling shame and bully Melody into searching her repressed feelings to relate. Plus, we give our thoughts on Ratched and talk about our respectively terrible weeks. Lastly, we end on a question from a listener who is unhappy with her therapist.

The Legacy of Audre Lorde - piece mentioned in the episode

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Political correctness can be a great thing when it comes to treating people with respect and dignity, but can it go to far? Comedy legend Judy Gold joins us to talk about how PC Culture has been weaponized against comedians, and why that hurts us all. Judy unleashes her frustration about the current state of the country, and rightfully so. But more importantly, she points out the hypocrisy in the standards at which we hold comedians to, when our leaders do far worse with little to no consequences. We discuss her latest book, Yes, I Can Say That, which dives into the role of comedians as truth tellers, the history of pushing the envelope, and why people get upset when they toe or cross the line. Plus, we talk about IRL interactions with listeners, a new, hot celesbian pairing, and what Monica Lewinsky's choice of car says about her sexuality. Finally, we end with a question from a listener who is worried about her sexual inexperience with women.

If you want to hear Carolyn and Melody dive in deeper on this topic, make sure you join our Patreon, where you'll find a bonus episode filled with their most offensive jokes, She-Ra drama, angry listener comments, and more!

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We're going outside the binary this week to discuss an identity that an increasing number of folks in the LGBTQ+ community are embracing. Comedian and performance artist Gara Lonning (We're Having Gay Sex) joins us to explain to Carolyn's mom (sort of) what it means to be non-binary. We dyke out about common misconceptions and the intersection with trans identity. Also, how do you talk to family about it? What should you do if you accidentally misgender someone? And, why should you never ask an enby friend for a "pass?" Plus, we introduce a political conspiracy theory that is probably, totally true, and Gara reveals their true thoughts on the term "nibling." And while we're able to have an interesting and fun conversation about gender amongst cis and trans-identifying dykes, we expose an area with a much larger gap in common ground: Gen-Z vs Millennial celebrity cultural references. Finally, we end on a listener question about how to handle homophobic comments in the workplace.

-Want to hear more from our chat with Gara? Get extra content, support the pod and get to know other listeners by joining our Patreon community. We use the money for equipment, studio rentals, editing, mixing, travel for live shows (when those are a thing again), and more! If you can't support the pod on a monthly basis, please consider tipping us through Paypal. We truly appreciate it!

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Get your workbooks out and agendas ready because this week, we're dyking out with comedian Cara Connors (Just For Laughs, E!) about her gay immersion! How does one go from being married to a man to indulging in a gay Rumspringa? Pretty seamlessly, actually. Aside from dating as many women as humanly possible, what else do you do when you're first coming out of the closet to familiarize yourself with queer culture? What if you've always been immersed in gayness and just didn't realize it? Before we dive into the topic, we talk about the Annomite trailer, but only because it's our contractual obligation. Also, Carolyn shows off her talent for guessing exactly the kind of car you buy based on your queer vibe. Finally, we end with a listener question about deflecting rude questions from neighbors. Please note, if you're a Pisces who has a problem with the things said in this episode, please take it up directly with Cara. (Sorry Cara!)

-Support the pod and get to know other listeners by joining our Patreon community. We use the money for equipment, studio rentals, editing, mixing, travel for live shows (when those are a thing again), and more! If you can't support the pod on a monthly basis, please consider tipping us through Paypal. We truly appreciate it!

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