Easy Prey

Transparency in a family builds trust, but sharing information while gaming online can set you up for unnecessary risks. Your children may be sharing details that can impact not just them, but you.

Today's guest is Eric Jones. Eric is an experienced product manager and developer with over 20 years experience and more than 9 years in Agile Software Development. He is the founder and creator of All Knowing Parent focused on educating people on all avenues of technology and hardware.

• [0:50] - Eric shares what he does as a career and about his startup.
• [2:27] - As a father of two young girls, Eric is adamant about monitoring technology use.
• [3:50] - Eric is a big believer in transparency.
• [5:40] - Gaming is not just a casual hobby anymore.
• [7:01] - On all gaming consoles there is some sort of communication with other players online available both as text and voice.
• [9:10] - On some platforms, you have to be "friends" with someone to play together. Some games do a better job than others on safety.
• [10:15] - Eric talks daily to his children about safety in gaming. These conversations started before they were even playing it.
• [12:03] - Setting rules ahead of time is important to avoid cleaning up a mess.
• [13:23] - Kids tend to give out so much information easily.
• [14:48] - What are the pieces of information that you should make sure are kept private? Eric says everything.
• [17:01] - Even giving out gamer handles from other consoles shouldn't be shared.
• [18:28] - Consoles protect your IP address better but gaming on servers do not.
• [20:25] - Almost everything these days is connected to the internet. Unfortunately, a lot of pressure is put on the user.
• [22:18] - When you're playing online, you don't see the type of people you play with through a username. Eric explains what swatting is.
• [23:20] - People can also raid a streamer's channel with obscenities and can piece together information through social engineering.
• [25:03] - Don't assume someone doesn't want your information. They may hack you simply as a launching off point to something else.
• [26:41] - Referring to a previous episode, everything connected to the internet can slowly give away pieces of information.
• [28:16] - Social engineering is not as hard as you might think in online gaming just by watching how you play.
• [30:57] - Children trust first and as adults, we've learned to trust second.
• [31:54] - A gaming company's priority is not user safety.
• [33:16] - If playing with people you don't know, be extremely kind and avoid topics like politics and religion.
• [35:21] - DDoS attacks are less common these days but can still happen.
• [39:11] - Unfortunately, if a kid really wants something, they will be motivated to get around things you have in place to keep them safe.
• [39:45] - Eric describes how and why he founded All Knowing Parent.
• [41:14] - Eric's goal is to educate and be a support for people to better understand the technology in their life.
• [43:12] - There are no cookie-cutter answers. Eric helps people with each question as they arise and gives an example of a recent customer question.
• [44:10] - All Knowing Parent is offering discounts for Easy Prey listeners! Check that out at AllKnowingParent.com/EasyPrey

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We all have limited resources when it comes to time, money, and energy so in a world where people can create fake personas online, how can you be a part of a community that weeds out imposters?

Today's guest is Ken Rutkowski. Ken is a business talk radio personality, innovative strategist, international speaker, and the founder of Metal International. Ken has done government consultation for thirteen different countries and collaborations with Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, Surf Air, Motorola, AT&T, and numerous others. He's been featured on Good Morning America, Oprah, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg, The Chicago Tribune, Miami-Herald, Forbes and many other networks and publications around the world.

• [1:00] - Welcome to the show, Ken! Ken shares his background and why he was led to his career in radio.
• [2:01] - Ken is one of the early developers of podcasts.
• [3:17] - When he moved to Los Angeles, he realized that many people he met were imposters.
• [4:48] - Ken shares that his image has been used to catfish women online.
• [5:59] - Most people are on Facebook and some sort of photo platform like Instagram. Ken explains why he has a LinkedIn.
• [6:43] - It's advised to search an image to find the history of it and Ken shares a useful AI tool.
• [8:01] - Chris predominantly uses video to chat with people and explains why.
• [10:03] - Go beyond the conversation of business.
• [11:31] - Ken demonstrates the pyramid of friendship and how you can determine a stable relationship.
• [13:05] - When talking to others online, Ken looks for specific types of people.
• [15:08] - How can you tell the difference between a $30,000 millionaire from a legitimate millionaire?
• [16:10] - Remove time-sensitivity.
• [18:12] - The pyramid of friends and relationships is important to keep in mind when determining the legitimacy of someone's online persona.
• [20:23] - There are specific types of relationships that determine your circle of trust.
• [21:14] - Because many people spend so much time on Facebook, people are spending time in the "friend and acquaintance zones."
• [23:28] - To keep up with your circle of trust in a digital world, Ken recommends WhatsApp groups.
• [25:01] - In virtual events, Ken has two banned topics: religion and politics.
• [26:43] - Genuine community protects you.
• [29:11] - Everyone should create their own social circle and then fire those who are complicating things.
• [30:41] - Ken describes a trust token program he is working on.
• [32:14] - Ken and Chris have a mutual friend and he demonstrates how he used social engineering to vet the legitimacy of Chris's relationship with him.
• [34:01] - Ken's online community began as an in-person community. He curates who his members are.
• [36:49] - What are the rules of Ken's community?
• [38:40] - It is not just your money that is vulnerable to scammers, but your time and energy.

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Some organizations may use misleading language or pressure you as they solicit for a donation and this can cause distrust. Research is needed to make sure your money is going to the charity of choice and not a predator preying on your emotions.

Today's guest is Laurie Styron. Laurie was appointed the Executive Director of CharityWatch, American Institute of Philanthropy in 2020. She served as CharityWatch's Senior Analyst for 16 years and thereafter as a Program Consultant through her nonprofit accounting and consulting practice. Laurie has been quoted in The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, The Wall Street Journal, NBC Nightly News, and by many other media outlets. She has also vetted charities for Good Morning America and has worked with 60 Minutes and many other news organizations on charity related investigations.

• [1:53] - Laurie shares how she started with CharityWatch and why she was drawn to working in a nonprofit.
• [3:31] - The founder of CharityWatch realized people were not making fact based decisions around donating to charities.
• [5:04] - There has been some effort to regulate and enforce how donations are used.
• [6:14] - Niche and very specific causes are harder to raise money for.
• [8:14] - The funding for regulators is insufficient for them to adequately oversee.
• [9:40] - Laurie explains how to vet a charity on CharityWatch and gives an example of how organizations are ranked on the site.
• [11:50] - Sometimes organizations will use donations as their funds to continue marketing for more donations which causes an ineffective cycle.
• [14:06] - A lot of donors get really focused on the salaries of charity executives.
• [15:05] - It is actually a red flag if board officers are not paid enough.
• [18:17] - There are not enough people in the United States with a masters degree that could work for a low salary.
• [20:46] - Going into the season of giving, avoid high pressure tactics.
• [22:12] - A lot of fundraisers have expert scripts that are designed to pressure you. Laurie gives tips on how to say no.
• [25:01] - Laurie gives advice on how to use your emotions to choose a charity for a cause you are passionate about.
• [26:33] - Laurie tells the story of a crowdfunding scam that was well intentioned but the money raised was not done by someone who could execute the result.
• [28:41] - She shares another story of fake campaigns on GoFundMe as copycats.
• [30:22] - You have the ability to check filings, tax information, and registrations for organizations. Crowdfunding sites do not vet their account holders.
• [32:36] - Cut out the middleman. Donate directly.
• [34:02] - It is advised to only donate on crowdfunding sites to those you know.
• [35:04] - It is not logical for a charity to use 100% of all donations on the cause.
• [37:24] - Laurie describes how charities are rated on a grade scale on CharityWatch's website.
• [38:35] - There are other sites that rate and rank charities but not all are reliable.
• [40:57] - When you are doing your research, ask yourself what the site's process is.
• [43:00] - Sometimes, third party platforms will hold on to the money for longer than necessary and Laurie says to donate directly.
• [45:47] - If you send small donations across multiple charities, your donations will be much smaller due to fees.
• [49:42] - Make that little bit of research you do before you donate part of your giving.

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With the sense of anonymity, people often post false claims, lies, and private information that can impact a person's livelihood. Illegal content such as copyright infringement, invasion of privacy, and defamation are on the rise on the internet. But there is something to be done about it.

Today's guest is Kenton Hutcherson. Kenton is an attorney and owner of Hutcherson Law. He and his team focus on a very specific niche of law: helping people, professionals, and businesses who have been attacked on the internet.

• [1:11] - Kenton explains the three types of cases he works with - internet defamation, copyright infringement, and invasion of privacy.
• [2:20] - Kenton shares his background and journey as an educator and lawyer.
• [4:15] - The pandemic in particular caused a lot of interesting problems that Kenton has worked to solve.
• [5:36] - Defamation encompasses libel and slander. Kenton explains the difference.
• [7:00] - Written posts on the internet can harm people many years later.
• [8:27] - When does it make sense to see a lawyer for internet defamation?
• [9:50] - Is the damage being caused worth the cost of a lawyer? Kenton describes the clients that usually merit hiring a lawyer.
• [11:57] - Sometimes a bad situation is to cut your losses and move on.
• [13:20] - You want a better life, not a better lawsuit. Be a kind and respectful person.
• [14:46] - Extortion by defamation is unfortunately common by consumers.
• [15:43] - Not all reviews are true and accurate.
• [16:56] - The Communications Decency Act has created safety for review sites themselves because it is user generated content.
• [18:53] - Google has stepped in and will remove some sites and reviews from searches when review sites refuse to take down a false review.
• [20:50] - Kenton has worked with Yelp previously. He shares Yelp's policy for defamation.
• [23:01] - Sometimes people will use throw away accounts that they can't access again in order to change their review or post.
• [24:01] - You can also hire a reputation manager who can help bury negative false claims.
• [25:01] - Kenton shares an example of a case and client he has had.
• [29:03] - The case Kenton shares demonstrates how people can truly destroy a business.
• [31:12] - In this case, the convict broke out of prison. He did not stop pursuing Kenton's client.
• [32:55] - Kenton's team contacts Google, Yahoo, Bing, and other search engines to take down posts and reviews for their clients.
• [34:09] - Simply express your opinion. Do not post false assertions of facts.
• [35:50] - For both sides, a lawsuit can damage their lives.
• [36:32] - If you are sued, you cannot discharge this with bankruptcy.
• [39:05] - Defamation is approached a bit differently if it is a competitor.
• [40:08] - Kenton describes how an internet lawyer unmasks defamation.
• [41:56] - You need to have enough materials and content to analyze.

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Safety in public spaces can be complex. There are things that you can do to be prepared and alert in all situations. Techniques can be used to distract someone long enough to escape, no matter the size of the attacker.

Today's guest is Lieutenant Jessa Russell. Lieutenant Russell serves as the Community Relations Officer for Highland Park Department of Public Safety. In this role, she assists with crime prevention, safety education presentations, crime watch, community welfare concerns, and is the liaison to the Highland Park ISD. Lieutenant Russell began her career with Highland Park DPS in August 2008 and has served as a field training officer, defense tactics instructor, and operations supervisor.

• [1:01] - Welcome to the podcast, Lieutenant Russell! Jessa explains how she got into law enforcement.
• [3:40] - Every department has different norms. Jessa describes the more common problems her department responds to.
• [5:10] - What is jugging? Jessa describes this crime and what to do to avoid it.
• [7:06] - There are more fire stations than police stations and if you are being followed, pulling into a fire station could cause them to stop.
• [9:01] - Always be skeptical. The world is a good place but there are bad people in it.
• [11:12] - Restaurants and bars are places to have a heightened situational awareness.
• [13:14] - If you are on a walk or run, only use one earbud.
• [14:51] - You have to be assertive. Political correctness will hamper you when safety is a concern.
• [16:30] - Park close to lights and the closer to the store the better. You can also request security officers or employees to escort you to the car.
• [17:49] - There are different mindsets regarding an attack.
• [19:12] - RAD is a program that Jessa educates through. It stands for Rape Aggression Defense. She explains the program and the training involved.
• [20:58] - Some women are taught to be so submissive that they don't realize they have power, which can simply be your voice.
• [21:54] - Training does not mean you are a fighter. The techniques are designed to escape.
• [24:20] - Most attackers are known to the victims, but random attacks can happen as well.
• [25:28] - Assertively yelling "stay away" instead of screaming for help will catch someone's attention more.
• [26:33] - Chris shares a story to demonstrate how bystanders may not know if the situation is serious.
• [28:47] - Jessa gives tips on how to help someone in danger.
• [29:50] - Noticing clothes is great, but noticing shoes is even better.
• [31:00] - Jessa explains what is important to note in describing an attacker.
• [34:18] - Remembering the first few characters of a license plate is often enough to help. Remembering all is very challenging.
• [36:50] - You need to know what to do if you are ever pulled over.
• [39:43] - If someone is trying to rape you and you are not fighting back, you are not at fault at all.
• [41:24] - Every department has a victim liaison.
• [43:18] - Don't be afraid to report something and work with the police.
• [44:40] - Always lock doors and keep valuables in the house.
• [47:41] - Jessa discusses carrying a gun and the importance of knowing how to properly use it if you want to have it.

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For most people, figuring out how our credit score is calculated is a black box. Learning what impacts your credit score gives you flexibility to change it. Here are twenty ways you are ruining your credit.

Today's guest is Steve Snyder. Steve is an author, speaker, and one of the top personal finance commentators in the country trained by the Fair Isaac Corporation, the firm that created the score that credit reporting agencies use to calculate a consumer's credit worthiness. FICO Score is widely recognized as the industry standard for lenders. Steve has been quoted in the US News World Report, The Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, The Washington Post, and many others.

• [1:03] - Welcome to the podcast, Steve! Steve describes what he does in his career and what got him interested.
• [2:43] - Steve recovered from bankruptcy in less than eight months and realized that most people have no idea how to manage their credit.
• [3:34] - The biggest mistake is not knowing that you have three credit scores.
• [4:50] - The three scoring companies from Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.
• [5:41] - Not all lenders report to your credit reports which is why scores can be different.
• [8:05] - There's a system in place to correct things that are wrong with the large scoring companies.
• [9:01] - Most people purchase the wrong scores. Most of the scores you are bombarded with online are fake.
• [10:43] - Steve explains why the vantage score was created and why your FICO score is more important.
• [12:01] - Debts going to collections, late payments, judgments, liens, bankruptcies, high utilization, negatively impact your credit.
• [13:51] - Steve explains how shopping for cars and mortgages shows up as multiple inquiries on your credit.
• [15:50] - Most people don't realize that they have a utilization sweet spot.
• [17:05] - No utilization can be bad for your credit score as well. You can have too much or too little.
• [19:01] - Having a credit card is the first step. Using it is the second.
• [21:45] - Your credit history goes back longer than just recent months and years.
• [23:35] - You never want to randomly close credit accounts even if it is an unused card that you've had for a long time.
• [24:40] - Never fight about your credit on your credit reports. If you have an issue, take it to small claims court.
• [27:41] - Most people do not understand how credit works because we are not prepared early in life.
• [29:21] - Steve is not going to ever risk his perfect credit scores by co-signing anything even with his own children.
• [32:00] - Co-signing student loans can be detrimental.
• [34:11] - It is wise to freeze your children's credit until they are ready to use it.
• [35:26] - Steve explains the meaning of "thickening a thin credit file."
• [37:46] - People think that because they make a lot of money that money will take care of everything else.
• [39:25] - Allowing collections to show on your credit is a huge mistake but is easily rectified.
• [40:51] - Steve explains the difference between a charge off and a settlement.
• [42:00] - Too many credit inquiries lowers your score but will also "spook lenders."
• [43:16] - You could be paying off the wrong things. Your credit score is heavily weighted on your personal credit balance.
• [45:01] - Business and personal finances should be separate.
• [46:55] - No interest business credit cards are a great way to get started, but you have to be disciplined with a real business idea.
• [49:25] - The best time to apply for credit is when you don't need it. Don't wait for the emergency.

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There are methods used to influence us to either buy or do something. We may even be persuaded to participate and only later on wonder how they got us to join. It is beneficial to know these seven principles that compel us to react.

Today's guest is Dr. Robert Cialdini. Dr. Cialdini is an author and keynote speaker as a leading expert on influence and persuasion. His books are published in 44 different languages and have sold over 7 million copies. He's a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today best-selling author. He's also been elected to membership in the National Academy of Sciences.

• [1:10] - Dr. Cialdini got into this field because he was easily persuaded in the past.
• [3:05] - Incognito, Dr. Cialdini answered as many ads and training programs he could get into to see how advertisers convinced people to buy.
• [4:40] - In his research, he found that there are seven principles to persuasion.
• [5:44] - The first principle is the principle of reciprocation. This is present in every culture.
• [6:57] - First someone gives you something and then you feel obligated to give back.
• [9:03] - Chris shares an experience at a restaurant to receive something for free that actually required him to do something first.
• [11:37] - Is something genuinely giving you something or trapping you into compliance?
• [12:19] - The second principle is the principle of "liking." You will be influenced more by those who you like.
• [13:48] - One way to get people to like us is to give them something which ties right into the principle of reciprocity.
• [16:12] - Step back from the situation and separate the salesperson from what he or she is offering.
• [17:18] - The next principle is the principle of social proof. If a lot of people are choosing or favoring something, it seems like something you should do, too.
• [18:28] - We recognize when there are fake reviews. 5 star reviews generally make us skeptical.
• [21:04] - Dr. Cialdini describes a study done in McDonald's that boosted sales of one menu item by 40%.
• [24:48] - The next principle is similar to social proof and decreases someone's uncertainty. It is the principle of authority.
• [25:58] - The problem with assuming someone is an expert is the appearance of actors and influencers being paid to promote.
• [27:34] - Ask yourself, "Is this person an authority on the topic at hand?"
• [28:32] - Also ask if the person is being unbiased in their testimonial.
• [30:19] - The next principle is the principle of consistency.
• [32:01] - Dr. Cialdini shares why he no longer signs petitions. The pressure to be consistent can motivate us to do things we don't want to do.
• [35:28] - Sometimes sales sites will list an item or booking that there are only two left at this price and list a number of people also looking at the listing.
• [37:38] - We don't know all the time if something is legit.
• [39:55] - Dr. Cialdini added a seventh principle to his book called the principle of community.
• [41:17] - Dr. Cialdini demonstrates how this works with a personal example.
• [43:11] - Be wary of promotions within your "tribe."
• [44:12] - Some companies will ask for collaboration to create unity and produce customer loyalty.
• [47:09] - Dr. Cialdini shares a story about letting people into one's house.
• [50:55] - Check out Dr. Cialdini's website for a Harvard article to help prevent digital attacks on your organization or business.

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Criminals feel safe to hide behind the internet. They hire people and train them to be effective salespeople with the goal of taking your money. Let's look at a few ways to do our due diligence to be sure that who you are working with online are who they say they are.

Today's guest is Ken Gamble. Ken is a professional investigator, corporate security specialist, and cybercrime expert with 33 years of experience working for individuals and multinational corporations. He is the co-founder and executive chairman of IFW Global that conducts fraud investigations, asset tracking, fraud recovery, disruption and prevention of global cybercrime, monitoring enforcement actions to protect and recover assets for worldwide clients. He is the current Australian chairman of the International Association of Cybercrime Prevention, a non-profit association founded in Paris in 2006. Ken is an accomplished surveillance specialist and former surveillance advisor contractor to a commonwealth government agency in Australia and a consultant to numerous law enforcement agencies in the US, Asia, and Europe as well as several foreign governments.

• [1:23] - Ken shares his background and international experience.
• [2:41] - In his career, Ken has worked in all sectors of investigation.
• [3:50] - What inspired Ken to get into this field? The internet.
• [6:00] - International crimes are very complicated to pursue which has made crime on the internet so impactful.
• [8:01] - Although challenging, it is possible to track people down by following a digital footprint and mistakes.
• [9:39] - The type of work Ken does is very high-end.
• [10:47] - Ken has worked for foreign governments and government officials for many high-end cases.
• [11:37] - Following the money doesn't lead to the scammer. Ken describes other methods to track the location of criminals.
• [13:05] - A lot of success comes from informants and whistle-blowers.
• [13:55] - Sometimes people work in a call center not knowing that they are working for a scam organization.
• [15:02] - This is a male-dominated industry, specifically young men.
• [17:06] - Although these criminals are ruthless, they are well spoken, polished speakers and are generally very charming.
• [18:03] - Craigslist is often used to attract job applicants.
• [19:37] - Criminal organizations are extremely manipulative to those who come to realize that the operations are wrong.
• [22:38] - A big red flag is talking to someone and not ever seeing them either in person or on a video chat.
• [24:25] - Do your due diligence and research who you're talking to.
• [26:54] - Criminal organizations train employees through very well rehearsed scripts.
• [29:23] - The number one red flag is that criminal organizations are not regulated firms.
• [30:52] - Cryptocurrency is a big trend in scams currently.
• [33:18] - There are a lot of new challenges with cryptocurrency fraud.
• [35:22] - Cybercrime organizations are extremely sophisticated.
• [36:55] - Many organizations have mastered moving funds to other countries that won't cooperate with law enforcement.
• [38:29] - Being able to reveal who the criminals are leads to a better chance at asset recovery.
• [40:02] - If Ken can identify a criminal and freeze accounts, it worries them. Paying back a client is how they can get out of their predicament.
• [41:18] - Some countries are more favorable to the victim and others are not.
• [42:37] - Ken now takes the media along to busts to expose criminals and educate the public.
• [44:09] - Financial crime is devastating to the victim.
• [46:50] - Criminals sometimes feel extreme guilt but they justify their actions.
• [51:15] - If you want to invest in something, ask for second opinions and do your due diligence and research.

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Surveillance cameras and other student monitoring tools are becoming more and more common in schools today. Laptops are distributed to the students and software is installed on them for their own protection, but it is important to know what is being done with the data collected outside of classroom use and if your students or your own privacy is being invaded.

Today's guest is Jason Kelley. Jason is the Associate Director of Digital Strategy at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, focusing on how privacy and surveillance impact digital liberties. Before joining EFF, Jason managed marketing strategy and content for a software company that helps non-programmers learn to code, and advertising and marketing analytics for a student loan startup.

• [0:53] - Jason describes his current role at Electronic Frontier Foundation.
• [2:32] - Big tech companies who offer devices to schools collect data from them.
• [4:17] - Physical surveillance has increased due to the continuous problem of school shootings.
• [6:01] - Surveillance cameras can be accessed directly by local police. Jason explains how this can be controversial.
• [8:34] - Jason and Chris discuss the reason for using school-issued devices only for education purposes.
• [9:53] - Surveillance cameras do have blind spots. Facial recognition also has some issues.
• [11:03] - When devices are provided, parents, young people, and even administrators don't always know the capabilities.
• [12:22] - Jason shares an example of one of the pitfalls of student monitoring apps that are on school issued devices.
• [14:07] - Schools can take screen captures from issued devices which isn't done out of malice but does raise questions about privacy.
• [15:12] - We have to choose which is more important: safety or privacy.
• [16:37] - Students and parents need to know that school issued devices have features that will impact privacy.
• [17:32] - Jason describes some of the differences between the types of alerts school administrators receive.
• [19:12] - Sometimes software blocks things that are safe and doesn't block things that could potentially be inappropriate.
• [20:50] - Teachers cannot have their eyes on every student's computer at all times and often rely on software to help.
• [22:04] - Teachers shouldn't be expected to know how surveillance software works.
• [23:01] - Jason describes a recent problem at Dartmouth with Canvas logs.
• [26:27] - This issue at Dartmouth was very serious and could have impacted the students' careers drastically.
• [28:21] - There is an epidemic of misunderstandings of technology.
• [29:24] - EFF offers guides for students on what to do and expect with school-issued devices.
• [30:42] - There have been a lot of successful petitions in recent years about data tracking in universities. Parents have some leverage here as well.
• [33:00] - Sometimes, there's not anything you can do about student surveillance.
• [34:20] - The Covid-19 pandemic made things very challenging as students needed access to education remotely very quickly.
• [36:50] - Jason describes some of the features of remote proctoring programs.
• [38:33] - This vastly impacted thousands of students who took the BAR exam.
• [40:36] - EFF has been pushing back on proctoring and Jason explains a recent win.
• [42:18] - Jason is hopeful that the pandemic has made it more clear where technology fails us.

Thanks for joining us on Easy Prey. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review.

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The term "gaslighting" is becoming more commonly used as people come to understand the psychological impact. It is important to identify the techniques used by someone to maintain an unhealthy relationship so you can avoid it or change it.

Today's guest is Dr. Deborah Vinall. Dr. Vinall is not only a licensed marriage and family therapist, but also a doctor of psychology. She is a certified trauma therapist that uses EMDR and brain spotting. Dr. Vinall is the author of Gaslighting: A Step by Step Recovery Guide to Heal From Emotional Abuse and Building Healthy Relationships.

• [1:18] - Dr. Vinall explains why she wrote her recent book as gaslighting is something a lot of people experience but don't understand.
• [2:42] - What is gaslighting? Dr. Vinall gives an example.
• [3:18] - Gaslighting can happen anywhere and with anyone.
• [4:06] - There are different types of gaslighting that range from fully calculated to more defensive in nature.
• [5:01] - Many people exhibit gaslighting at some point in their lives, but patterns are when things get problematic.
• [6:19] - Insecurity is one reason many people tend to gaslight.
• [7:29] - What are some signs for pattern gaslighters?
• [8:22] - Pattern gaslighters are often very charming in public but are much different behind closed doors.
• [10:00] - What is "normal" and what is problematic? Look inside and see how you feel around this person.
• [11:03] - Dr. Vinall gives tips on how to manage situations where it is a co-worker that you can't make a break from.
• [12:53] - When confronted, pattern gaslighters may dismiss accusations or could "fly off the handle."
• [13:49] - In relationships, gaslighters tend to move very fast.
• [15:22] - In cases where relationships are deeply connected, Dr. Vinall suggests reaching out to a lawyer. She also discusses the impact of violence escalation.
• [18:02] - There is a distinction between occasional gaslighting and chronic pathological gaslighting.
• [19:39] - Try some different strategies in the workplace and think of an exit plan in case a change is needed.
• [21:12] - Journaling is an excellent tool to help you release and sort through your thoughts and can also be used later to confirm to yourself that you are not crazy.
• [22:58] - A red flag of gaslighting is someone trying to pull you away from your support system and external relationships.
• [24:11] - It's important to grieve the loss of a relationship and all the things that go with it.
• [25:26] - Notice your self-talk. You can start internalizing the negative talk that you hear from someone who gaslights you.
• [27:19] - Being a gaslighter may be difficult to overcome as there's something deeper going on and you must want to heal.
• [28:07] - Take your time in a relationship and listen to your intuition.
• [29:49] - Figuring out your boundaries for those in your life who you don't want to cut out.

Thanks for joining us on Easy Prey. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review.

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