In a bizarre thought experiment ripped from a headline in Scientific American, we explore a world where humans have developed a genetic mutation similar to some Labrador retrievers that causes constant hunger. This leads us down a hilarious path of imagining cities with celery slurry piped to every home, space missions needing to carry vast tanks of liquified celery, and foosball becoming the new national pastime in a low-energy society. Join us as we follow this delightfully absurd scenario to its conclusion and have some laughs about our least favorite vegetable.