Eldercare Success

This episode is Part Two of my discussion with attorney Dan Frith.

The quality of care our aging parents receive can vary by which hospital they use. The one closest to home might not be the safest, or even appropriate for them, or you. Not all hospitals are the same, nor equal, nor even similar in the types of services they offer or specialize in. It’s important to assume that hospital systems are businesses too.  Before you need one, learn how to research your local hospital. Understand the strengths, weaknesses, and reputation, of a hospital that's nearby, or in another state. 

In this episode, we’ll cover how to get the details you need on all those specialists watching over your parents’ recovery.  You do have choices, and it’s important to know how to get what you need if a loved one's life, or even yours, is ever at stake. 

Helpful links:

HHS.Gov Hospital compare

US News Best Hospitals, report

Hospital Safety Grade

Guest: Dan Frith, JD has been practicing law in Virginia for over 35 years and is with the law firm Frith& Ellerman, Law Firm, P.S. He limits his practice to litigation of medical negligence cases, wrongful-death litigation, and business/employment claims. Dan has represented clients throughout Virginia in both state and federal courts, authored numerous publications, and is a frequent speaker for continuing legal education programs for other trial attorneys.

Dan is a recognized member of the Million Dollar Advocate Forum due to the results of his diligent work for his clients. Dan has served as a chair of both the Litigation section of the Virginia State Bar and the Standing Committee on Professionalism. Dan currently is an active member of the American Association for Justice, and Virginia Trial Lawyers Association, and previously served as the President of the Virginia Chapter of the American Board of Trial Advocates. Since March 13, 2003, Dan has received the highest rating by his peers (AV) from Martindale-Rubble.

Dan, a married father of two boys, is a graduate of Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University and Washington and Lee University School of Law.

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2023 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

How do you prepare your home, or a parent’s home, so it’s safe for them to return to after a hospitalization or long-term rehab stay?  They might have recovered, but the last thing you want is for another issue or accident to happen.  In this episode, we provide a list of suggestions to help you, the family or professional caregiver, better ensure continued safety and sustained quality of life for those you care for, even if their physical or mental abilities are starting to decline. 

Resource PDF download: Here's a link to the PDF mentioned in this episode, which will give you a list, and links to items that will be helpful to you and your parents.

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2023 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

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In this episode, we discuss how to learn if your doctor is the right one for your parents, or you. Sometimes we base our trust on a doctor’s “likeability,” or bedside manner.  But someone who seems good doesn’t mean they are good or even competent.  When it comes to your health, skills, competency ( a low "accidental" death rate), and experience usually trump attitude and charm.

We also touch on some other points and questions to ask:

• What’s the prime age for a doctor,?
• When might you want to re-think using the doctor your parents have used for years?
• How do you know your doctor’s qualified to treat your parents’ specific conditions?  Note they will change over time and can change quickly.
• Should you trust a doctor’s online medical website ratings?
• Should you rely on a doctor’s referrals to other specialists?   
• When might it be dangerous to work with a general surgeon? 
• When you’re pressured to make decisions during a critical health scare, how do you take out the emotion and do what’s best for those you love? 
• Finally, how do you avoid signing away all your, or your parents’ rights before getting a procedure?

If there's an issue that you are seriously concerned about, with your doctor, you can fire their doctor.

There's a lot more to learn from this episode. Tune in and share with those you care about, and others caring for a parent too. This information could make everyone's life just a bit better.

Here's an extra link/resource that may be helpful to you: The Federation of State Medical Boards.

Guest: Dan Frith, JD has been practicing law in Virginia for over 35 years, and is with the law firm Frith& Ellerman, Law Firm, P.S. . He limits his practice to litigation of medical negligence cases, wrongful-death litigation, and business/employment claims. Dan has represented clients throughout Virginia in both state and federal courts, authored numerous publications, and is a frequent speaker for continuing legal education programs for other trial attorneys.

Dan is a recognized member of the Million Dollar Advocate Forum due to the results of his diligent work for his clients. Dan has served as a chair of both the Litigation section of the Virginia State Bar and the Standing Committee on Professionalism. Dan currently is an active member of the American Association for Justice, Virginia Trial Lawyers Association, and previously served as the President of the Virginia Chapter of the American Board of Trial Advocates. Since March 13, 2003, Dan has received the highest rating by his peers (AV) from Martindale-Rubble.

Dan, a married father of two boys, is a graduate of Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University and Washington and Lee University School of Law.

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2023 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

In this episode, I share some research done on the most challenging days of the week for those who care for an aging parent or spouse.  From this, I learned that there really is an official calendar day called Blue Monday. Also, there are specific days when it seems, the effort of caregiving is that much more stressful.  It’s good to know this and be better prepared. I also dive into some ways to make the tough winter months a bit easier for you and those you’re caring for. 

Here's a link to my friends, Walter and Naiad Einsel, and their love story. This will lift anyone's mood. That's a promise.

Quotes to help lift your mood on a bad day

Transcript: Episode #51, Can you Predict Emergencies?

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2023 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

What happens when you’re both a caregiver and, at the same, disabled yourself?    In this episode my guest Daniel Hodges, JD, who is blind, was a caregiver for his parents and children while needing special care himself from the medical community.  We discuss how he was able to succeed at this, by being a non-stop advocate for himself and those around him to overcome surprising biases and other obstacles put in his way.  Our conversation includes:

• How to get doctors to treat you with respect
• How to get more time when needed.
• What happens when a doctor wants to “Fix” you or your loved one – and it goes wrong
• When the doctor goes outside the box to be a savior/hero
• How quality of care can decline if you’re perceived to have a disability.
• Bias and ignorance in the medical community and how to make things work in your favor

In addition, we dive into how best to sharpen your own self-advocacy skills and get more from your doctor and healthcare providers, than the average person. Learn how to work the system before it works you over! 

Special Note: I am fortunate to have Daniel as a friend and guest here on the Eldercare Success podcast. I am confident that his words and experiences will be lessons that you, the listener will learn from too. Nancy

The TRANSCRIPT for this show is available by clicking here.

Guest: Daniel Hodges, JD Social entrepreneur, connector, and servant leader. My unique approach to access, inclusion, and health equity facilitates real solutions. When each of us has a chance to succeed, all of us benefit. He is the cofounder of Pure Access and the President and Founder of The Peaces of Me Foundation.

Daniel was born blind, and with a connective tissue disorder called Ehlers Danlos syndrome. His constellation of symptoms is so rare that they have never appeared together in any medical text that I have been able to find. He says "Sometimes I struggle to lead with this part of my story because my health struggles do not define me. EDS has taken a lot of things, but it will not take my identity. Nevertheless, my experiences provide me with a valuable lens through which I view the world. It inspires me to question the status quo on several levels, and it causes me to dream of what we can yet achieve."

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2022 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

Caring for those we love is tough enough. When toxic people enter our lives wanting more of our time, attention, energy, and even money, offering nothing in return, they make caregiving even more difficult. 

In this episode, I share some tips on identifying, assessing, and more easily separating yourself from those I refer to as time vampires, bloodsuckers, and jerks.  I also discuss how to turn things around and find more good souls to bring joy, kindness, and sharing into our lives and those we love and care for. This is a great way to end the year and start 2023 with a lighter heart.

Note:  people who whistle or hum throughout the day are actually (unintentionally) toning their vagus nerves, which puts them into a more relaxed state.  That’s why people who whistle or hum frequently are usually happier than those who don’t.  Click her for other benefits of stimulating your vagus nerve.  Give it a try. 

Happy New Year to all! 

Lots of Love, Nancy

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2022 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

In this episode, I share tips on how caregivers can overcome those holiday blues when you’re alone and away from those you love.  The show mentions how to make your days brighter when you start feeling a little dark.

Below are several links to those tips and solutions discussed in this episode.  They’re fun and easy to do yourself or with your parents even if they have physical challenges:

Holiday Cookie Houses: Option #1, Option #2, Option #3/Mansion Style, and no-bake Option #4

How to create your own private YouTube channel

Create a Chinese Takeout Smorgasbord, with cake-top sparklers, no-mess tossing streamers, or LED balloons. (I recommend putting these balloons on sticks as they’re easier to have fun with vs. helium inflation).

Stocking Stuffer creation party: 64 stuffers you can easily make.

Invite children into your mom and dad’s home. Open fun gifts together or make gifts with them to share with friends and family members.

Make all sorts of decorated popcorn balls: Recipe for turning them into ornaments you can hang.

Holiday character appetizers: A skillet snowman, and fun Hanukkah dessert ideas.

Be creative. Get wild and crazy.  Ask mom, dad, and all your friends who are caring for someone to join in with ideas and the celebration. 

This way you’ll never be alone (until you want to be). 

Cheers and happy holidays!

Lots of love, Nancy

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2022 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

This show is in memory of James Degenheardt who was a gift that showed up on my dad's doorstep one New Year's Day.

Finding that special, thoughtful gift for an aging parent, or loved one can be tough.  Even more so when you are short on time, or just can’t bear the thought of going shopping.

In this episode, I share how I faced this same dilemma as my folks got older – after all, who really needs another bathrobe or pair of slippers? 

One way to do this is to think outside the (gift) box: what stories did they tell you, what memories did they share, that was extra special to them? Build on those memories. Find things, or people they may have known, or places they loved to go that will bring those memories back, in a different format.

A little creativity can go a long way: messages and songs from special people, photo storybooks, short trips to places they once knew and loved, etc.

The stories I share may just spark your imagination and help you create a unique gift that could surprise even give you, a ton of joy too.  

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2022 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

Imagine not being able to eat, swallow or enjoy your favorite foods.  Or feeling so tired you could fall headfirst into your soup bowl! Or, even worse, getting your tongue cut, and rebuilt due to cancer, and having to learn how to talk again! Would thinking about these things happening freak you out? Well, there’s lots to learn from my special guest in this episode, and some good things, too.

Often when someone’s parent has a stroke, heart attack, early dementia, or other health issues requiring hospitalization, they’re typically referred to a rehab facility, or special nursing care facility. This can include different types of physical and occupational therapy.  Some of these therapists wind up saving lives, this even includes speech and language pathologists.

In this episode, Phyllis Ayman and I dive into situations where hospitals, rehab facilities, skilled nursing homes, and even in-home care professionals don’t know how the simple act of swallowing works, and thus frequently ignore the condition.  When things like this are missed, they could result in early or sudden death. We dive into ways to:

• Prevent choking hazards
• Reduce the chance of aspiration pneumonia
• Understand the impact of a stroke or dementia on eating and swallowing
• Do “weightlifting” for your throat
• Know when a cough isn’t from a cold or allergy

You’ll even learn how to make sure that the medical facility discharge nurse/doctor hasn’t missed critical information relevant to your parent’s quality of life. As an extra bonus, we discuss six top tips to determine when to call in a speech and language pathologist.

GUEST: Phyllis Ayman is an expert Speech/Language Pathologist, Certified Dementia Practitioner, Trainer, and Manager and holds a Certification in Montessori for Dementia. She has worked in approximately 45 skilled nursing/short-term rehabilitation facilities and is the principal owner of Phyllis Ayman Associates and the author of Nursing Homes to Rehabilitation Centers, What every person needs to know, and Dignity & Respect.

Phyllis is the host of the podcast Seniors Straight Talk, on the Voice America Empowerment Channel. She is also a board member of the Massachusetts Advocates for Nursing Home Reform.

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2022 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

In this short episode, we talk about how to protect your parent’s credit cards from getting skimmed while in their wallets. RFID chips are now embedded in almost all our credit cards. For those of us caring for aging parents who are out and about shopping on their own, or with the help of an aide, the idea that their cards can be charged without their knowledge just adds another layer of concern to our caregiving workload.

There’s some controversy about whether these cards can be skimmed from a distance, yet this recently happened in my family. Although it wasn’t fraudulently skimmed, a purchase transaction was placed on their card, before they were able to take the card out of their wallet.

Tune in for some simple researched tips you can do now to prevent some financial catastrophes from happening later.

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an acknowledged expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered or used as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2022 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.