Elite Rugby Banter

Ant is back from faraway lands with a scouting report from Georgia (spoiler: they don’t know much about SA rugby… except that we’re good), and the boys dive into a proper Six Nations mid-tournament temperature check.

We unpack three weeks of Six Nations chaos: France looking like the only adults in the room, Ireland nearly getting Italy'd in Dublin, Scotland doing Scotland things (again), and England discovering that a 12-game streak doesn’t stop you getting put to the sword. Along the way we argue about drifting passes, TMOs who simply can’t help themselves, and whether gold boots are basically a cursed captaincy announcement.

Then it’s a quick whip around the globe: SA’s new U20/U23 Currie Cup bridge (and the return of curtain-raiser nostalgia), early Super Rugby weirdness (Brumbies statement win, Crusaders in the mud, and the usual “it’s early” cop-outs), URC’s return, and Varsity Cup’s latest mad-scientist scoring rule. Also the Lions did the double over the Sharks!

Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

After a quick detour to the URC, Ant, Phil and Andy preview the upcoming Six Nations. Will England and Italy's rises supersede Ireland and Scotland's golden (yet greying) generations? Will Dupont carry France or will he be lost to the Winter Olympics? And will Wales...nah, they won't. That and more in this week's episode.

Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Phil, Ant, and Andy are back after a festive break to review the state of play in the URC and European Cup rugby. Also, what's going on in New Zealand and when is Razor going to swap Christchurch for Durban?? They also play adjudicators for the SA Rugby Awards after the shortlists were released this week. Who is the ERB SA Player of the Year? Moment of the Year? Coach? Have a listen and find out.

Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

It's the festive season, which is when we find out who has been naughty or nice, or in ERB's world which teams had good years, average years, and a season to forget. Ant, Phil, and a returning Andy have a look at standout players and moments for each of the top 12 sides. Oh, yes, we also address the extremely disappointing Eben incident and the needless Wales rout, while also touching on a tremendous Stormers result and a surprising Jukskei derby.

Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Strap in for a bumper episode of Elite Rugby Banter as Ant and Phil break down a truly bizarre and brutal Test match in Dublin. The Springboks were undeniably dominant against Ireland, so why did it feel so close? We dive into the FIVE Irish cards, the scrum carnage, the bizarre refereeing decisions, and the James Ryan incident that left us speechless.

Then, we shift gears to crown the best of the best. With the international season wrapped up, we unveil our official Elite Rugby Banter World XV of the Year. Who made the cut in our entirely objective and completely undisputed dream team? There are shock inclusions, controversial snubs, and a healthy dose of banter as we debate the standout players from 1 to 15.

It’s all here: analysis of the Boks' tour, the state of the All Blacks, England's rise, and our prestigious end-of-year awards. You won't want to miss it!

Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

This week on Elite Rugby Banter, we unpack a weekend of rugby that felt like it was scripted by a mischievous referee with a flair for theatre. The Boks beat Italy, but the real drama was in the card deck — with Eddie Jones still talking about “intent” like it’s a legal thriller. KLA ghosted again, Moodie’s defence was more interpretive dance than tackle technique, but Dwilly was electric and Manie continued to Manie with reckless charm. Pollard? Somewhere between solid and spectral. If you’re not betting on Bok 9s to score, you hate free money. And Rassie’s bench moves? Chef’s kiss.

Across the channel, England stunned the All Blacks and now we’re all asking: are they actually good? Is this real? Who’s in the top five now — and does anyone agree? BBBB caught some heat, but the real fire was in the discourse. Ireland beat Australia, but only the wrong Aussies shone. Ireland looked better, but was that just because Australia are now a rugby ghost town?

Scotland lost to Argentina, and surely Tooney’s seat is now lava. Meanwhile, Argentina continue to “prove” they’re a top team — despite having done so for five years, three World Cup semis, and wins over basically everyone. Can we retire the “on their day” trope?

And yes, Japan played Wales.

It’s a week of hot takes, cold facts, and rugby chaos — and we’re here to stir it all with a crooked referee’s whistle and a wink.

Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

If French rugby is fine wine, the Boks uncorked it, chugged it straight from the bottle, and smashed the glass on the way out.

The Springboks have once again marched into Paris like uninvited houseguests, stomping mud across the carpets, smashing the crockery, and pocketing a few heirlooms for good measure. France looked overrated, outmuscled, and utterly unable to dent the Bok defence, while the refereeing circus gave us scrums that made no sense, a red card that raised eyebrows, and yellows that felt more like lottery tickets. Rassie’s substitutions were bold, Siya’s leadership was immense, and Esterhuizen looked every bit the golden key to unlock this side. Sasha or Manie — who’s really the man (hint, it's still Pollard)? Meanwhile, the 9s are bringing the heat, but KLA might not be it.

Beyond Paris, the Northern Hemisphere chorus of “we’re undercooked” rang out again, conveniently forgetting that the shoe is on the other foot every June. Italy toppled Australia, leaving us wondering if Joe Schmidt’s fire has fizzled. Scotland spooked themselves against New Zealand in what quickly became the DMac show. England scraped past Fiji, though the islanders could easily have stolen it, with refereeing once again in the spotlight. Wales, poor Wales, were left licking wounds after Argentina gave them another bruising reminder of reality. And in the background, World Cup qualification permutations rumble on: Namibia struggling, Belgium proving they’re more than just chips.

It was a weekend of broken narratives, hot takes, and Southern Hemisphere swagger, and we’re here to stir the pot with all the banter you can handle.

Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show

Tadgh Beirne’s red card lit the fuse this weekend, and while most of us were still debating intent versus accident, BBBB was already pledging his undying defence of the man. We ask whether a Barrett‑less All Blacks might actually be the better version. Meanwhile, SaFM continues to smoulder — is it still flames or just smoke and mirrors? Two aerial 50/50s had everyone split down the middle, Kolbe’s solidity was put under the microscope, and the big questions loom: Is Quan Horn already a better bet than Andries Coetzee, should Pat Lambie still be the Boks’ first‑choice 10 (yes, Ant went there), and was Faz completely mad to back Doris?

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We are 5 weeks into the URC and have 5 weeks of Springboks rugby ahead - it's the perfect time for a stock take. Do the Boks have what it takes to go 5 from 5? Are the Stormers as good as they seem? Did the Citing Commissioner set an extremely dangerous precedent? The answer to at least one of those questions is a yes. Listen in to find out what the guys think.

After a brief review of the URC second round and the last of the Rugby Champs (Bokke back to back!), each of our four regulars delivers the end-of-term report on their allotted team. Listen in to find out more about James O'Connor's haircut, why Jordie Barrett may have resurrected Camille Chat's international career, Ant's Nic White impression, and Kolbe's sudden senile onset.

Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.