In this episode of Unlearning the Good Girl on Embrace Your Value, Jen Anderson digs into a pattern most women don't even recognize in themselves: over-explaining. It sounds like kindness. It sounds like consideration. But most of the time it's fear, specifically the fear that your no won't be accepted unless it makes perfect sense to everyone around you.

Jen breaks down why over-explaining is a form of self-abandonment, what it reinforces in your nervous system over time, and what it would look like to finally trust that your no is enough without a five-minute explanation to pattern is showing up in your own life.

Download the free reflection guide at www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/chooseyou.

Email Jen at [email protected]

Why do you keep doing the thing you know isn't serving you?

In this episode, Jen and Kristen get honest about the six core human needs driving every pattern you can't quite explain — the overworking, the people-pleasing, the staying too long, the endless scrolling. None of it is random. All of it is meeting a need.

They talk about which needs show up most in the women they work with, why naming a pattern isn't always enough to change it, and what question actually gets underneath the behavior to what's really going on.

No structured lesson this week. Just a real conversation and one question worth carrying with you:

What need am I trying to meet, and what is it costing me to meet it this way?

Contact us at [email protected]

Learn more about Kristen here: 

Instagram    enlighten_services

Website       www.kristenburrus.com

Facebook    enlighten_services 

Learn more about Jen here: 

https://www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/

@thankfulheartscoaching on Facebook

@the.jennifer.anderson on Instagram

[email protected] 

In this episode of Unlearning the Good Girl on Embrace Your Value, Jen Anderson explores why so many women are emotionally exhausted all the time: they've spent years feeling responsible for everyone else's emotional state. This pattern hides inside behaviors that look like kindness, checking on everyone, fixing problems before anyone asks, softening every reaction, and absorbing tension that was never theirs to carry.

Jen breaks down where this pattern comes from, what it costs you over time, and why boundaries feel so terrifying when your nervous system learned that other people being upset means you're unsafe. If you've ever felt like you could only relax once everyone else was okay, this episode is for you.

Download the free reflection guide at www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/chooseyou, and learn about private Choose You sessions while you're there.

Kristen Burrus and Jen Anderson discuss anger as an emotion that carries information rather than something shameful or dangerous, noting many women were conditioned to suppress it to maintain connection and be “calm” or agreeable. They explain that pushed-down anger often resurfaces as anxiety, people-pleasing, shutdown, overwhelm, resentment, or exhaustion, and that resentment commonly reflects accumulated boundary violations and chronic self-abandonment. The hosts distinguish healthy anger from destructive anger, especially for those who grew up around explosive or unpredictable behavior, and emphasize anger can signal crossed boundaries, grief, unmet needs, emotional exhaustion, powerlessness, fear, or feeling unseen. They encourage listeners to pause, get curious, and ask what feels heavy, what needs are being ignored, and what boundary needs attention, reinforcing that feeling anger is human and can support self-awareness and self-trust.

If you enjoyed this episode please connect with your hosts, Kristen or Jen, you can find us at the links below!

Contact us at the podcast at:  [email protected]

Learn more about Kristen here: 

Instagram : enlighten_services

Website : www.kristenburrus.com

Facebook : enlighten_services 

Learn more about Jen here: 

Website : https://www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/

Facebook : @thankfulheartscoaching 

Instagram : @the.jennifer.anderson

[email protected] 

In this episode of Unlearning the Good Girl on Embrace Your Value, Jen Anderson digs into the warning sign most women dismiss for years: resentment. It rarely shows up all at once. It builds slowly through automatic yeses, emotional caretaking, constant availability, and swallowed feelings until one day your nervous system is protesting and you don't even know why.

Jen shares what resentment actually looks like, why it has so little to do with the people around you, and how the belief that loving means overgiving keeps so many women stuck in exhausting cycles. This episode will help you understand what your resentment is really trying to tell you and what to do about it.

Download the free reflection guide at www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/chooseyou, and learn about private Choose You sessions while you're there.

Jen Anderson and trauma therapist Kristen Burrus discuss “shrinking” after Jen recalls a client saying, almost casually, “I used to have a lot of opinions,” realizing many women gradually lose access to what they think and want through small, repeated self-edits meant to reduce tension. They describe how softening responses, avoiding conflict, and managing others’ reactions can feel like safety to the nervous system in the moment but erode a sense of self over time, until silence feels like personality. Kristen distinguishes fear-based suppression from healthy discretion and maturity, and they frame the difference as chosen values versus survival strategies. They share an example of a woman who became emotionally flat after years of filtering herself for her husband, and emphasize pausing to notice unfiltered thoughts. Listeners are invited to ask: When did you start editing yourself, and for whom?

If you enjoyed this episode please connect with your hosts, Kristen or Jen, you can find us at the links below!

Contact us at the podcast at:  [email protected]

Learn more about Kristen here: 

Instagram : enlighten_services

Website : www.kristenburrus.com

Facebook : enlighten_services 

Learn more about Jen here: 

Website : https://www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/

Facebook : @thankfulheartscoaching 

Instagram : @the.jennifer.anderson

[email protected] 

In this episode of Unlearning the Good Girl on Embrace Your Value, Jen Anderson gets honest about one of the most common patterns she sees in women: self-abandonment. Not the dramatic kind, the quiet kind. The kind where you know everyone else's needs, schedules, and emotions, but you haven't truly checked in with yourself in years.

Jen walks through five signs you may be abandoning yourself without realizing it, from chronic self-doubt and emotional over-responsibility to resentment, g

Download the free guide at www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/chooseyou.

Kristen Burrus interviews Jen Anderson, a beliefs and boundaries specialist, about the personal experiences that shaped her work, including her older brother’s lifelong addiction and his death in 2017, which led her to focus on helping families love without enabling. Jen explains why midlife (often the 40s and 50s) is a pivotal season for inner work, how people-pleasing is rewarded until its cost becomes exhaustion and resentment, and what limiting beliefs look like in daily life, sharing her own long-held belief of not being smart. She distinguishes kindness from self-abandonment, describes her framework “beliefs plus boundaries equals bliss,” and discusses her book, Give Your Yes a Bestie Named No. Jen outlines what coaching with her involves, who Thankful Hearts Coaching serves, and how to connect via a pathfinder’s call at thankfulheartscoaching.com.

00:00 Welcome and Setup

01:50 Jen’s Boundary Origin Story

04:38 Why Midlife Is Pivotal

06:18 People Pleasing Wake Up Call

09:08 Limiting Beliefs Explained

13:14 Kindness vs Self Abandonment

15:37 Beliefs Boundaries Bliss

17:42 Too Much and Not Enough

20:19 Book Give Your Yes a Bestie Named No

22:38 Reclaiming Your Voice

24:18 What Coaching Looks Like

26:51 Are You Ready and Who It’s For

29:03 How to Connect and Next Steps

30:38 Final Encouragement and Wrap Up

If you enjoyed this episode, connect with your hosts, Kristen or Jen, you can find us at the links below!

Email us at:  [email protected]

Learn more about Kristen here: 

Instagram : enlighten_services

Website : www.kristenburrus.com

Facebook : enlighten_services 

Learn more about Jen here: 

Website : https://www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/

Facebook : @thankfulheartscoaching 

Instagram : @the.jennifer.anderson

[email protected] 

Introducing Unlearning the Good Girl, a summer series from Jen Anderson on Embrace Your Value. This series is for the woman who looks functional on the outside but feels emotionally exhausted underneath: the helper, the fixer, the one who keeps the peace while quietly losing herself in the process.

In this intro episode, Jen shares why she created this series, what it means to abandon yourself while the world praises you for it, and what it looks like to finally start choosing yourself again. Expect real conversations about people pleasing, guilt, resentment, boundaries, and the hidden grief of becoming who everyone else needed you to be.

This isn't about becoming selfish. It's about including yourself in your own life again.

🌐 Join Jen's email community, PEP Talks: www.thankfulheartscoaching.com

🎙️ New episodes drop weekly all summer long.

Jen goes off script on Embrace Your Value to reintroduce co-host and resident trauma therapist Kristen Burrus of Enlightened Services, who helps clients with trauma, addiction, and building healthy boundaries. Kristen explains why people struggle with boundaries—unclear values and not knowing how to set them—and clarifies that boundaries aren’t about controlling others, but about how you will respond. She emphasizes accountability in relationships, focusing on each person’s part, and notes that relationships are salvageable when both parties are willing to put in effort. Kristen shares practical tools for overwhelm (breathing in for three, hold for three, out for six, plus structure and routine), how mood impacts relationships, and why therapy can help if you’re considering it. She discusses choosing a therapist fit, the meaning behind “Enlightened Services,” her path into trauma work, her self-care, and her hope that listeners leave knowing they matter and have value.00:00 Welcome and Setup02:40 Why Boundaries Are Hard04:12 What Boundaries Really Mean06:10 Relationships and Accountability08:00 Repair or Let Go09:08 Healthy Relationship Balance10:13 Tools for Overwhelm11:25 Mood Impacts Everything12:27 Do I Need Therapy13:52 Finding the Right Therapist15:22 Enlightened Services Origin16:19 Why Trauma Therapy19:20 Self Care and Real Life23:53 Podcast Growth and Meaning26:11 Therapy Advice and Wrap UpIf you enjoyed this episode, connect with your hosts, Kristen or Jen, you can find us at the links below!Email us at: [email protected] more about Kristen here: Instagram: enlighten_servicesWebsite: www.kristenburrus.comFacebook: enlighten_services Learn more about Jen here: Website: https://www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/Facebook: @thankfulheartscoaching Instagram: @[email protected]