Emotionally Unavailable

What if it's never too late to heal, reconnect with yourself, and become who you were always meant to be?

Host, Malisa Hepner, sits with Lena Fein as she shares her powerful journey of healing from childhood trauma and learning to live with greater vulnerability, authenticity, and self-love at 68. She opens up about the shame and emotional wounds she carried for years—and what changed when she began reconnecting with her heart instead of continuing to hide the parts of herself she had learned weren't acceptable.

Together, they explore how childhood experiences shape the way we see ourselves, why shame can keep us disconnected from our authentic selves, and what becomes possible when we stop rejecting the parts of ourselves that need compassion most.

Lena's story is a beautiful reminder that healing has no expiration date. Whether you're 28 or 68, you can begin releasing old stories, allowing yourself to be seen, and building a relationship with yourself rooted in acceptance rather than shame.

Notice one part of yourself you've learned to hide, judge, minimize, or feel ashamed of. Instead of immediately trying to change it, get curious about where that judgment came from. Ask yourself: "When did I learn that this part of me wasn't okay?". Then try replacing judgment with compassion: "What did this part of me need then—and what does it need from me now?"

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Lena's website: www.shatteringthemirror.com

In this episode, clinical psychologist Shang Olsen explores the psychology behind rumination, overthinking, and repetitive negative thoughts—and why trying to control or eliminate your thoughts can sometimes keep you stuck in them.

Through the lens of metacognitive therapy, Shang explains how changing your relationship with your thoughts can help you break the rumination cycle, reduce mental distress, and stop giving every thought your attention. This conversation offers practical strategies for stepping out of overthinking and learning that you don't have to engage with everything your mind produces.

The next time you notice yourself caught in an overthinking loop, resist the urge to solve, analyze, or argue with the thought. Instead, notice that you're thinking and intentionally redirect your attention to what's happening around you. Ask yourself: Does this thought actually require my attention right now?

The goal isn't to make the thought disappear—it's to practice letting a thought exist without automatically following it down the rabbit hole. Over time, you can teach your brain that not every thought requires investigation.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Shang's links: Website, Insta, Youtube

In this solo episode, Malisa Hepner reflects on identity, authenticity, astrology, and the strange in-between spaces that come with personal growth. From the intensity of eclipse energy to recognizing old versions of herself that no longer quite fit, she explores what it means to consciously participate in who you're becoming without turning growth into another performance.

Malisa shares what she's learning about honoring your actual capacity while still making room for expansion, allowing your identity to evolve, and recognizing the difference between forcing yourself into a "better" version of you and becoming more deeply aligned with who you already are.

Because transformation isn't always about doing more. Sometimes it's about noticing what no longer feels true—and giving yourself permission to live differently.

Think about the version of yourself you've been operating as lately and ask: Does this identity still fit me, or am I maintaining it because it's familiar?

Then identify one belief, expectation, habit, or way of showing up that belongs to an older version of you. You don't have to reinvent your entire life today. Choose one small place where you can respond as the person you're becoming instead of automatically repeating who you've been.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

What does someone really need when they're hurting? In this episode, therapist Malisa Hepner welcomes back friend of the show, Elaynie Painter, to explore why our instinct to fix, solve, or offer advice can sometimes create more distance—and what it looks like to truly be present instead.

Together they discuss emotional safety, self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and how learning to stay with someone's emotions (instead of rushing to change them) can transform your relationships. Whether you're supporting a grieving friend, navigating conflict with your partner, or learning to be more emotionally available, this conversation offers practical tools to help you show up with greater compassion and connection.

The next time someone shares something painful, pause before responding.Notice if an urge to fix arises, take a breath, and choose presence over problem-solving. Feeling understood often heals more than being given answers.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

What if the biggest thing standing between you and the life you want is the identity you're unconsciously holding onto?

In this solo episode, Malisa Hepner explores the powerful intersection of psychology and spirituality, diving into identity work, manifestation, self-sabotage, and the courage it takes to become the version of yourself capable of receiving what you desire. She unpacks how subconscious patterns keep us stuck, why vulnerability is essential for transformation, and how the people you surround yourself with can either reinforce your old identity or support your growth.

If you're ready to stop repeating old patterns and step into a more authentic, aligned version of yourself, this episode offers practical insights to help you begin.

Choose one behavior this week that reflects the person you're becoming—not the person you've always been. Small, consistent actions reinforce a new identity more powerfully than waiting until you "feel ready."

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

In this deeply personal solo episode, Malisa Hepner shares what it's been like navigating life after profound loss while continuing to choose joy, presence, and healing. Reflecting on how PTSD, grief, and the nervous system intersect, Malisa offers an honest look at what healing actually feels like in real life.

She also explores why she no longer resists normal human emotions, how creating an energizing home has become an act of self-care, and why reconnecting with creativity without chasing validation has changed her relationship with life.

If you've ever wondered whether it's possible to hold joy and sorrow at the same time, this episode is a reminder that healing isn't about leaving grief behind—it's about learning to carry love differently.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

What does it actually mean to become embodied? In this episode, Malisa Hepner sits down with Ben Oofana to explore the path to enlightenment through presence, emotional healing, and reconnecting with the wisdom of the body. Together, they discuss how unresolved trauma disconnects us from ourselves, why emotions are meant to be experienced rather than avoided, and how traditional Native American healing practices can support deeper transformation.

This conversation explores the difference between intellectual understanding and true embodiment, offering practical insights for anyone seeking greater self-awareness, emotional resilience, and authentic inner peace.

Enlightenment isn't about escaping your emotions—it's about becoming fully present with them. True healing happens when the mind, body, and spirit come back into alignment.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Ben's links: Website, Teach me to meditate, Heartache Hotline, Breakup First Aid, Heal My Heartache, Youtube, Insta

In this solo episode, Malisa Hepner dives into emotional availability, self-sabotage, accountability and spiritual beliefs.

This conversation challenges polarizing thinking while offering practical insights into healing, boundaries, and personal growth. Whether you're navigating difficult relationships or your own patterns, this episode will leave you thinking long after it ends.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

In this deeply moving conversation, host Malisa Hepner sits down with grief advocate Kirsten O'Connor of thisisgrief.nz to explore what happens after unimaginable loss. Following the death of her daughter Kahlia, Kirsten shares the lessons grief has taught her about love, presence, and what genuine support really looks like.

Together, they discuss why our culture struggles with grief, how acknowledging death can deepen our connection to life, and why sharing our stories is one of the most powerful paths toward healing. Whether you're grieving yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers compassion, understanding, and hope without minimizing the reality of loss.

Grief isn't a problem to solve—it is love that continues after loss. Healing begins when we stop trying to fix grief and start making space for it.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

Kirsten's links: Website, Insta, Tiktok

Kirsten's first visit to the show: Spotify, Apple

Kirsten's Second Visit

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

What if confidence doesn't come from changing who you are—but from understanding how you're designed?

In this episode, Malisa Hepner sits down with Katie MacLachlan (@begoodguide) to explore how Human Design and astrology can serve as tools for greater self-awareness, emotional resilience, and authentic self-expression. Together, they discuss Mercury retrograde, releasing conditioned patterns, honoring your unique blueprint, and overcoming the fear of being seen. Whether you're new to these concepts or have studied them for years, this conversation offers practical insights for living and leading with greater authenticity.

The more you understand your unique design, the less energy you spend trying to become someone else—and the easier it becomes to show up authentically and confidently.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

• $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

• $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

• $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Katie's last visit to the show!

You can find Katie's website here, and her instagram here!