Therapist and host Malisa Hepner welcomes Mike Elliott for a meaningful discussion on trauma, attachment, and the long-term impact of early life experiences. Mike shares his story of being adopted twice and how those experiences influenced his identity, relationships, and emotional development.

This episode explores how unresolved trauma can shape adult relationship dynamics, the role of self-awareness in healing, and why emotional availability is more nuanced than we often assume—especially when it comes to men. Through honest reflection and storytelling, this conversation offers insight into breaking generational patterns and building healthier connections.

Write down one belief you hold about yourself in relationships (e.g., "I'm hard to love"). Then ask: "Where did I learn this?" Challenging inherited beliefs is a key step in healing attachment wounds.

Mike's links: Website, Insta, The Sacred We Podcast

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Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, sits down with Kirsten OConnor, Author of The Year After Kahlia and Founder of thisisgrief.nz, for a deeply honest conversation about grief, child loss, and the emotional realities no one prepares you for. Together, they explore what it truly means to live with grief—not as something to "get over," but as an ongoing experience that reshapes your identity, your nervous system, and your life.

In this episode, they unpack the impact of traumatic loss, including PTSD symptoms, emotional waves, and the pressure to appear "okay" in a world that doesn't understand, as Kisrten shares the grief she experiences after losing her daughter, Kahilia by suicide. They share the importance of building a personal toolbox for coping—through writing, speaking, and allowing emotions to move instead of suppressing them.

This conversation challenges common misconceptions about grief and offers a more compassionate, realistic perspective: that you can carry deep loss while still experiencing moments of peace, connection, and meaning.

If you are navigating grief, supporting someone who is, or trying to understand the long-term impact of loss, this episode offers both validation and practical insight.

Grief is not something you "move on" from—it's something you learn to carry.

Instead of trying to fix or suppress what you feel, begin building your own emotional toolbox:

• Name what you're feeling without judgment (grief, anger, numbness, longing)

• Create one safe outlet (writing, talking, or even sitting with the feeling)

• Notice when societal expectations are pressuring you to "be okay" and gently release them

You don't have to rush your healing. You can hold grief and still create moments of peace—and both can exist at the same time.

Kirstens links: Website, Insta, TikTok

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After losing her son to a synthetic opioid, therapist and podcast host Malisa Hepner shares her lived experience of navigating grief and PTSD in real time. This episode explores the reality that grief is not just a feeling but an ongoing experience, how trauma responses show up after sudden loss, and the grounded practices helping her find moments of peace without abandoning her grief.

Grief doesn't have to be something you "resolve"—it's something you learn to carry. When your nervous system becomes activated, focus on regulation before meaning-making. Try this: pause, name what's happening in your body (not just your thoughts), and choose one grounding action (breathwork, stepping outside, placing your hand on your chest). You can hold both—deep grief and moments of peace—without betraying your love.

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https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Mentioned in this episode:

9 days after: Honoring Jake - Spotify, Apple

In this powerful episode, therapist and host Malisa Hepner sits down with intuitive reader Cassandra Vancuren, certified in Galactic Astrology and Human Design, to explore her journey from a high-control religious upbringing to a profound spiritual awakening. Cassandra shares how modalities like astrology, Galactic Astrology, and Human Design helped her reclaim her identity, trust her intuition, and live more authentically. Together, they unpack the emotional and psychological layers of deconstructing belief systems, healing from control-based environments, and finding personal truth. This conversation is for anyone navigating spiritual curiosity, identity shifts, or the courage to choose themselves.

Notice where your beliefs came from. Ask yourself: "Did I choose this, or was this given to me?" Then take one small step toward alignment—whether that's exploring a new perspective, questioning an old narrative, or allowing yourself to be curious without judgment. Authenticity begins the moment you give yourself permission to think for yourself.

Cassandra's links: Website, Youtube

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Why do so many of us feel lonely even when we're constantly connected? In this thought-provoking episode, therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, sits down with Dr. Anthony Silard, author of "Love and Suffering: Break the Emotional Chains that Prevent You from Experiencing Love", to explore the psychology of love, loneliness, and meaningful connection. Together, they unpack how modern life, social media, and surface-level interactions are quietly reshaping our emotional well-being—and what it actually takes to build relationships that feel safe, deep, and sustainable.

You'll learn how to move through the love progression model (acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, love), understand the neurochemical impact of connection, and recognize why independence without connection can leave us feeling empty. This conversation offers both psychological insight and practical tools to help you shift from shallow interactions to relationships rooted in authenticity, emotional safety, and real presence.

The next time you feel disconnected, don't reach for more interaction—reach for deeper intention.

Ask yourself:

• Am I showing up to be seen, or to be understood?

• Am I staying at the surface, or allowing myself to be known?

Anthony's links: 2 Free Books, Website, Insta, Facebook

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Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, is back again with, Ashana Kaiulani, reclamation coach, author, podcast host and speaker, as they explore the exhaustion of trying to be perfect and the freedom that comes from embracing our humanity. In this honest conversation, they discuss burnout, emotional honesty, self-compassion, and why honoring your natural rhythms can lead to deeper connection, clarity, and healing.

When you notice yourself pushing through exhaustion or judging your emotions, pause and ask: What would it look like to honor my humanity right now instead of fighting it? Give yourself permission to rest, feel, or slow down—because compassion for your imperfections is often the doorway to your deepest insight and connection.

Ashana's links: Website, Insta, Youtube, Substack

Links to Ashana's previous episode on Emotionally Unavailable: Spotify, Apple

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

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Malisa Hepner sits down with entrepreneur and author Larry Kesslin to explore the deeper truth about happiness, identity, and spiritual awakening. From lessons learned during a life-changing trip to Africa to insights about purpose, connection, and the "Joy Molecule," this conversation challenges the idea that happiness comes from achievement. Discover how volunteering, travel, self-awareness, and even psychedelic-assisted insight can help you reconnect with your authentic self and live with greater meaning, presence, and joy.

Instead of asking "What will make me happy?", start asking three deeper questions Larry describes as the foundation of the Joy Molecule:

1. What genuinely energizes and excites you?

2. Who do you want to impact or serve?

3. Why does that contribution matter to you?

Write down your answers and look for one small way this week to align your actions with them. True fulfillment often emerges not from chasing external success, but from reconnecting with your authentic self and intentionally contributing to something larger than you.

Larry's links: Website, Insta, Joy Molecule Assessment

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https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

In this heartfelt conversation, therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, sits down with mother and daughter, Sela Sproul and Jeselle Hinzman, hosts of Look In Through The Glass podcast, to explore recovery, relationships, and the journey of personal growth. Together they discuss navigating the challenges of recovery, the power of honest conversations, and the complexities of mother-daughter relationships. The episode highlights breaking generational patterns, embracing vulnerability in communication, and using humor and self-care as tools for healing. Listeners will gain insight into building stronger connections while learning to accept imperfection and find joy in everyday moments.

Healing generational patterns begins with honest conversation. Start by creating space for one meaningful, vulnerable conversation with someone you trust—focus on listening, sharing your experience without blame, and allowing imperfection to be part of the process.

Sela and Jeselle's links: Facebook, Tik Tok, Youtube, Spotify, Apple

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

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Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

In this powerful conversation, therapist and host Malisa Hepner, sits down with relationship coach and founder of Building with Bry (Thriving Solo + Intentional Connections) Brylye Collins, , to explore the transformative power of self-love and how it shapes the relationships we choose and the boundaries we set. Together they discuss recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns, the emotional challenges many stay-at-home moms face, and the importance of vulnerability, community, and emotional awareness in personal growth. Brylye shares her journey from toxic relationships to empowerment, offering insight into how understanding your patterns can lead to healthier connections and deeper self-trust.

Start noticing your relationship patterns with curiosity rather than judgment. Ask yourself: "What feeling or belief about myself keeps showing up in my relationships?" Awareness of these patterns is the first step toward setting healthier boundaries, choosing supportive connections, and building a relationship with yourself rooted in self-respect.

Brylye's website

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

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In this deeply personal solo episode, therapist and hos, Malisa Hepner, shares an honest update on her grief journey after the loss of her son, Jake. She reflects on the emotional fluctuations of grief, how the nervous system responds to profound loss, and the coping practices helping her move through the pain. Malisa also shares meaningful ways she plans to honor her son's birthday while learning to hold both sorrow and moments of joy. This conversation offers compassionate insight for anyone navigating grief, supporting someone who is grieving, or learning how to live alongside loss.

Grief is not linear, and experiencing moments of peace or even joy does not mean you are forgetting your loved one. Allow yourself to honor both the pain and the life still moving through you. One simple practice is to create a small ritual that keeps your loved one present in your life—whether that's lighting a candle, speaking their name, writing to them, or engaging in something they loved. These intentional moments can transform grief from something you carry alone into a relationship you continue to hold.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

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• $10-Benefits listed above and free access to monthly workbook

• $30- In addition to the above benefits, you can receive recurring ad space on episodes posted outside of Patreon. (Perfect for single owner/operator small business looking for low budget ad space)

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Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner