Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Many people have this fairy tale view of love in which there is always passion, a lot of sex and everything feels wonderful. It may appear that way at the start of the relationship but once the infatuation stage wears off, the reality sets in. You'll then realize your partner isn't as perfect as you thought. So, what comes next?

In this episode, Kimberly Holmes gives an in-depth explanation of the three components of love and the four stages of the love path, as well as some actionable steps you can take to keep the fire burning in your relationship.

Kimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over 10 years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Host of her own podcast, It Starts with Attraction, being a wife and mother herself, and researching the ways that attraction affects people personally and the relationships that they hold dear.

She is currently working on her Ph.D. in psychology. Kimberly lives in Franklin, Tennessee with her husband, Rob, and two beautiful children from India.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

4:13 Kimberly defines love and talks about a framework to falling in love.

6:04 The three components of love.

10:00 What happens when infatuation or limerence wears off?

17:47 How to overcome the power struggle stage.

25:27 How do you build commitment in a relationship.

30:05 What you should intentionally focus on as a couple when life tries to pull you apart.

34:00 How to cultivate strong attachment?

44:14 How they're helping couples save their struggling relationships at Marriage Helper.

Triangular theory of love by Robert Sternberg (*Wikipedia)

It Starts With Attraction (*Apple Podcast)

Couples Turnaround Workshop mini-course

Websites: marriagehelper.com/kimberly-holmes

Twitter: twitter.com/marriagehelper (7.4k followers)

YouTube: youtube.com/c/MarriageHelper/videos (170k subscribers)

Instagram: instagram.com/marriagehelper (11.4k followers)

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Falling in love is human nature. The moment you are born and see your mother, you form a bond, and that is love. But if falling in love is that easy, why are there so many failed relationships?

In this episode, we'll look into unhealthy relationship experiences, things that we have learned in the past that we tend to repeat in our relationships over and over again. Although these are part of who we are, the good news is that there is something we can do about it. Dr. Thomas Jordan discusses how we can unlearn these unhealthy habits and stop these vicious cycles.

Dr. Thomas Jordan has helped thousands of individuals and couples enjoy more fulfilling relationships and experience more satisfying, longer-lasting love lives as a psychotherapist for the past 33 years. He is the author of a breakthrough book Learn To Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. Dr. Jordan specializes in the treatment of chronic love life problems and founded the educational resource Love Life Learning Center in 2012. In 2017 he launched the Healthy Love Life Seminar, leading love life educational seminars with his wife, a psychotherapist, Victoria Jordan, LCSW. He resides and practices in the Upper West Side of New York City.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

3:49 Three reasons that got Dr. Jordan interested in helping couples and individuals in their love lives.

17:27 Unhealthy relationship experiences that people tend to replicate in their relationships.

22:41 How our experiences and the after-effects influence our love life.

25:51 An overview of the 3-step unlearning method.

40:13 Dr. Jordan defines what a psychological love life is.

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

ERP 238: How to Find Your Emotional Balance in Relationship

Take Him To Court For Child Support?

How To Live Without Love In Your Life?

Websites: lovelifelearningcenter.com

Facebook: facebook.com/Dr.ThomasJordan/?ref=tn_tnmn

Twitter: twitter.com/LLLearningCtr

Instagram: instagram.com/lovelifelearningcenter

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drthomasjordan

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

We are all shaped and informed by our childhood experiences, and these experiences undoubtedly influence how we show up in our relationships. And, while our childhood is a part of who we are, it does not bind us to these limiting beliefs and relational models.

In this episode, we discuss how we can manage our thoughts and change the stories that we tell ourselves. We'll look at Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and how it can help you communicate more effectively and ultimately help us create newfound habits.

Passionate about empowering others to succeed, as a Breakthrough Impostor Syndrome Coach, Linda Bonnar works with high-performing executives to ignite their self-confidence, maximize their potential and be the leaders they were born to be. Combining her fourteen years of experience in education with her wealth of professional coach accreditations, Linda provides business executives and organizations with an outstanding personalized coaching service that educates, empowers, and encourages powerful, successful change through action.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

5:14 How childhood and growing up experiences impact your communication style.

14:54 What helped Linda change her narrative about her husband and previous beliefs.

24:33 The huge difference between being assertive and being aggressive.

27:19 How Linda is helping people with her coaching.

34:36 Things to be aware of and skills you need to learn.

Just Three Things: Bite-size ways to transform your life (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

ERP 248: How to Negotiate Skillfully to Reach a Win-Win in Relationship – An Interview with Juliet Grayson

ERP 238: How to Find Your Emotional Balance in Relationship

ERP 036: How to Offer the Gift of Listening

Shift Criticism Into Connected Communication Course by Dr. Jessica Higgins

Website: lindabonnar.com

Facebook: facebook.com/groups/1395615284019836

Instagram: instagram.com/lindabonnar_lifecoaching

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Do you have to keep reminding your partner to take out the trash or put away the laundry? Well, you are not alone and it can be frustrating when you expect them to do something but they don't. As a result, you'd react negatively, and they'd respond negatively, resulting in a downward spiral that leads to a power struggle.

In this episode, Christal Allen brings to light how decoding expectations can empower you in creating ease and fulfillment in your relationship by changing how you show up in the relationship rather than waiting for the other person to change.

Christal Allen is an accomplished businesswoman, certified coach, and has a relatable down-to-earth vibe that makes you feel safe and cared for. Christal believes that women can change their relationships, household, and environments by how they carry themselves, believe in themselves and care for themselves mentally.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

4:32 An overview of Christal's work.

7:20 The human tendency to focus on what is negatively affecting and how this manifests itself in a relationship.

15:58 The downward spiral that leads to power struggles.

29:01 How Christal is helping couples shift their paradigm.

42:09 A few examples of how this process helped couples in their relationships.

Free 2-minute Quiz to find out "What Kind of Wife or Girlfriend You Are"

Shift Criticism Into Connected Communication Course by Dr. Jessica Higgins

Website: christalallen.com/

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/christal-allen-harrahill-0982b296/?trk=pulse-article_main-author-card

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifecoachchristal/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LifeCoachChristal

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Everyone learns about money differently and these differences shape our perspective on it. And because it's closely linked to our safety and security, it makes it difficult to discuss. However, despite how awkward it may feel, financial conversations are extremely important in relationships.

In this episode, we'll talk about starting a safe conversation with our partner about our finances and how it affects our relationships. We'll delve into understanding the deeper psychological processes to minimize arguments over money and level up the love in your relationship.

Ed Coambs, MBA, CFP, CFT, is an internationally recognized thought leader in financial therapy, who has been cited by the Wall Street Journal, the Associated Press, and Time. He leads couples from financial despair and frustration into financial intimacy and connection using the latest in love and brain science. He earned master's degrees in business, counseling, and financial planning. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified financial planner, and certified financial therapist.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

7:03 How the guys from his workplace and his relationship with his wife inspired Ed to explore financial intimacy.

13:31 How to prepare for a safe conversation about money with your partner.

21:10 Understanding attachment styles and multi-generation attachment and developing a new internal representation of safety and security.

The Healthy Love & Money Way: How the Four Attachment Styles Impact Your Financial Well-Being (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

The Couples Guide To Financial Intimacy

Websites: healthyloveandmoney.com/home

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/healthyloveandmoney

Facebook: facebook.com/healthyloveandmoney

Instagram: instagram.com/healthyloveandmoney

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Fewer and fewer people are opting to get married as time passes by. Is marriage outdated? According to Marcia Naomi Berger, absolutely not. However, marriage has changed.

In this episode, we'll talk about how marriage has changed over the years and why so many marriages fail. We'll discuss some myths and expectations around finding the right partner and we'll delve deeper into understanding the benefits of being marriage-minded and some tips in creating this wonderful connection with you and your partner and so much more.

Marcia Naomi Berger, MSW, LCSW, leads dynamic marriage and communication workshops, is a popular speaker at conferences, a clinical social worker with a private psychotherapy practice, and has taught continuing education classes for therapists at the University of California Berkeley Extension, Alliant International University, and various professional associations. She's the author of Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love and Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

7:08 The crying need for people to learn how to have good relationships skills and create good marriages.

8:05 How has marriage changed over the years.

11:02 What makes a good marriage?

13:55 Myths and expectations that get in the way of a good marriage

16:48 What men think about marriage and what keeps some women from finding the right person to marry.

18:52 The benefits of being marriage-minded.

20:50 Marcia's advice to those who have lost their passion in marriage.

26:11 Tips for keeping the fun alive when there are so many demands.

29:29 How can people recognize and overcome what's getting in the way of a good marriage.

36:13 The Marriage Meeting framework.

Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love (book) (*Amazon affiliate link)

The Marriage Meeting Program: A Strengths-Based Approach for Successful Relationships

Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted (book) (*Amazon affiliate link)

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (book) (*Amazon affiliate link)

ERP 252: How to Deal with Sexual Performance Anxieties - An Interview with Dr. Ian Kerner

Website marcianaomiberger.com

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Our brains are hardwired to seek pleasure and avoid pain and that's what's been keeping us alive. However, that's a problem in this day and age where we have an overabundance of highly potent and reinforcing drugs at the tip of a finger. As a result, there's been a significant increase in the percentage of anxiety, depression, and other psychiatric problems as we are constantly seeking pleasure.

In this episode, we'll learn what's happening in our neurobiology as we seek comfort in a dopamine-rewarding behavior as well as what happens when we learn to tolerate some discomfort. Understanding how our brains work will be extremely beneficial as we consider our personal development and relationships.

Anna Lembke, MD, is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. A clinician scholar, she has published more than a hundred peer-reviewed papers and she sits on the board of several state and national addiction-focused organizations. Her new book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence explores how to moderate compulsive overconsumption in a dopamine overloaded world.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

5:04 Understanding how we develop tendencies for seeking pleasure and overconsumption.

16:06 How social media, other technology, and even food contribute to these tendencies.

18:48 Our propensity to notice the behavior.

24:34 How to start a healthy balance between pain and pleasure.

30:15 Some real-life examples of tolerating the discomfort and its benefits.

Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence (book) (*Amazon affiliate link)

Stanford marshmallow experiment

Website annalembke.com

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

When we talk about mothers, qualities like nurturing, caring, and compassion always come to mind. Mothers are also known for putting everybody else's needs first and theirs last. And for many years, there's been a notion that mothering is a woman's natural role but as it turns out, we all mother regardless of gender and whether or not we have kids.

In this episode, we discuss mothering with emphasis on the concept of self-mothering and how this can support us internally, which can essentially result in having better relationships with our partners.

Dr. Gertrude Lyons is a professional life coach who is focused on exploring, demystifying, and democratizing the maternal power that lies within all women. She believes that motherhood is a transformational journey that all women can take with or without children and together, we can start a new conversation around modern motherhood.

Dr. Lyons is the Lead Faculty member, Senior Life Coach and Director of Family Programs for The Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential.

Through her work, she inspires people to take control of their own personal transformations. She has made it her mission to challenge traditional notions of mothering by facilitating raw, open conversations around mothering, womanhood, and parenthood that no one else is having. She has spent the last 19 years empowering individuals, couples, parents, and families to bring out their best selves through helping them realize meaningful, successful lives, with the aim of bringing new perspectives on personal transformation to as many people as possible.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

6:25 What is self-mothering?

11:31 How she rediscovered herself which ultimately got her interested in diving deeper into self-mothering.

16:27 The purpose of self-mothering.

23:59 How self-mothering looks like in men.

33:19 The deeper inner work: self-validated intimacy.

41:51 Some ways to start self-mothering.

Society of Femininity in Action

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships (book)

Still Face Experiment: Dr. Edward Tronick (YouTube video)

Dr. Jessica Higgins, Psychologist, Relationship & Transformational Coach (Google Review)

Website drgertrudelyons.com

Facebook facebook.com/gertrude.lyons.3

Instagram instagram.com/drgertrudelyon

LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/gertrudelyons/

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

In this episode, we'll discuss an often overlooked skill that is so simple yet has a significant impact on how we negotiate relationships. We'll also talk about some tools and practices that can help us turn our disagreements into meaningful connections with our partners.

Dr. Harville Hendricks and Dr. Helen Hunt are co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy, and a social movement called Safe Conversations. Internationally respected as couple's therapist, educators, speakers, activist, and New York Times bestselling authors. Their 10 books, including the timeless classic Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, have sold more than 4 million copies. Harville appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show 17 times! Helen has been installed in the Women's Hall of Fame and the Smithsonian Institute. The list goes on and on.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

3:56 What safe conversation is and why it's important in building a healthy relationship.

12:58 How these safe conversations in the Imago Dialogue process help the relational culture.

28:19 Simple practices to remind us to value our partners, that they matter, and that we adore them.

39:13 The structure of the Imago Dialogue process: mirroring, validating, and empathizing.

42:54 What the on-duty, off-duty days are and how Helen and Harville use this method to make sure that they are connected when they go to bed.

Imago Relationship Therapy

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

Helen LaKelly Hunt - National Women's Hall of Fame

Meet a Philanthropist - A Conversation With Helen LaKelly Hunt | National Museum of American History

The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)

Still Face Experiment: Dr. Edward Tronick

Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between: A Clinician's Guide

Websites: Harville and Helen and Safe Conversations

Facebook: facebook.com/harvilleandhelen

Twitter: twitter.com/HarvilleHelen

YouTube: Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt

Instagram: instagram.com/harvilleandhelen/

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Just like Roy, some people jump from one relationship to another because they believe that the right person is going to fix their relationship challenges. What they don't realize is that they are just avoiding the pain. Eventually, they get hurt all over again and look for another relationship to fill the void.

In this episode, Roy talks about self-sabotage in relationships, how that happens, and some tips to overcome them.

Roy Biancalana is a certified relationship coach and a nationally recognized expert in the field of attraction and conscious relationships and is the host of the Attracting Lasting Love Podcast. Along with being a frequent TV analyst, Roy is the author of three number one best-selling books, the latest of which is Relationship Bootcamp: Hard-Core Training for Life, Love & the Pursuit of Intimacy.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

3:46 Roy's takeaways from failed relationships and limiting beliefs about love.

24:04 An illustration of self-sabotage and how a coach can help you become more self-aware.

27:42 Roy's seven relationship muscles for a healthy and sustainable connection.

34:12 A few pointers on how to change your mindset and overcome self-sabotage.

43:21 A relationship fitness test to evaluate yourself and how Roy can further assist you to get in great relationship shape.

The Attracting Lasting Love Podcast

RELATIONSHIP BOOTCAMP: Hard-Core Training for Life, Love & the Pursuit of Intimacy book

The Relationship Fitness Test

Website: coachingwithroy.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/coachingwithroy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/coachingwithroy/

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.