The holiday season is here, and while it’s a time for joy and celebration, it can also be overwhelming—especially for women who struggle with people-pleasing. In this episode of Empowering Women in Conversations, Anita Sandoval is joined by Jessica Hope Murph, LMFT, to explore why the holidays are particularly challenging for people pleasers and how to reclaim peace, joy, and authenticity during this time.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why the Holidays Bring Stress for People Pleasers:
  Jessica explains how family programming, perfectionism, and cultural expectations contribute to holiday stress.
• Core Characteristics of People Pleasers:
  Understanding the patterns that lead women to prioritize others' needs and struggle with self-worth.
• Steps to Shift Away from People-Pleasing:
  Practical tips for starting small, such as treating yourself with care and setting boundaries.
• The Power of Assertive Communication:
  Examples of passive, aggressive, and assertive communication styles, and phrases to use in challenging situations.
• The Importance of Peer Support:
  How surrounding yourself with the right people can help you maintain boundaries and build resilience.

BONUS: Listen in to 6 quick survival tips will help you reclaim your worth, set boundaries, and truly enjoy the season. Reclaim Your Worth and Enjoy the Holidays

Memorable Quotes:

• “Stop trying to prove that you're enough and just be enough.” – Jessica Hope Murph, LMFT
• “When you treat yourself like the queen you are, you’re not just practicing self-care—you’re changing your core value to ‘I am enough.’” – Jessica Hope Murph, LMFT

Actionable Tips:

1. Start small with self-care: Take 10 minutes for yourself each morning or treat yourself to something you enjoy.
2. Practice assertive communication: Replace passive or aggressive styles with confident, respectful phrases.
3. Surround yourself with supportive people: Find peer groups or friends who uplift and empower you.

You can reach Jessica Hope Murph:

•  practice: Beyond Boundaries Counseling RGV
•  Couples Boot Camp: 4 Week Online Group Counseling For Couples
• Facebook: facebook.com/BBCRGV
• Youtube: Beyond Boundaries Counseling RGV
• Anita Sandoval’s 5-Day Relief Challenge:Unwind and Relax in 5 Days
  If you enjoyed this episode feel free to listen in to our previous episode: 

Breaking Free: Unmasking Narcissistic Abuse and Empowering the People Pleaser Within

 And remember to subscribe so that you don't have to miss another episode.
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Episode Highlights:

• Understanding Narcissistic Abuse: Definition and insights into how narcissists use coercion, power, and control in relationships.
• The People Pleaser's Plight: Examining why people pleasers become prime targets for narcissistic individuals and how their natural tendencies can prolong toxic dynamics.
• The Mask of Narcissism: Discussing the initial charm and subsequent reveal of a narcissist's true nature, and the psychological impact on their partners.
• Signs and Patterns Overlooked: Identifying the early warning signs that people pleasers often miss, including the dangerous cycle of justification and self-sacrifice.
• Breaking the Cycle: Strategies for recognizing, addressing, and healing from narcissistic abuse, with an emphasis on self-awareness and boundary-setting.

Key Takeaways:

1. Narcissistic Abuse Beyond Physical Harm: Understanding that emotional and psychological manipulation is a form of abuse.
2. The Danger of Mirroring: Recognizing the early phases of a relationship with a narcissist can help prevent deeper entanglement.
3. Empowerment Through Knowledge: Providing listeners with the tools to identify and escape abusive situations.
4. Healing and Recovery: Highlighting the importance of support, therapy, and community in overcoming the effects of narcissistic abuse.

If you want to learn more you can connect with Sybil Cummin at:
Email: [email protected]

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest
Domestic Shelters.org

Follow us on our social media platforms for more resources, and join our community discussions to share your experiences and insights.
If you enjoyed this episode feel free to listen in to our previous episode:
Unmasking Manipulators and Becoming a Woman Empowered!
And remember to subscribe so that you don't have to miss another episode.
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Empowering Women In Conversations

Welcome to my OMST Journey,' a 12-day mini docu series where we delve into the fascinating world of Optometric Multi-Sensory Training (OMST). As a licensed professional counselor with EMDR certification and a background in neurobiology, I'm excited to share my personal experiences with this unique therapy and its potential impact on mental health. About the Series: Join me on this immersive exploration as we focus on various aspects of mental well-being, including: Focus Retention: Discover how OMST influences concentration and attention. Memory Retention and Recall: Explore the effects on memory functions and recall. Restlessness: Addressing feelings of restlessness and finding a sense of calm. Sleep, Dreams, and Nightmares: Uncover the connection between OMST and sleep patterns, dreams, and nightmares. Dissociation Level: Investigating how OMST may influence dissociation experiences. Muscle Tension and Release: Exploring the impact on physical tension and relaxation. Cravings and Urges with Sugar: Discussing the role of OMST in managing cravings and urges, particularly with sugar. Intrusive Distorted Thoughts: How OMST may contribute to managing intrusive and distorted thoughts. Engage with the Journey: This series is more than just a documentation of my experiences – it's an invitation for you to engage and share your thoughts. Feel free to leave comments, questions, and your own insights as we navigate through this 12-day journey together. Subscribe for Daily Updates: Make sure to subscribe to the channel for daily updates. Each video in the playlist will be a chapter of this exciting exploration into OMST and its potential benefits for mental well-being. Are you ready to embark on this journey? Let's dive in!

Subscribe to Follow my Journey with OMST
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1. Personal Transformation: Kate Conwell's journey through infidelity in her marriage, 11 years ago, was an incredibly challenging and painful experience. However, it became a catalyst for personal growth and transformation, prompting her to reexamine her life and the kind of person she wanted to become.
2. The Power of Healing: Kate recognized that healing was necessary, and she decided to pursue it, both individually and with her husband. This journey of healing allowed them to eventually come back together and work on their marriage, which ultimately led to a stronger and more resilient relationship.
3. Creating a Safe Space: Kate's mission, with Journey Beyond Betrayal, is to provide a confidential and supportive environment where women can openly discuss their experiences, feel affirmed in their feelings, and gain a better understanding of what's normal in such situations. It's about ensuring that no one has to face this painful journey alone.
4. You're Not Alone: Kate understands that women who have experienced infidelity often feel isolated, misunderstood, and overwhelmed. She aims to be a guide for these women, offering a place where they can find understanding, support, and healing.

Start creating awareness on Unmasking Manipulators and Becoming a Woman Empowered! 

Some Top Self-Defeating Thoughts of Women who lack Empowering Attributes which lead to being susceptible in unhealthy situations are:

• I am not good enough
• I am not confident enough
• I am not loveable or worthy enough

 I will discuss the importance for people pleasers to know the characteristics of manipulators and on how it will allow you to build healthier relationships. 

Join me as we expose the hidden strategies, tactics, and techniques employed by manipulators in different aspects of life, including personal relationships, workplaces, and even the digital realm

• This podcast aims to shed light on the various ways manipulators can exert control over us.

With a focus on understanding the psychology behind manipulation, we will uncover the underlying motives and intentions of manipulators. By interpreting their behaviors and recognizing the warning signs, you will gain invaluable insights to protect yourself from their influence.

But knowledge alone is not enough. This podcast is all about equipping you with the skills required to counter manipulation and reclaim your personal power. We will explore effective strategies, communication techniques, and self-empowerment practices that can help you break free from manipulator's grasp.

 I will offer you a Quick Tip on:  
The reasons on why Manipulators choose to exploit others and what it compensates for: 

• Whether you have encountered manipulators in your personal relationships, faced manipulation in your workplace, or even experienced it within yourself:

Click Below for the Cheat Sheet:

 Unmasking Manipulators and Becoming A Woman Empowered is your ultimate guide to understanding, unmasking, and ultimately empowering yourself against manipulative individuals


If you want to know if your present relationship is the right one
Finding Mr. Right and Getting Rid of Mr. Wrong

If you have not been able to identify how the Fear of Abandonment and the Pain of Rejection can affect your relationships then listen to the previous episode:
 How to Overcome the Pain of Abandonment and Fear of Rejection

Want to start learning how to Stay True To your Boundaries in Relationships with Ease and Confidence:

 Below I will give you the cheat sheet on how to do just that: 
Stop Sacrificing your Boundaries to Avoid Abandonment

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      Start creating awareness on the situations that increase Stress in Relationships:

Some common situations that increase stress in relationships are when one or the other person says:

• Do not want to be intimate with me
• Do not want to spend the night with me
• Share a difference of opinion
• Loved one Walks away from an Argument

 I will discuss the concepts, techniques, and strategies for:

• Preventing the pattern of bad relationships that keep you stuck on continually falling with toxic partners because you cannot see the warning signs.

 In today's episode I will focus on several goals:

• Ability to be the person you can be in a relationship where the other person can be who they are without being that caregiver for you. 
• To know if they are the one for you, if you like or dislike the person enough to create a connection with them. 

What keeps a person stuck in bad toxic relationships?

• Lack of trust 
• Inability to tolerate unpredictable change causing the nervous system to become dysregulated
• Grew up expecting to be abandoned, mistreated, not have anyone to predictably support them or be there for them so then has created a higher tolerance for unhealthy behaviors and relationships. 

You want to learn on how can you assess other people and see if they are right for you?

Then This Episode is For you!

Some questions you can ask yourself that will help relieve the stress if you want to pursue a relationship with someone?

1.   What did it feel when there was a conflicting view of opinions?
2.   How does this person deal with difficult situations or difficult people?
3. What does their activities and relationships with others reveal about their value system?

 I will offer you a quick tip on:    and click below for the cheat sheet:
The Relief of Finding the Right Type of Person! The Ease in Being able to Filter them out from the Toxic ones more effectively.

Finding Mr. Right and Getting Rid of Mr. Wrong

If you have not been able to identify how the Fear of Abandonment and the Pain of Rejection can affect your relationships then listen to the previous episode:
 How to Overcome the Pain of Abandonment and Fear of Rejection

Want to start learning how to Stay True To your Boundaries in Relationships with Ease and Confidence:

 Below I will give you the cheat sheet on how to do just that: 
Stop Sacrificing your Boundaries to Avoid Abandonment

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                                  Stop Sacrificing your Boundaries to Avoid Abandonment

Some common symptoms causing stress in Relationships due to issues of Abandonment are when your:

• Inner Neediness can lead to you lowering your standards
• Personal boundaries that you have worked so hard to create are compromised
• Focused on the other person in a way to avoid focusing on themselves and therefore:
  •  Put up with things such as disrespectful treatment
  •  Put up with somebody’s addiction 
  • Put up with somebody cheating 

 I will discuss the concepts, techniques, and strategies for:

• A positive support system or professional help to face the fear and pain of abandonment/rejection and find ways that do not include someone that will trigger your self-awareness on feelings of safety, belonging, loving oneself, and thoughts of being worthy and deserving of it. 

 In today's episode I will focus on several goals:

• Ability to self-regulate better and be emotionally and mentally stable with other people with healthier relationships while making your own needs matter simultaneously. 
• Get to the point of wanting to protect your boundaries and be more attentive to what may be triggering your abandonment fears. 

What keeps a person stuck in emotional pain?

On one side of the stick you  (want boundaries)
on the other side, you want (love and connection)
now the question is how much pain and suffering are you willing to deal with?

How much personal sacrifice are you willing to risk in order to get that connection?

Then This Episode is For you!

Some questions you can ask yourself that will help relieve the stress in relationships?
1.   Whatever the reward was, how long did it last?
2.   What am I getting from doing this behavior?
3.   Is there another way I can be able to obtain the necessary feeling sensation without doing this needy behavior? 

 I will offer you a quick tip on:   
7 Steps on How to Stop Sacrificing your Boundaries

If you have not been able to identify how the Fear of Abandonment and the Pain of Rejection can affect your relationships then listen to the previous episode:
 How to Overcome the Pain of Abandonment and Fear of Rejection

Want to start learning how to Stay True To your Boundaries in Relationships with Ease and Confidence:

 Below I will give you the cheat sheet on how to do just that: 
Stop Sacrificing your Boundaries to Avoid Abandonment

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 Who becomes overly needy and clingy in order to avoid abandonment?
Fear of abandonment and rejection in terms of clinginess/neediness in relationships are shown in two common ways: 

• When you choose the most undependable person to connect with 
• When you become so controlling in order to have your own needs met that you end up pushing the other person away. 

In this episode I will discuss the concepts, techniques and strategies for:
People who become overly needy and clingy in order to avoid abandonment
         I will discuss 5 ways on how to change fearful behaviors that sets up for more abandonment and the effects on how such behaviors creates havoc in the person's relationship.
 In today's episode I will focus on several goals:

• The true cost of the behaviors and whether it’s a cost that might be too high
• Awareness of the distinction between what you feel and what you do.
  You can feel needy but you can’t be demanding to your partner and expect them to tolerate your emotions of neediness and clinginess.
  
  

If you are still struggling on tolerating the ability to  appreciate your partner’s self-care 

The ability to have your partner say no sometimes, you appreciate it and celebrate your own capacity hear the no and not take it personal

Then This Episode is For you!

I will go over the common symptoms on living in a relationship with unhealthy needy and clingy behaviors such as:

• A person will have unrealistic expectations of other people that lead to some very unhealthy dynamics on expecting them to be responsible for your emotions.

Abandonment fears expresses these fears in accusatory behaviors: 

• Jealous fantasies, (where were you last night), what were you doing, then worry about other signs of abandonment 
• You’re thinking of leaving me- friends, family members romantic partners 

Some questions you can ask yourself that stem from neediness and clingy behaviors 

• In what way has being clingy and needy protected me in the short term?
• How would you like your life to change?

How are things now and how would you like them to be?   I will offer you a quick tip on:   
5 ways to. Change fearful behavior that sets up more abandonment
If you have not been able to identify how the Fear of Abandonment and the Pain of Rejection can affect your relationships then listen to the previous episode:
 How to Overcome the Pain of Abandonment and Fear of Rejection

Want to start learning on how to Overcome the Clingy and Needy Behaviors in Relationships:
 Below I will give you the cheat sheet on how to do just that: 
How to Overcome Clingy and Needy Relationships

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Overcoming the Fear of Rejection and Pain of Abandonment

• What fuels the fear of rejection and pain of abandonment?
• What are the habits that keep the fear of rejection and abandonment present?

This episode is the first part of a series that will discuss the concepts, techniques and strategies for Fear of Rejection and the pain of abandonment that happens within human society.
The challenging part is that no one really talks about it, so I decided to incorporate this episode on the in’s and out of what encompasses the fear of rejection, pain of abandonment and on how you can begin to get out of that mindset into a healthier one of being accepted and feelings that you belong and are lovable.
 In today's episode I will focus on several goals:

•  Awareness on how unrewarding it is to be constantly hyper vigilant toward rejection and the pain of abandonment.
•   Several techniques in self regulating with that part of you that is hypersensitive to rejection and abandonment
• You will be able to identify an association with your emotions & body sensations that are sensitive to rejection and abandonment.

If you are still struggling on tolerating the ability to walk into the sensation of being rejected and not take it personally, then listen to this episode to help you out: 

• How to Know your Values

I will go over the common symptoms on living life with fear of rejection and pain of abandonment:

• General anxiousness in social settings
• Focusing only on the area that looks like rejections and filter out all the other positive messaging and examples to the contrary within the same experienced event. 

Some correlated unhelpful thoughts that stem from rejection and abandonment are: 

• What is wrong with me?
• What did I do wrong?

   I will offer you a quick tip on:   
Taking the Panic of the unhealthy sensations and emotions out of your body and offer something reassuring to say to yourself about this symptom that would make you feel better.
If you have not been able to identify how to set loving limits and boundaries listen to the previous episode Just click on the link below to find out:

• How to set Loving Limits and Boundaries

Want to start learning on how to take the negative sensations from rejection and abandonment from your body : Below I will give you the cheat sheet on how to do just that:  Body Scan To Regulate the Nervous System

Leave a Comment on what situations trigger your fear of rejection and abandonment.
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                             Our values refl­ect what we find meaningful in life.

They are what you care about, deep down, and what you consider to be important. Everybody’s values are different, and they can change over time. They re­flect how we want to engage with the world, with the people around us, and with ourselves.

     In today's episode I will focus on several goals:

•   Strategies on how to make "A Valued Based Decision."
•   Awareness on whether your decisions are" Emotional vs. Value Based Decisions"
•   Quick Tip to Problem Solving with Your Values

If you are still struggling on saying "NO" and quickly tend to react to saying yes often then listen to this episode to help you out: 

• Stop Saying YES so much and Start Saying NO with Ease and Confidence

I will go over the common symptoms on living life with lack of values and clarity such as:

• Inaction
• Procrastination 
•  Not doing enough of what matters most to you

Lack of Values and correlated behaviors describe how problems can stem from.

                     I will offer you a quick tip on:
                    Problem Solving with your Values
 
If you have not been able to identify what your top values are; listen to the previous episode Just click on the link below to find out:

• How to know your Values 

You will be able to identify an association between different activities and your emotions with behaviors are inclusive to your Values.

    Obtaining value Based Behaviors have resulted in positive rewards such as:

• Having positive relationships with other people that make us feel connected and valued.
• Connecting with the present moment and being authentic within ourselves.
• It will bring about a chance to grow and develop an increase sense of achievement within ourselves.

Want to start learning on how to make a value based decision.

Below I will give you the workbook on this episode and link to discover the steps in learning on how to begin making those important decisions based on your values.

Free Workbook to align your decisions and behaviors with your values!

Leave a Comment on what Decisions you made based on your Values.

Quote of the Day:
"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are."
--Roy Disney--

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