Encouragementology

Encouragementology

By Kendell BoysenHealth & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-Improvement
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Encouragementology episodes

  • Why Do I Feel Off Even When Everything Looks Fine?

    SHOW NOTES:

    Why do I feel off even when everything looks fine? If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, you’re not alone. Sometimes life appears to be going well on the outside, yet something inside feels unsettled. In this episode of Encouragementology, we explore why that disconnect happens and how comparison, unrealistic expectations, emotional misalignment, and the stories we tell ourselves can quietly shape our perspective. Instead of assuming something is wrong, you’ll learn how to pause, investigate your feelings with curiosity, and reconnect with what’s actually true. This conversation will help you stop chasing someone else’s version of “enough” and start appreciating the ordinary moments that often become the most meaningful parts of a well-lived life.

    Here is what we unpack together:
    • Why feeling “off” doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with your life.
    • The difference between emotions that inform us and emotions that mislead us.
    • How the arrival fallacy keeps moving the finish line for happiness.
    • Why social comparison makes us feel like we’re missing out, even when we’re not.
    • A simple personal inventory to help separate facts from interpretations.
    • How to identify whether you’re chasing an object or the emotion you hope it will provide.
    • Practical ways to reconnect with what’s true before making major life changes.
    • Why we’ve lost the ability to appreciate ordinary life and how to reclaim it.
    • The surprising freedom that comes from questioning the stories your mind creates.
    • How curiosity, discernment, and gratitude can help you find peace without changing your circumstances.

      • CHALLENGE: Become a detective instead of a critic. When that quiet feeling tells you something is missing, don’t rush to change your life. Pause, get curious, and ask yourself what story you’re believing and whether it’s actually true. You may discover that the peace you’ve been searching for wasn’t waiting somewhere else…it was waiting for you to see your life with clearer eyes.



      I Know YOU Can Do It!



      🎶 Music that Moves the Message

      All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

       

      Find more of Matt’s music here:

      MATT MARTINO

      Spotify

      iTunes

      Youtube

      30 min
    • The Two Things You Can Control: Your Inner World and Your Outer Influence

      SHOW NOTES:

      The Two Things You Can Control: Your Inner World and Your Outer Influence explores one of life’s most freeing truths: while we can’t control every thought that enters our minds or every outcome that follows our actions, we can choose what we welcome into our hearts and what we release into the world. In this episode, we’ll discover how living with greater intentionality can quiet mental clutter, strengthen our relationships, and remind us of the incredible influence we possess every single day. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by circumstances beyond your control, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on where your true power begins.

      Here is what we unpack together:
      • Why trying to control everything often leaves us mentally and emotionally exhausted.
      • The powerful image of the “two gates” and how it can transform your daily perspective.
      • How to let difficult thoughts pass like clouds instead of allowing them to take up residence in your mind.
      • The difference between noticing a thought and believing a thought.
      • Why every word, attitude, and action becomes the first link in a chain of influence.
      • Insights from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Viktor Frankl, and James Clear on choice, attention, and intentional living.
      • Four practical ways to become more intentional with both your inner world and your outward influence.
      • The surprising difference between protecting your peace and producing peace.
      • How small, everyday choices shape not only your experience but also the lives of those around you.
      • A reflective devotional and weekly challenge to help you practice intentionality at both gates.

        • Remember: You may not control every cloud that drifts overhead or every link that follows your actions, but you always have the power to choose what you welcome in and what you send back out.

        CHALLENGE: Pause at both gates. Before you give a thought permission to stay, ask if it deserves your attention. Before you offer a word or reaction to someone else, ask if it’s the first link you want to place in the chain. Remember, your greatest influence isn’t found in controlling everything around you, but in being intentional with what begins within you.



        I Know YOU Can Do It!



        🎶 Music that Moves the Message

        All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

         

        Find more of Matt’s music here:

        MATT MARTINO

        Spotify

        iTunes

        Youtube

        30 min
      • The Stories You Keep Telling Yourself: And Why They Become Your Identity
        Show Notes

        The Stories You Keep Telling Yourself: And Why They Become Your Identity explores the quiet conversations we have with ourselves every day and how those repeated thoughts can shape the way we see our potential, our purpose, and our future. If you’ve ever caught yourself saying, “I’m just not…” or “I always…”, this episode will help you recognize the difference between a temporary experience and a permanent identity. Together, we’ll uncover why our brains cling to familiar stories, how those stories influence our choices, and how small shifts in language can open the door to lasting growth and hope.

        Here is what we unpack together:
        • How everyday self-talk quietly becomes the foundation of our identity.
        • The difference between describing an experience and defining yourself by it.
        • Why your brain naturally looks for evidence to support the stories you repeat.
        • How confirmation bias and negativity bias can keep you stuck in limiting beliefs.
        • The surprising power of one small word: “yet.”
        • A simple self-evaluation to uncover the hidden labels you’ve been carrying.
        • Four practical ways to interrupt old narratives and create room for growth.
        • Why telling the whole story, not just the painful chapters, leads to a healthier perspective.
        • How to replace criticism with curiosity and become a more compassionate narrator of your own life.
        • A reflective devotional and practical challenge to help you begin rewriting the story you tell yourself every day.

          • Remember: Your hardest chapter may explain part of your story, but it was never meant to become your name.

          CHALLENGE: Catch just one story you keep telling yourself and ask, “Is this really who I am… or is this simply what I’ve been repeating?” Replace that old label with one sentence that leaves room for growth, and see how it changes the way you move through your day. 

            

           

          I Know YOU Can Do It!



          🎶 Music that Moves the Message

          All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

           

          Find more of Matt’s music here:

          MATT MARTINO

          Spotify

          iTunes

          Youtube

          30 min
        • Are You Living Life or Producing It?

          SHOW NOTES: Are You Living Life or Producing It?

          Living Life or Producing It? Why Some Moments Are Meant to Be Lived, Not Posted explores a question many of us don’t stop to ask: Are we experiencing life as it unfolds, or are we evaluating it for its shareability? In this episode of Encouragementology, we examine how our relationship with technology, attention, and validation may be quietly shaping the way we experience our days. This isn’t a conversation about abandoning social media. It’s an invitation to become more intentional, protect your capacity for wonder, and rediscover the richness of moments that don’t require an audience to be meaningful.

          Here is what we unpack together:
          • The subtle difference between living a life and producing one.
          • How our attention shapes our memories more than we realize.
          • Why documenting every moment can sometimes diminish our experience of it.
          • What research reveals about memory, presence, and digital distraction.
          • The difference between seeking genuine connection and seeking validation.
          • Why some of life’s most meaningful moments are never shared online.
          • How private experiences can deepen gratitude, identity, and personal growth.
          • Practical ways to become more intentional before reaching for your phone.
          • The importance of protecting your capacity for wonder in a world competing for your attention.
          • A simple question that can transform the way you experience each day: “Am I living this moment…or am I producing it?”

            • CHALLENGE: Protect your capacity for wonder by giving your full attention to one ordinary moment every day. Remember, a meaningful life isn’t measured by how many people see it, but by how fully you live it.



            I Know YOU Can Do It!



            🎶 Music that Moves the Message

            All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

             

            Find more of Matt’s music here:

            MATT MARTINO

            Spotify

            iTunes

            Youtube

             

            30 min
          • What if You Need More, Not Less: The Mindset Shift that Makes Healthy Habits Last
            SHOW NOTES:

            What if You Need More, Not Less: The Mindset Shift That Makes Healthy Habits Last explores a simple question with life-changing implications: Are we spending so much energy trying to eliminate what’s unhealthy that we’ve forgotten to cultivate what truly nourishes us? In this episode, we move beyond dieting to examine how the same mindset affects our relationships, emotional well-being, finances, faith, and personal growth. Together, we’ll discover why lasting habits aren’t built through deprivation but through intentionally adding more of what helps us flourish, mind, body, spirit, and connection.

            Here is what we unpack together:
            • Why discipline and deprivation are not the same thing, and why confusing them can keep us stuck.
            • The surprising power of asking, “What do I need more of?” instead of “What do I need less of?”
            • How focusing on nourishment creates healthier, more sustainable habits than relying on restriction alone.
            • Insights from habit experts about why lasting change comes from identity, environment, and small, consistent choices.
            • A simple coaching exercise that helps you shift from problem-focused thinking to possibility-focused living.
            • Four practical mindset shifts that can transform the way you approach health, relationships, productivity, and personal growth.
            • The “B-Side” perspective: why saying “yes” to what gives life can be more powerful than constantly saying “no.”
            • A memorable garden story that illustrates the difference between pulling weeds and intentionally planting flowers.
            • A gentle devotional reflection on staying connected to the people, practices, and values that nourish your life.
            • A practical challenge to identify one area where you can intentionally cultivate more of what helps you thrive this week.

              • CHALLENGE: Don’t begin by asking, “What do I need less of?” Instead, ask yourself, “What do I need more of?” Remember, lasting change isn’t built by emptying your life. It’s built by filling your life with what helps you flourish. 

               

              I Know YOU Can Do It!



              🎶 Music that Moves the Message

              All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

               

              Find more of Matt’s music here:

              MATT MARTINO

              Spotify

              iTunes

              Youtube

              30 min
            • Is This It? Rethinking Success, Discontent, and the Midlife Audit

              SHOW NOTES

              Is This It? Rethinking Success, Discontent, and the Midlife Audit explores the quiet questions many of us face when we pause long enough to evaluate our lives. While the phrase “midlife crisis” often brings to mind dramatic life changes, this episode offers a different perspective. What if what we’re experiencing isn’t a crisis at all, but a thoughtful audit? Together, we examine where feelings of discontent come from, how we’ve learned to measure success, and why many of us are using scorecards that no longer reflect what truly matters. This conversation invites you to look beyond comparison, reconsider your definition of success, and find greater appreciation for the life you’re already living while intentionally shaping the chapters still ahead.

              Here is what we unpack together:

              • Why a “midlife audit” is often a healthier way to view periods of reflection and discontent
              • How comparison and inherited expectations quietly shape our definition of success
              • The difference between achievement and fulfillment, and why they don’t always travel together
              • What happiness research reveals about the natural questions that emerge during middle chapters of life
              • How the “arrival fallacy” keeps us believing satisfaction exists just beyond the next milestone
              • Why many people evaluate themselves using standards they never consciously chose
              • The importance of looking at the whole picture instead of defining life by one area of disappointment
              • How updating your personal scorecard can create greater alignment between your values and your daily life
              • Why discontent isn’t always a problem to solve and may actually be valuable information
              • A simple story about a gardener that reminds us not to overlook everything that’s flourishing while focusing on what feels unfinished

                • Download the free 5-Day Journaling Companion to continue your own Midlife Audit and explore the questions raised in this episode.

                CHALLENGE: Conduct your own midlife audit this week. Take an honest look at the scorecard you’ve been using and ask yourself whether it still reflects what matters most. Notice the areas where you’ve been measuring yourself too harshly. Pay attention to the parts of your life that are quietly flourishing. Then decide what deserves your energy moving forward.



                I Know YOU Can Do It!



                🎶 Music that Moves the Message

                All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

                 

                Find more of Matt’s music here:

                MATT MARTINO

                Spotify

                iTunes

                Youtube

                30 min
              • Why We Want a Home-Cooked Life on Microwave Time

                SHOW NOTES

                We live in a world that celebrates speed. Faster shipping, faster answers, faster results, and faster solutions. But what happens when that mindset spills into every area of our lives? In this episode, we’re exploring why so many of us want a home-cooked life on microwave time and what we may be losing in the rush. Together, we’ll examine the value of anticipation, the hidden gifts found in the process, and why some of life’s most meaningful experiences simply can’t be accelerated. If you’ve ever felt impatient with your progress, frustrated by the pace of change, or tempted to rush through a season of life, this conversation is for you.

                Here is what we unpack together:

                • Why a home-cooked meal is about more than food and what it reveals about the life we truly want

                • How convenience has shaped our expectations far beyond technology and everyday tasks

                • The difference between efficiency and fulfillment

                • Why anticipation is often part of the joy rather than an obstacle to it

                • How modern life has reduced our tolerance for waiting and uncertainty

                • The danger of treating growth, healing, and relationships like instant transactions

                • Why the middle of the journey often feels uncomfortable but is where transformation occurs

                • A simple way to identify where you’re expecting microwave results from a home-cooked process

                • The B-side perspective: What if life isn’t waiting on the other side of the process?

                • How learning to savor the journey can lead to deeper satisfaction, gratitude, and presence

                  • If this episode resonated with you, be sure to download the companion journaling guide and continue exploring where patience, anticipation, and growth are showing up in your own life.

                  CHALLENGE: Identify one area of your life where you’ve been demanding microwave results from a home-cooked process. Slow down long enough to savor it instead of rushing through it. Remember, the process isn’t standing between you and your life. The process is your life.



                  I Know YOU Can Do It!

                   

                  🎶 Music that Moves the Message

                  All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

                   

                  Find more of Matt’s music here:

                  MATT MARTINO

                  Spotify

                  iTunes

                  Youtube

                  30 min
                • In the Place You Least Want to Look

                  SHOW NOTES:

                  What if the thing you've been searching for isn't missing at all? What if it's waiting in the one place you've been unwilling to look? In this episode, we explore why we avoid certain conversations, decisions, emotions, and opportunities, and how that avoidance often costs us more energy than facing the issue itself. Together, we'll look at the stories we tell ourselves, the fears that keep us circling the same challenges, and the surprising possibility that what we've been avoiding may actually be pointing us toward growth, clarity, and freedom.

                  Here is what we unpack together:

                  • Why the place you least want to look may hold the answer you've been searching for.
                  • How avoidance disguises itself as busyness, research, preparation, and waiting for the "right time."
                  • The hidden emotional cost of carrying unresolved issues in the background of your life.
                  • Why "it's complicated" is often another way of saying "it's hard."
                  • Carl Jung's insight about making the darkness conscious and what that means for personal growth.
                  • How Steven Pressfield's concept of Resistance can help identify what matters most.
                  • The difference between facts and the stories we create about our fears.
                  • A simple flashlight exercise to help identify the area of life that may need your attention.
                  • Why discomfort isn't always a warning sign and may actually be evidence of growth.
                  • The surprising B-side perspective that what you're avoiding may not be an obstacle at all, but a teacher, a lesson, or even an opportunity.

                    • Resources Mentioned

                    • The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
                    • Insights from Carl Jung on self-awareness and personal growth
                    • Brené Brown's work on vulnerability, courage, and the stories we tell ourselves

                      • CHALLENGE: Identify one thing you’ve been walking around instead of through. Shine a flashlight on it, tell yourself the truth about it, and take a single step toward addressing it this week. The place you least want to look may be holding the clarity, freedom, or growth you’ve been searching for all along.



                      I Know YOU Can Do It!

                       

                      🎶 Music that Moves the Message

                      All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

                       

                      Find more of Matt’s music here:

                      MATT MARTINO

                      Spotify

                      iTunes

                      Youtube

                      30 min
                    • Who Do You Think You Are? Rewriting the Question

                      SHOW NOTES:

                       

                      What if the stories you've been telling yourself aren't the only stories available? In this episode of Encouragementology, we explore the power of perspective and how the meaning we assign to our experiences can shape our confidence, choices, and future. Through personal reflection, thought-provoking examples, and the wisdom found in both childhood wonder and adult experience, we'll examine how rewriting the question can help us discover new possibilities. Sometimes the circumstances don't change, but the way we see them changes everything.

                       

                      Here is what we unpack together:

                       

                      • Why two people can experience the same situation and walk away with completely different stories

                        •  

                        • How the question "Who do you think you are?" can become either a limitation or an invitation

                          •  

                          • The difference between an event and the meaning we assign to it

                            •  

                            • How our brains naturally seek evidence to support what we already believe

                              •  

                              • Why "What you seek, you will find" is more than a motivational phrase

                                •  

                                • Lessons from A Field of Wishes and the childlike ability to find wonder in ordinary moments

                                  •  

                                  • How asking "What else could be true?" creates space for growth and possibility

                                    •  

                                    • Why perspective is not about ignoring reality but expanding it

                                      •  

                                      • The power of holding multiple truths at the same time without choosing one over the other

                                        •  

                                        • How rewriting your interpretation can help rewrite your future

                                          • CHALLENGE: Notice one story you’ve been telling yourself and ask, “Is this the only way to see it?” Before accepting your first interpretation as the truth, pause long enough to consider what else might be possible. Rewrite the question, and you may just discover a new answer waiting for you.



                                          I Know YOU Can Do It!

                                           

                                          🎶 Music that Moves the Message

                                          All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

                                           

                                          Find more of Matt’s music here:

                                          MATT MARTINO

                                          Spotify

                                          iTunes

                                          Youtube

                                          30 min
                                        • Whatever You Don’t Face in the Light, You’ll Face in the Dark

                                          SHOW NOTES:

                                          Whatever we avoid doesn’t usually disappear, it waits. In this episode of Encouragementology, we explore the emotional weight of avoidance and the quiet exhaustion that comes from carrying unresolved issues in the dark. From difficult conversations and hidden stress to shame, grief, fear, and procrastination, we unpack why people delay facing hard things and how bringing even a small amount of honesty into the light can create freedom, clarity, and movement. This conversation is not about exposure or perfection, it’s about gently acknowledging what has been asking for your attention and discovering that many things are far less impossible once they are finally faced.

                                          Here is what we unpack together:
                                          • Why avoidance often feels safer than honesty in the short term
                                            • • The emotional difference between something being “complicated” versus simply hard
                                            • How hidden stress quietly drains our peace, energy, and confidence
                                            • Why unresolved issues tend to grow larger in isolation and secrecy
                                            • The surprising connection between avoidance and anxiety
                                            • How shame thrives in darkness while healing begins with honesty
                                            • The role survival patterns and emotional self-protection play in avoidance
                                            • Why facing something does not mean solving everything overnight
                                            • Practical ways to slowly “let light in” without overwhelming yourself
                                            • The freedom that comes from finally stopping the internal negotiation and telling yourself the truth

                                            CHALLENGE: Stop negotiating with the thing that’s been quietly stealing your peace. Name it honestly. Bring one small part of it into the light this week, even if that simply means admitting the truth to yourself for the first time. Remember, healing rarely begins with giant leaps. It usually begins with one brave, honest step forward.



                                            I Know YOU Can Do It!




                                            🎶 Music that Moves the Message

                                            All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.

                                             

                                            Find more of Matt’s music here:

                                            MATT MARTINO

                                            Spotify

                                            iTunes

                                            Youtube

                                            30 min

                                          About Encouragementology

                                          From the publisher's feed

                                          Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!