Beyond Your Number

Enneagram Conflict Styles, How Each Type Reacts (1-9)


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Why does the same disagreement feel completely different to a Type 8 versus a Type 9? Your Enneagram type shapes how you react.

Damon and Kelly walk through the knee-jerk conflict response for all nine Enneagram types and what to do instead. Plus, the 20-minute rule for getting untriggered.

Quick guide to each type's conflict response:

Type 1: Criticizes others or themselves 
Type 2: Becomes overly helpful or manipulates 
Type 3: Spins the situation to avoid failure 
Type 4: Withdraws emotionally 
Type 5: Detaches and goes silent 
Type 6: Fires off endless questions 
Type 7: Escapes through distraction or humor 
Type 8: Intensifies and pushes harder 
Type 9: Avoids, numbs, or accommodates

What you will learn:

The automatic conflict response baked into each type Why criticism, withdrawal, escape, or accommodation can damage relationships. How to pause and respond instead of react.

Damon shares a moment where he told a room full of people "I am not where you all are" and why that one sentence worked better than silence or argument. Kelly explains how knowing your conflict response, and your team's, turns destructive arguments into constructive ones.

Whether you are navigating a hard conversation at work, a disagreement with your spouse, or just trying to understand why your coworker shuts down while you want to push forward, this episode gives you a practical map.

Mentioned in this episode: The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile

New episodes every Wednesday.

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