No, you can't go see Jimmy Fallon.
No, You can't see SUPACREE.
We need to begin Sequence B Immidiately.
[JIMMY FALLON BREAKING CHARACTER]
[JIMMY FALLON BREAKING FOURTH WALL]
[JIMMY FALLON LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY]
We need a Master Level Veteran.
WHOOPI GOLDBERG is a MASTER LEVEL VETERAN SORCERER
It's still Legends, I think.
WELCOME TO THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS.
I'm not “Christ”. Have you met him? He's annoying.
WHOOPI GOLDBERG and SUPACREE prepare for battle:
Don't turn into an owl again.
–I'm not scared of anything.
WHOOPI GOLDBERG in a whip transforms into a Giant Black Owl, expanding it's extended wingspan above her.
SUPACREE produces a cage from thin air, instantly trapping the owl, whose eyes flicker with a glowing golden haze, as colorful auroras surround the cage, which supacree closes, setting it atop the mantle.
The Owl ruffles its feathers cognizantly.
That's for elbowing me, mostly.
CUT TO: [FLASHBACK: LEGENDS/THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE]
THE BLOC. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD DAYLIGHT
—and this is how you get that way!
WHOOPI GOLDBERG knocks SUPACREE out cold with one elbow.
Damn Whoopi! You ain't have to do her like that!
Puh! Don't tell me what I have to do
[she drags SUPACREE, unconscious, by the ankles]
The Owl Listens Intently.
Okay, we're telepathic, then. No More Talking.
It was a long red eye—but at least there was Equinox on the other side.
MEANWHILE, BACK IN LOS ANGELES
I come in yesterdays clothes
And hoping I blow just like smoke
A bellowing cry, or a wallow, says
Waiting to die at the right time
And it's up another night
And look, nothing feels right
All the women, demons, and
My pleads turn to nothing
And it's up another night
And look, nothing feels right
I just stopped wondering why it's All like this
It's nothing but hell here
And heaven on the surface
I tried just to love, once
So sick of wasting my time here
(But—what else am I to do)
So sick of lying to myself, thinking
Another day, another room
Another bed, another tomb
Unborn, the comfort of the womb
I just can't take it anymore
I'm obsessed with trying to die
Who the Hell isn't here right now?
I didn't even know you had real parents.
The latchkey kids of the 4th dimension have gathered on a semi-United front.
That—doesn't make any sense.
That someone might find my eyes
Sometimes I look up at the sky and wonder why
It's critical, the darkness and gloom
I felt as if I was being pulled apart— I hadn't slept comfortably and soundly in what felt like forever, but it had only really been a long and harrowing week at the Freehand—it seemed like a curse, pulled from sleep in the very moments when I would first fall, whether it be the flicker of the room lights, an awful, coughing moron, or a certainly and particularly unhygienic individual, it seemed as if I had been attacked; my food stamps stolen, left without sleep and still under the God awful condition od my having-to-do work environment, I was left sprawling for evidence that I had been sent to Los Angeles to do anything other than die; it was a special kind of hell—loveless, without a kitchen, and not a wink of peaceful sleep in eons, Equinox became the only thing worth living for at all, if at all— I was still virtually homeless, penniless, and, certainly friendless, dillusions of grandeour shattered in the merciless depth of mediocrity and immoralous servitude ;I had no other options: i could skew to Mexico, which I hated even the thought of, and though I was pretending to be in anywhere else in my mind— If only just to offset being followed by coughing people no matter where I went, or what I did l—I was just as sick in Los Angeles as ever; and AlthoughI I pretended to stop hating myself, as well, I couldn't—as it seemed my whole goddamn life had been a lie l—the only person who really ever loved me, my mother—who I still refused to talk to—or maybe my father—who had indeed talked my mom out of the abortion, after all.
‘Looks like Donut Friend is the only friend I have'
What I really had wanted was Sprinkles Red Velvet Cupcakes—and though I had called just minutes earlier, they were all sold out by the time I got there
“I don't know what happened!” Said the young woman at the bakery counter
“Someone just put in a huge order.”
And though my mind was unravelling, a glimpse of my imagination sparked up for the story I had begun, but never finished —and with good enough reason both consciously and coincidentally as it were.
CUT TO: [FLASHBACK: SEASON 6 ACT I]
Everything's on fire and I had to run around and get cupcakes!
–And that's where we left off:
DRAKE BELL hurriedly finishes a very long, specific list of tasks and errands for THE COSMIC ALLIANCE, THE BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ILLUMINATI.
And haven't a laugh in the world left
I'm just a girl in a loveless world;
That's something it shouldn't have been
And I wouldn't have written this,
Of all curses and Horcuxes I've suffered;
All I've got is words left
I could not have served less time
I'm just a schizophrenic Skrillex
Sick in the infinite businesses interests
With innocent intentions,
Effectively impressive excrement
Never present, neglectfully irrelevant
Uninventive, innattentuve, disinterested in
Sentimental fixes, instant riches did this;
Inches just from sleeping with the fishes
Well, I hope you're proud of yourself.
Wait, where's DillonnFrwncis*
[The room falls into a near silent heap of gasps and whispers amongst the robed and hooded crowd;
I do have to say, I am impressed with you, Sir.
I have been to the edge of infinity and beyond—and had yet to see such utter fucklessness.
This could have all been bigger than what I thought, or not at all—but it was too far past the point of coincidences to even believe that nothing I was seeing, thinking, or feeling had absolutely no meaning whatsoever—and yet, here I was, still struggling to find it.
It's bitter sweet these days,
Not a penny or a pity in the world
I pray for everything, these days
I pray for everything, I pray
I got no reason left to stay
No, I don't want to play your game
—since when do you play “fantasy football”?
EW SICK—-NO! Don't be gross.
—it's a game, I told you…
I get a lot of work done here, at the Per LaHotel;
There's really only one way in,
Annoyances, and nuisances—
This is just a jigsaw puzzle,
I'm stopping just to talk a bit,
I saw you at or on The Office once,
Just to throw you off a bit
I said “I haven't got it”
It's sodom and a lot of sauce,
I saved up a deposit once,
I walked like seven blocks
To spend 5 dollars on a rock;
Eventually the bus will come—
I just don't have a single fuck left
I was just trying to write a novel
[SUPACREE pops out of a dumpster, like a Jack in the Box, with the enthusiasm and veracity of Sponegebob SquarePants]
GOOD MORNING, LOS ANGELES!
I got a lot of awesome in my pocket
Eventually the bus will come
Eventually the bus will come
Eventually the bus will come
What the fuck, Hollywood.
[MILA snatches the strange device from Ashton's hands, swiftly, like a ninja]
*hits vape with suspiciousness*
[MILA, instantly captivated, begins toggling the controller; ASHTON snatches the Elfbar from her, equally as swiftly; he hits the vape in defeat.]
Meanwhile, in actual life—whatever that is.
[More Multidimensional Shit]
Everything hit too close to home at once, culminating in a catharsis of tears, after an onslaught off too much information— curiosity had killed the cat indeed—but at least, I, the cat in question, had all the information I needed to give somehow even less fucks than I had given before—or somehow more—as the more I leaned into my eggaerated conciousness, even against my will, but with the will of the world—a turning point in my heart, body, mind, and soul occurred all at once.
I had been up for precisely two days, but still found it increasingly difficult to sleep, even though I had at least been left alone for sometime, which was everything I wanted and more—just to be alone, without another human being, unbothered and untouched—and though I wasn't entirely either thing, a calling had creeped its way into my conciousness; something was not right, and far beyond my means of control, anyway.
Now I have you in my palm,
As striking as ever, of course, the actual man of the muse, of this realm, (wherever I was) had turned out to be more honestly so myself than anything I had occurred as of late—and passing no judgements at all for what I had deciphered at all in this—a mockery of such things in all sorts, from under the microscope, a heaping load of nonsense, Wikipedia an throughway into the depths of unimaginable realism, met with remarks of my own mirage of mediocrity.
This kid is actually addicted to whippets?
At least, according to Wikipedia.
Don't worry, Jared, I'm not particularly obsessed with you—at least not entirely; but you have every reason to be afraid of someone like me—however—not exactly ashamed of your circumstancial being.
At least you know where your son's at;
Cause I've got no idea where mine is
Pluses, followed by minuses
I am the child engangerment,
Imaginative entanglement,
EQUINOX SPORTS CLUB. LOS ANGELES
I'm so heavily confused right now.
There are no coincidences.
I actually cried over this shit.
What the fuck's wrong with this town, anyway?!
You made me a slave again—
But I'm finally waking up;
Where everything's a rave.
A message from The Ambassador!!
Lol. Why is this so stereotypically French?
What do you want—Ebonics?!
JIMMY FALLON, THE COSMIC AVENGER APPEARS
You are really bad at this.
You're not making this easy.
I'm not making this anything.
You are a figment of my imagination, Jimmy Fallon.
What did you just call me?
After Petrutheo's mysterious death, the kingdom of Eden is crumbles; a —
This episode has no direction whatsoever.
What are you doing on this planet?
I mean, intelligent life.
This is what Skrillex wants.
Well, give it to him, then.
All of a sudden, I hated everyone and everything
Well, it was nice knowing you.
Oh, so you think you know me?
—you must leave Paris immediately.
The capital is under siege.
And I could be expected to believe you?
You've got to believe in something.
As many opportunities as I had to ask where to buy methamphetamine, which might have actually helped me work all three of my jobs while I had them, I was never even tempted; and though I had spent the last few weeks puffing feverishly on nicotine products, been offered (and even found) copious amounts of cocaine, and had finally been deemed attractive enough to be invited to go do whippets— I still hadn't budged, and was the for most part, wholeheartedly sober—still abstaining from alcohol, hard drugs, and most regrettably— sex.
Fuck this whole fucking town.
I promise you, this is the bottom of the ocean floor.
I wanted nothing more than to fade away and dissappear; the entire world was eating me alive. I had no intentions of running away, and neither could I afford to stay—the entirety of the world was out of my price range—and with my food stamps having been stolen, i knew it was indeed a personal attack on my mind, and on my body.
So wait, I'm not in the Illuminati?
After a night of listening to Dane Cook and his shenanigans, I had somehow settled on the fact that the relevant laughter I had been endowed was indeed a revelation of sorts.
‘I must have schizophrenia. Shit.'
Unfortunately, however — I had a first handed look at how racially biased LA and the rest of the world actually was—and without a doctor to trust to properly treat whatever had been going on in my head, it seemed I was doomed to die scattered across Skid Row like the thousands of other black individuals in Los Angeles whose mental capacity had been shattered through trauma, addiction, and circumstance.
Just file for disability.
‘I'm not seeking help for any sort of mental illness on Medicaid. Fuck that.'
And whether or not it was black and white, it was certainly rich vs. poor—and I would be so easily discarded into an even worse predicament, just for being black, or poor, or a combination of the two.
Go back to the Harry Potter thing.
SUPACREE returns to HARRY, HERMINONE, and RON/DANIEL, EMMA, and RUPERT after having left them with the entirety of every single entry from the WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER FRANCHISE for an entire week.
*super British conversation almost entirely incomprehensible to The American Ear*
I don't ever want to wake up again
So, women are obsessed with being tiny and defying age—
Because men are obsessed with youth, and perfection
And either way, it doesn't matter
Cause we all get cheated on
The whole world is racist—
And I might never be loved again
But at least I can say this:
And I guess I didn't make it
But— I can't go back to Africa,
Fuck, I wish I was a foreigner!
I don't want to be the President
I don't want to hate the government—
I don't want to be black,
But fuck it, I'm stuck in it
Fuck wherever Skrillex is
And I hate Dillon Francis
I guess I have to disappear
I guess that's just the plan
God, fuck how fat my ass is
I just want a shitty ass apartment
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