March 06, 2025

EP 27: How to Help Our Dance Dads with Brian Recker

1 hour 10 minutes

Masculinity built on dominance leaves men stuck in a cycle of insecurity and disconnection. John sat down with Brian Recker to unpack the false masculinity that keeps men trapped and explore how breaking free from patriarchy leads to something real.

Brian, a former evangelical pastor turned social media voice, shared his journey of challenging the outdated expectations placed on men. They talked about why traditional masculinity so often revolves around dominance and how that pressure keeps men from forming real connections. Patriarchy doesn’t just harm women and marginalized communities. It also forces men into rigid roles that suppress emotion, vulnerability, and self-acceptance.

Brian opened up about what it took for him to step away from those limiting beliefs and embrace a healthier, more authentic version of manhood. He offers a powerful perspective on strength, one built on empathy, mutual respect, and the freedom to be fully human. This episode is a call to rethink what masculinity really means and create space for something better.

Quotes

“For a lot of people, I think masculinity is defined by dominance. And so even the idea of equality is threatening to masculinity, because equality obviously is not dominance, right? So to have equality for men who find their masculinity in being dominant, to be equals is a threat to their masculinity, because they need to feel that aggressive dominance in order to feel like real men.” (05:46 | Brian Recker)

“Whenever you have an oppressive system, not only the victims of that oppression, but even the oppressors themselves are not free. In patriarchy, men cannot be their full selves.” (16:42 | Brian Recker)

“Queer people, especially, have given me permission to be my full self, even though I am straight. I think queer people learn earlier in life than many that, Hey, you know what, I’m going to have to be me or I'm going to die. If I don’t ultimately embrace who I really am, I can’t keep conforming to this mold because it doesn’t fit me.” (17:55 | Brian Recker)

“Jesus was hated by the religious establishment because of who he included, not who he excluded, not who he dominated, not who he sought to be superior over, but for who he brought in and gathered to himself.” (29:07 | Brian Recker)

“Being loved for being at the top of a hierarchy is not the same as being loved for being who you are.” (46:37 | Brian Recker)

Links

Connect with Brian Recker:

www.instagram.com/berecker

www.brianrecker.com

Dance Dad with John Corella Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheonlyDanceDadwithJohnCorella

Dance Dad with John Corella on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dancedadwithjohncorella/

John on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_corella/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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