I was surprised by doubt in the middle of my college years. Thankfully, God didn't give up on me and invited me 4 times back to himself. Some of us need 4 times. A favorite professor helped me out. Listen in.

Back story:

Around age ten I fell in love with the Christian education pastor at our church. He was happily married—which was a good thing. I didn’t tell anyone about my crush—which was also a good thing.

But when I went off to college, I thought I might major in being a pastor’s wife. I was surprised to find out they didn’t have that major—nor did any aspiring pastor ask me. At least not anyone I wanted to say yes to.

I was even more surprised to discover sometime in the middle of my second year that I’d lost my faith. More than a surprise, it was a shock. I awoke one morning and thought: Is Christianity actually true? Close to panic, I wondered, Does God even exist? Have I been duped?

In school, no one spoke about doubt, not in daily chapel, never in class. Surrounded by godly professors, my friends and I took Bible courses alongside our majors and enjoyed the scholarship as well as the spiritual stimulation. But not one person asked: “So how much do you believe in God today, Sue?” (I wish they had—I would’ve been honest. I may have cried.)

No one ever preached in chapel: “You May Doubt Your Faith One Day and You Will Be Okay.” (I wish they had. I would’ve taken notes.)

One ordinary morning, doubts slipped in unnoticed and unwanted and rattled my cage of comfort and certainty. The fact remained: I no longer believed. I had lost my faith. I felt like I was living on the edge of crazy.

Do you have a friend who needs to hear they are not alone in their doubts? Share this podcast episode with them today. You can help bring them back from the edge of crazy.

Read more from Never Alone: Stories of Invitation and Connection 

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