We all have a list of WHO we want to change so we can feel better.  If our spouse would just do this or be that, we could then feel appreciated and loved.  If our mother was kinder or more supportive or more whatever, we'd feel prouder or more secure.  But we have NO control over other people and ALL of this wishing builds walls between us and other people.  These walls distract us from the real work of accepting and loving other people.  Heidi teaches tools to dismantle these walls and why nobody else needs to change so we can feel how we want to feel.