We leave Liu Bei with his new sage and check in on what the Sun clan has been up to.

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Transcript

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 47.

Last time, on his third attempt, Liu Bei finally got to meet Zhuge Liang, and the man did not disappoint. Zhuge Liang quickly laid out his grand plan for Liu Bei to establish himself as a power player: Let Cao Cao have the north and Sun Quan have the South. Take Jing (1) Province first as your home base, then take Yi (4) Province to the west to build your own little empire. Then bide your time for the right moment to invade the northern heartland.

It was quite an impressive plan, and it made Liu Bei rise from his seat and bow in thanks. However, Liu Bei also voiced some concern.

“Master, your words have opened the thicket that had blocked my view and parted the clouds so that I can see the sky. However, the imperial protectors of Jing and Yi Province, Liu Biao and Liu Zhang, are both my kinsmen in the imperial clan. How can I bear to take what is theirs?”

“From studying the stars,” Zhuge Liang replied, “I can tell that Liu Biao is not long for this world. And Liu Zhang is not a worthwhile ruler. Both of these territories will belong to you in time.”

When he heard this, Liu Bei prostrated and pressed his head to the ground to show his gratitude and respect to Zhuge Liang. When he was done, he said, “Though I am of meager standing and worth, I hope you will not spurn me and will leave these hills to help me. I will obediently follow your enlightening instruction.”

 

So you, a man who has no army to call his own and who oversees a meager county, want me, a recluse of great repute, to leave my scenic, peaceful thatched hut in the monkey-filled bamboo groves — monkeys!! bamboo groves!! for crying out loud! — to help you beat seemingly inestimable odds and piece a fractured empire back together? Even if he was willing, Zhuge Liang could not let this opportunity to pass without bargaining for a bigger paycheck, more vacation days, or something.

“I have long been content to till the soil here,” he said to Liu Bei. “I am too lazy to answer the demands of the outside world. I cannot oblige.”

This response brought Liu Bei to tears.

“Master, will you not think of the poor souls of this land?” he said as he wept so hard that his sleeve was soaked through as he wiped his eyes.

Seeing how earnest Liu Bei’s entreaty was, Zhuge Liang relented.

“If you will have me, general, then I will do what little I can to help you.”

Liu Bei was ecstatic. He immediately called in his brothers Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, who had been waiting out by the front gate this whole time, and told them to pay their respects and offer up the gold and gifts they had brought. Zhuge Liang tried to decline because, well, it’s the Chinese thing to do. Liu Bei insisted, which was also the Chinese thing to do.

“Think of this not as a formal petition for a man of great worth, but simply as a humble token of my appreciation,” he said to Zhuge Liang.

Since he put it that way, Zhuge Liang at last accepted.

 

That night, Liu Bei and his brothers stayed in Zhuge Liang’s home. The next morning, Zhuge Liang’s younger brother, Zhuge Jun (1), returned from running errands. Zhuge Liang told him,