The History of China

It’s one thing to go invading the resting places of the dead and reaping the well-deserved consequences of your own bad choices. But it’s a different kind of horror entirely when you don’t even need a shovel and the dead are perfectly capable of getting up all on their own. Hopping corpses, flying corpses, corpses sneaking out for a midnight rendezvous, and a few bodies that are still technically alive, but behaving very, very badly. So keep a broom handy... and a couple of bells... just in case. Because tonight, it turns out rigor mortis is... more of a suggestion...

Be sure to check out Arthur's Sleepy History Podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/show/4AMQOoqVGQVmbotdkcgn48?si=y72e22c0SuWPyyc8HM3YTw

Tonight’s Tales:

02:47 – “The Headless Horseman of Han” [漢武時蒼梧賈雍] – from Soushenji, Gan Bao
04:26 – “Half-Baked” [批殭尸頰] – from Zibuyu, Yuan Mei
07:13 – “Still Life” [畫工畫殭尸] – from Zibuyu, Yuan Mei
10:35 – “It’s So Necromantic” [兩殭尸野合] – from Zibuyu, Yuan Mei
14:25 – “Saved By the Bell” [飛殭] – from Zibuyu, Yuan Mei
18:29 – “Truly Offal” [抽腸] – from Liaozhai zhiyi, Pu Songling
22:03 – “An Empty Cocoon” [丐僧] – from Liaozhai zhiyi, Pu Songling
25:55 – “Some Assembly Required” [負屍] – from Liaozhai zhiyi, Pu Songling
28:06 – “Well, Well, Well...” [古瓶] – from Liaozhai zhiyi, Pu Songling

Major Works Cited:DeWoskin, Kenneth J., and J. I. Crump, Jr., trans. In Search of the Supernatural: The Written Record.
Pu Songling. The Annotated Strange Tales From A Chinese Studio. Translated by Park Jongho.
Pu Songling. Liaozhai zhiyi 聊齋志異.
Santangelo, Paolo, with Yan Beiwen. Zibuyu, “What the Master Would Not Discuss,” according to Yuan Mei (1716–1798): A Collection of Supernatural Stories.

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The leaves are blood-red once again, the coffee’s back to hot, and somewhere in old China, the dead begin to stir restlessly. Grave robbers, well-diggers, strange hobbyists... plenty of folks out there far too willing to go sticking a spade into dirt it doesn't belong. And, of course, consequences ensue...

Tonight’s Tales:

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In the summer of 1861, the strangest siege of the war took shape on the banks of the Yangtze. As Heaven itself sent forth cosmic signs – of victory or disaster, no one could be quite sure – an imperial army had a rebel city completely surrounded.
Only for a different rebel army to surround that imperial ringing army.
But they were, all of them, deceived... for somewhere out past the hills, another ring was made...

Inside the walls, the gardens were planted, the rations were holding, and the markets were open for business.
They would stay open to the very end…
Time Period Covered:
Apr.–Sept. 1861 CE
Major Historical Figures:
The Qing:
The Xianfeng Emperor [1831–1861]
Yixin, Prince Gong [1833–1898]
Imperial Commissioner Zeng Guofan [1811–1872]
Zeng Guoquan, commander of the siege of Anqing [1824–1890]
Zhu Hongzhang, commander of the Guizhou division
Commander Bao Chao [1828–1886]
Duolonga, Manchu cavalry general [1817–1864]
Zuo Zongtang, general holding Jingdezhen [1812–1885]
Hu Linyi, Governor of Hubei [1812–1861]
The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom:
Hong Xiuquan, the Heavenly King [1814–1864]
Hong Rengan, the Shield King [1822–1864]
Chen Yucheng, the Brave King [1837–1862]
Li Xiucheng, the Loyal King [1823–1864]
Li Shixian, the Attending King [1834–1865]
Lai Wenguang, commander at Huangzhou [1827–1868]
Liu Canglin, commander at the Jixian Pass
Yang Fuqing, commander of the last relief army
Cheng Xueqi, the Brave King's vanguard commander; defected to the Qing [1829–1864]
The British:
Frederick Bruce, British Minister to China [1814–1867]
Harry Parkes, interpreter & negotiator [1828–1885]
Major Works Cited:
Fairbank, John K., ed. The Cambridge History of China, Vol. 10: Late Ch'ing, 1800–1911, Part 1.
Jen, Yu-wen. The Taiping Revolutionary Movement.
Platt, Stephen R. Autumn in the Heavenly Kingdom: China, the West, and the Epic Story of the Taiping Civil War.

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By the autumn of 1860, the Qing Dynasty had run out of armies to lose. What was left of its war was being run out of a mountain valley in southern Anhui by a half-blind scholar-official who was, at that very moment, politely refusing a direct order from his emperor.

Downriver, the Taiping had a plan to end the whole thing. In March of 1861 the Brave King sprinted 200 miles in 11 days to pull it off, and arrived holding the strongest hand any Taiping commander ever would.

And then… the British showed up and had a little conversation. And everything went completely off the rails...

Time Period Covered:
Oct. 1860–Apr. 1861 CE

Major Historical Figures:
The Qing:
Imperial Comissioner Zeng Guofan [1811–1872]
Zeng Guoquan, commander of the siege of Anqing [1824–1890]
Commander Bao Chao [1828–1886]
Duolonga, Manchu cavalry general [1817–1864]
Zuo Zongtang, general holding Jingdezhen [1812–1885]
Senggelinqin, Mongol prince; commander in the north [1811–1865]

The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom:
Hong Xiuquan, the Heavenly King [1814–1864]
Chen Yucheng, the Brave King [1837–1862]
Li Xiucheng, the Loyal King [1823–1864]
Hong Rengan, the Shield King [1822–1864]
Li Shixian, the Attending King [1834–1865]

The British:
James Bruce, 8th Earl of Elgin, High Commissioner & Plenipotentiary [1811–1863]
Frederick Bruce, British Minister to China [1814–1867]
Rear Adm. Sir James Hope [1808–1881]
Harry Parkes, interpreter & negotiator [1828–1885]

Visitors to Nanjing:
Issachar Roberts, American missionary; once the Heavenly King's teacher [1802–1871]
Griffith John, Welsh missionary of the London Missionary Society [1831–1912]
Yung Wing, Yale graduate & tea trader [1828–1912]

Major Works Cited:
Jen, Yu-wen. The Taiping Revolutionary Movement.
Platt, Stephen R. Autumn in the Heavenly Kingdom: China, the West, and the Epic Story of the Taiping Civil War.

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For two days in mid-October, ash fell like snow atop Beijing. All that remained of one of the greatest cultural storehouses in all of human history, put to the torch as an extremely personalized punishment... after everything not nailed down inside it had already been looted off, of course.

But the man it was meant to punish... wasn't even there. He'd already slipped out the back door of the Forbidden City weeks before - leaving an opera troupe to play on and cover his escape, as he left his own capital behind to its conquerors for the last time.

What was left was a city ready to be conquered, a conqueror who didn't want it at all, and who would negotiate a very favorable credit-extension deal instead... with a computable interest in the survival of the government he'd just humiliated, and in the quiet of the very ports the Taiping had spent all summer marching toward.

Time Period Covered:
Aug.–Dec. 1860 CE

Major Historical Figures:
The Qing:
The Xianfeng Emperor [1831–1861]
Prince Gong, the emperor's half-brother; imperial plenipotentiary [1833–1898]
Senggelinqin, Mongol prince; commander in the north [1811–1865]
Zaiyuan, Prince of Yi, imperial commissioner [1816–1861]
Muyin, imperial commissioner
Hengqi, Qing official
Zeng Guofan, imperial commissioner against the Taiping [1811–1872]
The Qianlong Emperor [1711–1799]

The British:
James Bruce, 8th Earl of Elgin, High Commissioner & Plenipotentiary [1811–1863]
Frederick Bruce, British Minister to China [1814–1867]
Harry Parkes, interpreter & negotiator [1828–1885]
Henry Loch, Elgin's private secretary [1827–1900]
Thomas Bowlby, correspondent of The Times [1818–1860]
Gen. Sir James Hope Grant, commanding the British force [1808–1875]
Rear Adm. Sir James Hope [1808–1881]
Capt. Charles Gordon, Royal Engineers [1833–1885]
Robert Swinhoe, interpreter [1836–1877]
Lord Macartney, ambassador to the Qianlong court, 1793 [1737–1806]
Lord Amherst, ambassador, 1816 [1773–1857]
King George III [1738–1820]
Queen Victoria [1819–1901]

The French:
Baron Gros, French Plenipotentiary
Gen. Charles Cousin-Montauban, afterward Comte de Palikao [1793–1877]
Felice Beato, photographer [c. 1832–1909]
Jean Denis Attiret, Jesuit painter at the Yuanmingyuan [1702–1768]

The Russians:
Count Nikolay Ignatiev, Russian envoy [1832–1908]

The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom:
Hong Rengan, the Shield King [1822–1864]

Major Works Cited:
Giles, Herbert A. A Glossary of Reference on Subjects Connected with the Far East.
Gros, Baron. Négociations entre la France et la Chine en 1860.
Hake, Alfred Egmont. The Story of Chinese Gordon.
Leavenworth, Charles S. The Arrow War with China.
Platt, Stephen R. Autumn in the Heavenly Kingdom: China, the West, and the Epic Story of the Taiping Civil War.

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A suspicious ship of dubious registry is boarded by Qing marines off Canton, 12 of her crew are taken captive for piracy, and the British allege their flag was hauled down in the process. That last part, at least, was almost certainly untrue... not that that stops it all from spinning entirely out of control.

Within the month, the Royal Navy will be shelling the office of the viceroy who won't meet with them, Parliament's own better angels will be promptly overturned by the public itself at the polls, and the kickoff of a 4-year war… that no one could ever quite name an actual cause for: The Arrow War, AKA The 2nd Opium War.
Time Period Covered:
Oct. 1856 – 1860 CE

Major Historical Figures:
The Qing:
The Xianfeng Emperor [1831–1861]
Ye Mingchen, Governor-General of Liangguang [1807–1859]
Senggelinqin, Mongol prince; commander at Taku [1811–1865]
The British:
James Bruce, 8th Earl of Elgin, High Commissioner & Plenipotentiary [1811–1863]
Frederick Bruce, first British Minister to China [1814–1867]
Harry Parkes, acting British Consul at Canton [1828–1885]
Sir John Bowring, Governor of Hong Kong [1792–1872]
In Parliament:
Lord Palmerston, Prime Minister [1784–1865]
William Gladstone [1809–1898]
Benjamin Disraeli [1804–1881]
The French & Americans:
Baron Gros, French Plenipotentiary
Father Auguste Chapdelaine, missionary [d. 1856]
Josiah Tattnall, U.S. Navy commodore [1795–1871]
John E. Ward, U.S. Minister to China [1814–1902]
The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom:
Hong Xiuquan, the Heavenly King [1814–1864]

Major Works Cited:
Platt, Stephen R. Autumn in the Heavenly Kingdom: China, the West, and the Epic Story of the Taiping Civil War.
Twitchett, Denis, and John K. Fairbank, eds. The Cambridge History of China, Vol. 10: Late Ch'ing, 1800–1911, Part 1.
Wong, J. Y. Deadly Dreams: Opium, Imperialism, and the Arrow War (1856–1860) in China.

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The Loyal King does everything right. He writes ahead to Shanghai to announce he's coming – as a friend! And only for the Qing parts of the city! His standing orders: no firing on the foreigners, you get your head chopped off. He even signs off wishing them all good health until he can meet them in person.

It's returned unopened. As is the second one.

And so, in the third week of August 1860, an army marching under orders

And those soldiers holding that wall on the Qing’s behalf? They're the

Major Historical Figures:
The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom:
Hong Rengan, the Shield King (Gan Wang), Prime Minister [1822–1864]
Li Xiucheng, the Loyal King (Zhong Wang) [1823–1864]

The Qing:
Xue Huan, acting Governor of Jiangsu
Wu Xu, the Shanghai Daotai
Yang Fang, banker; head of the merchant syndicate
He Guiqing, cashiered Governor-General of Liangjiang [1816–1862]

The Foreigners…
At Shanghai:
Frederick Bruce, British Minister to China [1814–1867]
Thomas Taylor Meadows, acting British Consul at Shanghai [1815–1868]
Frederick Townsend Ward, commander, Shanghai Foreign-Arms Corps

Major Works Cited:
Fairbank, John King. Trade and Diplomacy on the China Coast: The Opening of the Treaty Ports, 1842–1854.
Jen, Yu-wen. The Taiping Revolutionary Movement.
Michael, Franz, and Chung-li Chang. The Taiping Rebellion: History and Documents, Vols. I–III.
Murphey, Rhoads. Shanghai: Key to Modern China.
Platt, Stephen R. Autumn in the Heavenly Kingdom: China, the West, and the Epic Story of the Taiping Civil War.
Spence, Jonathan D. God's Chinese Son: The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom of Hong Xiuquan.
Twitchett, Denis, and John K. Fairbank, eds. The Cambridge History of China,

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For a thousand years, Suzhou and Hangzhou stood as synonyms for the next best thing to Heaven itself. Well... that was before 1860. As of now, Hangzhou is a fire-gutted ruin, and Suzhou is next on the target list.

But the army that does the most damage… is not the invader. The Taiping arrive to find the dirty work done ahead of them, by the very Qing forces assigned to defend the great southern city, and a vast number of the city having decided to "take matters into their own hands." As such, when a party of missionaries sails upriver from Shanghai to find out just what happened to Suzhou, they'll have to wade through a literal riverful of the dead.

Time Period Covered:
May-Aug. 1860 CE

Major Historical Figures:

The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom:
Hong Xiuquan, the Heavenly King [1814–1864]
Hong Rengan, the Shield King (Gan Wang), Prime Minister [1822–1864]
Li Xiucheng, the Loyal King (Zhong Wang) [1823–1864]

The Qing:
The Xianfeng Emperor [1831–1861]
He Guiqing, Governor-General of Liangjiang [1816–1862]
Xu Youren, Governor of Jiangsu [d. 1860]
Zeng Guofan, Governor-General of Liangjiang (from June 8, 1860); commander, Hunan Army [1811–1872]
Ma Dezhao, Qing commander

The Foreign Missionaries:
Joseph Edkins, London Missionary Society [1823–1905]
Jane Edkins, his wife [1841-1863]
Griffith John, Welsh Congregationalist missionary [1831–1912]
James Legge, London Missionary Society, Hong Kong [1815–1897]

Major Works Cited:
Jen, Yu-wen. The Taiping Revolutionary Movement.
Michael, Franz, and Chung-li Chang. The Taiping Rebellion: History and Documents, Vols. I–III.
Platt, Stephen R. Autumn in the Heavenly Kingdom: China, the West, and the Epic Story of the Taiping Civil War.
Spence, Jonathan D. God's Chinese Son: The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom of Hong Xiuquan.

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The stealth troops successfully sneak past the enemy lines in dead men's

Except… it wasn't really the plan. The city that fell was never the objective – it was merely a diversion… a diversion that would leave 60,000 dead within a week.

Time Period Covered:

1860 CE

Major Historical Figures:

The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom:

Hong Xiuquan, the Heavenly King [1814–1864]

Hong Rengan, the Shield King (Gan Wang), Prime Minister [1822–1864]

Li Xiucheng, the Loyal King (Zhong Wang) [1823–1864]

Li Shixian, the Attending King (Shi Wang) [1834–1865]

Chen Yucheng, the Brave King (Ying Wang) [1837–1862]

The Qing:

The Xianfeng Emperor [1831–1861]

He Chun, Imperial Commissioner, Jiangnan Daying [d. 1860]

Zeng Guofan, acting Governor-General of Liangjiang; commander, Hunan Army [1811–1872]

Zhang Guoliang, commander, Jiangnan Daying [1822–1860]

Zhang Yuliang, commander of the Hangzhou relief column

Xu Yuren, Governor of Jiangsu
Major Works Cited:
Jen, Yu-wen. The Taiping Revolutionary Movement.
Michael, Franz, and Chung-li Chang. The Taiping Rebellion: History and Documents, Vols. I–III.

Platt, Stephen R. Autumn in the Heavenly Kingdom: China, the West, and the Epic Story of the Taiping Civil War.
Spence, Jonathan D. God's Chinese Son: The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom of Hong Xiuquan.

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Please check out this entire series-arc, re-written, expanded, & re-recorded as of Aug 2026:
- Ep. 306: Dead Men Tell No Tales: https://megaphone.link/ARML5251369441
- Ep. 307: Murders & Acquisitions, Mostly: https://megaphone.link/ARML6215286599
- Ep. 308: The Shadow State:

https://megaphone.link/ARML7890860851

Bottled up in Tung Chung Bay, subsisting for three weeks on caterpillars & boiled rice, the largest pirate fleet in the history of the world meets six Portuguese ships and the arithmetic that finishes it. What follows is the biggest criminal amnesty the world had yet seen, and a question very few pirates ever get to ask themselves: what does a cutthroat do with retirement?

Time Period Covered:

1809–1844 CE

Major Historical Figures:

Red Flag Confederation:

Zheng Yi Sao (AKA Ching Shih, née Shi Yang), Commander of the Red Flag Confederation [1775–1844]
Zhang Baozai (Cheung Po Tsai), Fleet Commander of the Red Flags, later Qing navy vice-commander at Penghu [1783–1822]
Guo Podai, Commander of the Black Flag Fleet [178?–181?]
Mei Ying, a captive of the Red Flag Fleet [d. 1809]

Qing Empire:

The Jiaqing Emperor (Aisin-Gioro Yongyan) [r. 1796–1820]
The Daoguang Emperor (Aisin-Gioro Minning) [r. 1820–1850]
Bailing (Zhang Bailing), Governor-General of Liangguang [1748–18??]
Sun Quanmou, Provincial Fleet Commander
Zhou Feixiong, physician of Macau
Wu Yaonan, government official [fl. 1810–1840]
Lin Zexu, Viceroy of Liangguang [1785–1850]

Portuguese Empire:

Miguel José de Arriaga Brum da Silveira, Ouvidor of Macau
Captain José Pinto Alcoforado de Azevedo e Sousa, Commander of the Macau Flotilla
Gonçalves Carocha, pilot

British East India Company:

Richard Glasspoole, second mate of the Marquis of Ely [1788–1846]

Major Sources Cited:

Andrade, Tonio. The Gunpowder Age: China, Military Innovation, and the Rise of the West in World History.

Antony, Robert J. Like Froth Floating on the Sea: The World of Pirates and Seafarers in Late Imperial South China.

Glasspoole, Richard. A Brief Narrative of My Captivity and Treatment Amongst the Ladrones (1809); see also Owen Rutter, ed., Mr Glasspoole and the Chinese Pirates (Golden Cockerel Press, 1935).
Leonard, Jane Kate. “Maritime China in Transition, 1750–1850,” in The Cambridge History of China, Volume 9, Part 2: The Ch’ing Dynasty to 1800.

Murray, Dian H. Pirates of the South China Coast, 1790–1810.

Van de Ven, Hans J. Breaking with the Past: The Maritime Customs Service and the Global Origins of Modernity in China.

Yuan Yonglun. Jing hai fen ji (靖海氛記, 1830), translated by Karl Friedrich Neumann as History of the Pirates Who Infested the China Sea, 1807–1810 (London, 1831).

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