It’s official, Naa’vi are hot and their perfect bodies have put our girl in heat for Christmas. James Cameron, let’s make the first trans Avatar happen.

In lieu of a real date this week, Alex is taking a break and instead roasting deranged dating profiles. How many times can Alex relate literally any sentence back to the Avatar universe? Let’s find out!

If you’re a man who lives in London, statistically you have been on a date with Alex. Follow the trials and tribulations of Clapham’s Carrie Bradshaw while she looks for love.

Follow @alexwoolly on Instagram and Twitter.

Produced by Jack Elliott

Cover art by @lydsthatpicstook