Did you know that we had actually been rolling with just two official kingdoms all this time? Well, Sun Quan will fix that this week.

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 126.

Last time, we left off with the end of Zhuge Liang’s second unsuccessful campaign to conquer the kingdom of Wei. That was in the winter of the year 228. While Zhuge Liang regrouped at his base in Hanzhong, the Wei supreme commander Cao Zhen was forced to return to his capital to recover from an illness. So things were temporarily quiet on the Shu and Wei borders. But something big was stirring in the southeast, in the kingdom of Wu.

Word of Zhuge Liang’s second expedition soon reached Wu. Hearing that Cao Zhen had once again suffered casualties, the officials of Wu all asked their lord Sun Quan to launch their own Northern campaign to conquer the Heartlands, but Sun Quan wasn’t so sure. The senior official Zhang Zhao, however, told him that there was something important he needed to do before he could go to war.

“I have recently heard that that a phoenix was spotted in the mountain to the east of our capital, and that a green dragon was seen in the waters of the Great River,” Zhang Zhao said. “Your lordship’s virtue matches that of the ancient sage kings Yao and Shun, and your wisdom is the equal of the great kings of the Zhou Dynasty. You should ascend to the imperial throne, and then launch the campaign.”

So remember that at this point, even though Wu was its own kingdom, Sun Quan was still technically not an emperor. I think the last title he had attained just the King of Wu, which was still a rung below emperor. Well, he’s going to take care of that right now, as all the officials chimed in in agreement with Zhang Zhao.

So they picked out an auspicious date and set up an altar to the south of the capital Wuchang (3,1). Sun Quan ascended the altar and declared himself emperor. He dished out posthumous imperial titles to his father, mother, and older brother. His son Sun Deng (1) was named the heir apparent. Sun Quan also appointed the sons of two senior officials as assistants slash guides to his heir. These were Zhuge Ke (4), the eldest son of Zhuge Jin, and Zhang Xiu (1), the second son of Zhang Zhao.

Zhuge Ke will play a prominent role in our story later on, so keep his name in mind. He stood about 5 foot 3, so certainly not among the taller guys we’ve met in the novel. But he was very smart and was always ready with some quick-witted repartee, which made Sun Quan adore him. When Zhuge Ke was about 6 years old, he accompanied his father to a banquet with Sun Quan. During the feast, Sun Quan, noticing how long Zhuge Jin’s face was, decided to have a little fun at his official’s expense. He ordered his men to bring a donkey into the banquet hall, and then wrote on its face, in chalk, the words “Zhuge Jin”. Everybody burst out laughing at this rather mean-spirited joke.

While everyone was laughing at his father, Zhuge Ke stood up, grabbed the chalk, and added another word to the donkey’s face. When the people in attendance saw what he had written, they were all stunned. The poor donkey’s face now said, “Zhuge Jin’s donkey.” Sun Quan was delighted with Zhuge Ke’s wit,