Listeners! It' election day and I cannot be bothered so it's AI shownotes this week. Enjoy!

Hosts: Joel Hill & Dave (Cooker Watcher Supreme)

(00:00:00) Introduction & Welcome

Joel welcomes listeners and introduces guest host Dave, replacing Jack the Insider.

Shoutout: CB Co Beer for election night viewing. Mention of a competition involving a boat trip.

Election Calls to Action:

Vote 1 Fiona Patton in the Victorian Senate, preference 2 Purple Pingers.

(00:01:48) Tinfoil Tales Follow-Up: The Next Pope?

Discussion on cooker theories about the next Pope (King Charles?).

Lindsey Graham's tweet suggesting Donald Trump for Pope.

00:02:38 Dave reads the tweet.

Trump's blue suit vs. Obama's tan suit controversy revisited.

Brief thoughts on the late Pope's legacy and potential successor.

(00:04:37) Dave's Cooker Report: Cessnock & CPAC

Dave attended a meeting with Joel Jammal ("Eyebrows") in Cessnock (his 8th visit).

Jammal debriefed the local unnamed "Freedom Group" (often linked to One Nation) on his CPAC trip.

Local Candidates Present:

Stuart Bonds (One Nation candidate for Hunter).

Jennifer Stefanak (Trumpet of Patriots Newcastle) - Flat Earther, aliens are fallen angels, won NCAT case after dismissal from child services. Not allowed to speak despite attending.

Mysterious Host: Christine Stevens, credited by Jammal as "brains behind the Wollongbae Road campaign" (a local road widening project used by cookers).

Stevens now campaign manager for Stuart Bonds (referred to as "boss"). Possible links to broader far-right organising.

Joel Jammal's Gifts: Rolled-up maps for Cessnock's 6 cooker councillors showing ALP vs. Voice 'No' vote intersections. Maps available for purchase from Jammal.

Jammal's CPAC Trip: Won the trip via the "Shark Bites Pitching Contest" at CPAC Australia (Sky paywall).

Winners expected to produce content upon return.

Included a communication seminar with Steve Bannon.

Stuart Bonds' Candidacy (Hunter):

Odds discussed ($10 on Sportsbet).

Labor's Dan Repacholi favoured ($1.15).

Bonds' history: 21% primary in 2019, left One Nation, rejoined. Consistent far-right vote in the region.

Bonds' desire to "start a conversation about coal mining" (already ongoing).

Discussion on Labor's telehealth plan and cooker opposition.

(00:24:07) Trumpism & Dutton's Campaign

Discussion on the "blueprint for Trump 28".

Chris LaCivita (Trump advisor) reportedly helped Peter Dutton's campaign. Joel questions the effectiveness given global trends.

Mainstream media's difficulty rallying behind Dutton.

(00:25:52) Cooker Report Part 2: Gosford & MyPlace

Dave attended the Lisa Bellamy independent campaign launch in Gosford.

Follow-on from "Coasties Who Care" (MyPlace environmentalist council ticket).

Shadowy Figure: Kate Mason (anti-renewable circuit, IPA/Advance events). Launched Bellamy's campaign.

Campaign barely mentions climate change, focuses on opposing Aboriginal Land Council developments.

Key Figures on Stage:

Jake Cassar (musician, prepper).

Lisa Bellamy (MyPlace coordinator, seen at Convoy with Kate Mason).

Vicki Burke (MyPlace food/water security organiser, believes in aliens/other planets).

Group suggests increased One Nation vote would benefit them. Bellamy received ~3000 votes previously.

Kate Mason's Agenda: Reshaping the environment movement to focus on conspiracies (15-min cities, anti-meat).

Shapeshifted from anti-vax (IMOP) -> Voice 'No' -> Anti-artificial food/Bellamy campaign.

Significant Telegram following despite "gobbledygook" posts.

Rally vs. Darkinjung Land Council/Woolworths Development: Focus remains on Land Council projects. Racist undertones ("love the land as much as we do").

Links to Garingai (now potentially split/rebranded). NRL Welcome to Country discussed.

Jake Cassar Deep Dive: Constant self-promotion, minimal concrete environmental vision beyond opposing the Land Council. Attacks Labor/Greens. Right-wing presence at events. Ballarat missing person search (found dog with SES). Yowie encounter at Woy Woy tip. Lack of accountability in Facebook environmental groups (anti-immigration/Aboriginal rhetoric).

(00:40:33) Monica Smit's Private Prosecution of Dan Andrews

Monica plans a private criminal prosecution against Dan Andrews (and Jacinta Allan).

Website Quote: "The wait is over righteous justice begins now" - Monica Smit.

Topher Field involved as cheerleader/promoter.

Basis: "New evidence" (Document 34 FOI email) allegedly showing curfew decision made before consulting CHO Brett Sutton. Implication: tyranny, not health advice.

Joel suggests it was likely capitulation to police enforcement ease.

Fundraising: Claimed $124,605 raised (via manually updated widget). Monica paid herself $1000/week stipend already.

Monica's Justification ("Why me?"): Stood toe-to-toe and won, relentless energy, prison time (refused bail), won appeal, resisted database handover, won unlawful arrest case (appealing costs decision), claims past refund integrity, lives simply, no distractions (children/friends).

Bender (@SpambotX) Twitter Thread: Brutal takedown of Monica as a "despicable con woman".

Highlights Consumer Affairs conviction ($66k pocketed from unregistered fundraiser).

Accuses Topher Field of seeking a cut.

Details legal failures, self-orchestrated "martyrdom", $250k legal bill after rejecting settlement.

Criticises "journalism" and book ("Cell 22").

Predicts prosecution failure and abandonment once donations dry up.

Bender's Legal Analysis (Round 2):

Private prosecution (Crimes Act s 321) needs prima facie case, not conspiracy.

Document 34 likely inadmissible hearsay.

Misconduct charge needs proof of knowing, malicious law-breaking (R v Quach).

Lockdowns upheld (Loielo v Giles), backed by Public Health Act & CHO advice.

DPP can shut down frivolous cases (Public Prosecutions Act s 22).

Previous treason case tossed out.

Criticises fundraising transparency (Fundraising Act 1998), $52k/year salary.

Highlights past legal issues (incitement charges dropped, health order conviction, Judge Tran's comments).

Past Precedent: 2021 private prosecution for treason (Anthony Herman) recalled - chaotic online hearing.

Monica's Timeline & Updates:

Initial plan: Assemble legal team by April 24, first meeting April 30.

Reality (May 1): No team announced. Video claims it will take "a few weeks" to pick lawyers.

Met with a lawyer ($500/hr, 2 hours booked).

Posted picture near a waterfall instead of legal updates ("reset and reload").

Now targeting Jacinta Allan as well.

Promises refund of remaining balance if no prospect of success.

Discussion on cooker lawyers (Matouk, Buckley). Monica's motivation seen as attention/clout chasing.

(01:17:54) Return to The Cali (Caledonian Hotel, Singleton)

Dave attended Pauline Hanson & Stuart Bonds event ($20 lunch that never happened).

Low turnout (~45 people in beer garden). Regulars, pensioners, Chris Sky filming, James Ashby present.

Stuart Bonds Guardian article discussed (misogyny, anti-vax, "Little Hitlers"). Worn as badge of honour.

Homeschooling attempt due to "woke trans agenda".

Red Ensign described as "real flag".

Unregistered campaign trailer incident.

Pauline Hanson: Speech built to "greatest hits" (Aboriginal industry). Mumbles less the longer she speaks.

Cali Update: Corruption Whistleblower book sold at bar (credit card accepted). Eureka beer on tap (FJB beer rebranded/gone?). Frenchies brewery connection? Pub seems to be returning to normal operations, but Red Ensign still flies. Food looks good, beer selection poor (Lion Nathan). No coal miners attended the event despite Bonds' background.

(01:36:30) Candidates Forum: Patterson (Port Stephens)

Dave attended forum; ABC filming due to anti-wind turbine mob presence.

Low turnout of protesters (~5 loud individuals). Meryl Swanson (Labor incumbent) well-prepared.

Marginal seat: Libs (Lawrence Ancliffe), aligned Independent, One Nation, Trumpet, Family First running against Swanson.

History of intimidation (boat incident during Mayoral campaign).

Betting odds discussed (Labor $1.66, Coalition $2.37). YouGov poll (Labor 51.8%).

Irony: Libs proposed nuclear plant at Port Stephens in 2007.

Bizarre Moments:

Trumpet candidate Peter Arena: Wind turbines interfere with missile detection; mentioned fighting audience member over wife littering.

(01:42:37) Billy Bay vs GAP Feud Update

Dr. William Bay told people not to vote for GAP (Great Australian Party) despite running for them.

Rod Culleton's response.

Billy Bay's letter to Culleton: Mock SovCit style ("Office of Vexatious Litigants and Spiritual Audits"), demands apology, foot kissing, $8 trillion. Full of threats (librarian grievance, livestream in lab coat, seizing karma balance). Written on GAP letterhead.

Feud background (payment disputes) covered previously by Tinfoil Tales.

(01:46:51) Amelia Hamer (Liberal, Kooyong) vs The People

Recap: Fake renter scandal (owns 2 properties + trust fund beneficiary).

A-Frame sign spamming controversy vs Monique Ryan (Teal MP).

Council imposed one-sign limit due to safety/obstruction complaints.

Liberals took council to Supreme Court over implied freedom of political communication.

Court upheld freedom but allowed council safety enforcement (opaque outcome).

Likely outcome: confrontations over sign placement. James Patterson claiming victory. Joel predicts local backlash.

(01:51:08) Election Odds & Predictions

Sportsbet: Labor $1.05, Coalition $9.50.

YouGov: Labor 53 / Coalition 47 (2PP). Projecting 84 seats for Labor (75 needed for majority).

Dickson (Dutton's seat): YouGov 50.2% LNP / 49.8% ALP. Sportsbet has Dutton favourite ($1.28 vs $3.35).

Joel laments betting ban but expresses optimism for Labor win, potential Dutton loss.

(01:53:29) Wrap Up & Outro

Joel thanks Dave for his "invaluable" and "brave" cooker reporting.

Standard Patreon plugs etc. skipped.

Sign off & enjoy the election.