The Conditional Release Program

Good friend of the podcast Dave has been keeping an eye on a few things. While most cookerwatchers point and laugh from the sidelines (this is fair, they are very funny) Dave gets right into the thick of it - and helps keep an eye on when cookers cross over the funny/dangerous line.

If you don't already know him, he's an environmental activist from way back and knows almost bloody everyone in the movement. Unfortunately, some of these people have become rather sympathetic to cookers and have enabled their rather terrifying takeover of various LGAs, including his own in Cessnock.

Dave explains how the cookers took over council and we discuss what we should expect from the first ACTUAL COOKER MAYOR!

It's shit. Joel Jammal is involved. It's all so utterly cooked. But look on the bright side - these people can't even behave themselves at christmas lunch so the chance of them not getting sacked is minimal. Time will tell.

Also, MyPlace attempt to make an important documentary on a serious topic and just end up completely screwing it up. Won't post spoilers - but let's say cookers are an easy target for a con artist.

AND

FERGUS THE CAT which is very very funny. We also look back to one of Dave's first interactions with cookers in public. Not just cookers but the supermarket pest variety. Oh man, it's quite pathetic.

Jack's back and we will be in business soon - I am sending him smelling salts and meth to get him back in the swing of things.

Thanks for sticking around guys! Love yas!

It's part 2 of 3! Well, if we stay on track.

This one is about following the money! Spoiler alert - a lot of it came from the estate of dead rich white men whose nepo baby children have decided to perpetuate their parents shitty ideology and pretend that they deserve to be billionaires becuause 'the free market works'.

Tax the rich.

Enjoy!

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Also, of course cbco.beer has CRP10 as a promo code still - 10% - and they have free shipping so go buy some beers.

Get on The Dirt Unit wherever you get your podcasts. But also - just go here https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-dirt-unit/id1701913743

Brendan has an excellent project called 'earseed' and his new album 'revelations' is on all the usual streaming places. The video for the song 'Come To My Place' is really really funny and has tickled the pickle of Dazza and Penny actually liked it. Excellent. Here's the video:

https://fb.watch/sfZIjwNRYC/

Anything we promised would be in the show notes is probably not going to happen but feel free to hassle Brendan about anything you want in the shitposting group!

Jack's in England gallivanting around and spending fake money on things like Cricket and lager. So it makes total sense to bring it full circle and have our brilliant British mates from Some Dare Call It Conspiracy join Joel for a chat.

We discuss the last year or so with Brent's story becoming global news, and then we look at things that will make Neil upset. England's race riots, the US election and whether Andrew Tate's smooth bathers have a doodle in them.

And a bunch of other random stuff we fall into.

It was a great chat.

PS - BECAUSE THIS IS A CROSSOVER EPISODE THERE'S NO BEER PLUG BUT REMEMBER EVERY CBCO TIN YOU DON'T DRINK KILLS A FAIRY.

The discount code still works (I think) which is CRP10 at cbco.beer. Go buy a case! It's free shipping! The IPA is INCREDIBLE.

Oh and also, join the Some Dare patreon so the lads can quit their jobs and release more content. DO IT!

The Two Jacks discuss disturbing revelations of historical child sex offending in the Victorian state education system and how the education department did as so many other institutions have done, merely shuffled the offenders off to new schools and unsuspecting children.

In NSW, Premier Minns dips a toe into the water of the housing crisis as federal Labor's polling problems continue.

Chaos in Bangladesh with the president fleeing to India. Ukraine drives deep into Russian territory. Is it a game changer in the war?

In sport we wrap up on the Paris Olympics while JTI declares Isaac Heeney's last quarter heroics against Collingwood as the best quarter of football in more than 20 years. 

The podcast will be taking a break for four weeks while JTI swans around Europe. 

Since Dave Oneegs jumped on the Kangen Water bandwagon, the magic water filter grift has got a lot of unwanted attention. But it's not just oneegs - there's a large decentralised network of shameless charlatans who are will manipulate desperate people into thinking that selling overpriced magic water machines will make them healthy and wealthy.

Sadly, it works. And many people not only fall into the trap of a 'get rich scheme' but also fall into a debt trap.

This episode looks at the filters and the poor rubes who fell into the trap. The next part is about the people at the top of the pyramid who sell the dream of 'freedom'. If freedom is taking endless selfies and posting 500 word essays with zero substance then yeah, I'll pass.

It's really bad and everyone involved in this sucks.

Enjoy!

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IF this episode has brought on feelings of disgust and horror, we suggest that you go to cbco.beer and buy some delicious tins using discount code CRP10 to get 10% off their already decent prices. We just saved you several thousand dollars on magic water machines so why not spend it on tins?

Kamala Harris is now the Democrats presumptive nominee. Was it a coup or was she just in the right place at the right time?

Is Barack Obama who wanted an open convention now diminished as the Kamala train steams ahead? Kamala has started with a boost but the polls still have her trailing by around a point. Further polling shows her support among 18-34yo voters 60 her way, 40 Trump's.

She'll get another boost, JTI says, at the DNC in Chicago. She'll need women and young voters out in number if she is to win.

Meanwhile in Brazil, sharks are on the coke. Albo has a reshuffle and pushes his poorer performers to one side as polling shows a tight contest can be expected at the next federal election.

The Olympics get underway with the easily offended bunch up in arms. 

Here's a preview of this weeks premium epiosde. Monica going to court is very funny but we can't really put the full thing on public since it's before the courts - but here's a long snippet to give you a feeling of the vibe of the thing.

Don't forget - cbco.beer still has the CRP10 voucher code to get 10% off the already amazing prices with free shipping. Get on it! Cheap good quality craft beers1

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From as little as five bucks a month! Don't make me get all weird and shame you like Dave Oneegs does - if you can't afford it, you just need to like want it more. Winners grindset bro.

If any of you are missing out because you're actually broke drop me a line and I'll send you a file. It's the honour system so don't tell me fibs!

Enjoy the free snippet!

https://www.patreon.com/theconditionalreleaseprogram

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We follow the leads from Vaxatious Litigant who did an excellent write up on Monica's big day(s) in court. We cover the first two with Vaxy's help and throw in a few notes from the 3rd day which we watched/listened to over the course.

Monica is very funny. We can't include any clips cause you can't record court but there's some cracking quotes in there from the Patron Saint of Pakenham. Tons of help from the Tinfoil Tales guys and Dave went into this chat!

Then we look at Kamala Harris and the inevitable terrible behaviour and discourse around her nomination including the predictably boring 'discovery' that she is actually a man - posted by one of or very own holocaust deniers (not pete).

And we look at Elon pulling out his $45 million from the Trump superpac - one of the very few times Elon actually does pull out, let's be honest.

Enjoy!

There's been another major twist in the presidential contest with Joe Biden being persuaded to step aside, allowing his VP, Kamala Harris to step in. She isn't quite confirmed as the nominee yet but it seems Barack Obama is more or less alone among senior Democrats in calling for an open convention in Chicago on 19 August.

The Two Jacks discuss the role of Nancy Pelosi as Joe's executioner. As all good politicians must, she led the tributes to the 46th POTUS with metaphorical blood on her hands and proved herself to be a leader of consequence.

Can Harris beat Trump? It's more than possible but she is starting from six lengths behind.

In other news, the Brits show us the pathway to political civility as Sir Keir Starmer announces a major change to housing policy in the UK.

Germany cuts its military aid to Ukraine by half.

While in sport, the return of warm up games would assist battling cricket nations as a quick fix for the terrible mess Test cricket finds itself in. 

The Two Jacks discuss the attempted assassination of Donald Trump and what it means to the presidential race. HK Jack says the Dems can still win but it just got a whole lot harder. We turn to the potential Democrat candidates should Biden stand down. HK Jack believes Kamala Harris has one shot and might be the contender.

The allegations of corruption within the CFMEU are considered while the Two Jacks explore the relationship between the union's construction division and the Labor Party.

In sport, is Djokovic being disrespected by tennis audiences? In cricket, England sends Jimmy Anderson off in style.  

Some little fella had a crack at Trump. He missed, thankfully. America would be ablaze right now if that little twerp could shoot.

In the wake of this paradigm changing event we look at the absolute slop that has been served up on social media, especially Elon's Twitter.

We don't know the motive. We don't know the truth. But we know a whole bunch of total nonsense that idiots made up on the internet.

What fun.

Long episode with loose script and dodgy AI editing. You've been warned! Any horrible mistakes please let me know - robots edited it so it's not my fault!

ALSO forgot to do a beer plug but go to cbco.beer and enter CRP10 to get 10% off the best damn IPA in the country. Or their other beers which are also pretty good. I'll make it up to them next time!