Claude wrote these. I did not.
Jack the Insider and Hong Kong Jack are back for Episode 147, recorded on 5 March 2026. It's a massive week of news — a record Kiwi exodus to Australia, a leaked Liberal Party post-mortem, the Star Casino legal fallout, a landmark war in Iran, and a bumper AFL season preview. Settle in.
Record Kiwi Migration & Trans-Tasman Economics
[00:00:41]
The BBC reports New Zealand citizens are leaving at record levels — over 60,000 departed in a single year, the equivalent of 180 people per day. Former PM Jacinda Ardern has joined the exodus, reportedly house-hunting on Sydney's northern beaches. Jack the Insider and Hong Kong Jack debate the merits of the northern beaches vs. the eastern suburbs, and the real net migration figures behind the headlines.
Net migration loss from NZ: over 30,000 in 2024 to Australia alone
Long-term departures hit 101,932 in 2023 — remarkable for a nation of 5.3 million
NZ GDP per capita: USD 49,000 vs. Australia's USD 69,000
New Zealand has been in negative GDP growth since December 2024, but is forecasting ~4% growth in the next financial year
Australia has maintained consistent positive GDP growth post-COVID (0.8%–2.5% p.a.)
The two countries are described as being at opposite ends of the economic cycle
Brief discussion on Jacinda Ardern's post-Harvard career options and what Julia Gillard's post-PM trajectory looks like by comparison
🗳️ The Leaked Liberal Party Review
[00:07:44]
The suppressed post-mortem of the coalition's catastrophic 2025 federal election loss has been leaked — ultimately tabled in Parliament by PM Albanese himself, making it public. Jack the Insider has read the first version of the 64-page document.
The review was always going to leak; opposition leader Angus Taylor's attempt to suppress it backfired spectacularly
Key findings: breakdown in relationship between Peter Dutton's office and the federal campaign director; policy made without clear authorship
Jane Hume named for two damaging gaffes — claiming Chinese spies were handing out how-to-votes for Labor, and overstating the case against work-from-home (she later apologised to The Australian's industrial relations reporter Ewan Hannan)
The work-from-home policy has no identifiable author
Dutton still insisting he was ahead in polls in February
Discussion of Labor's own 2019 review and the broader lesson for parties about not releasing policy too early
🏢 Star Casino Federal Court Ruling
[00:19:05]
A breaking story: the Federal Court has handed down adverse findings against two former Star Entertainment executives in a landmark corporate governance case.
Former CEO Matt Bekier and former Chief Legal Officer Paula Martin found to have breached Section 180 of the Corporations Act (duties of care and diligence) between 2017–2019
Justice Michael Lee (described as "the busiest judge in the country") cleared seven other board members including former ARU chair John O'Neill
Sanctions yet to be handed down; ASIC likely to weigh in
The broader discussion covers the structural problem with casino business models: regulatory compliance around money laundering may be fundamentally incompatible with profitability
Crown Melbourne's tribulations and multiple royal commissions also referenced, including a colourful anecdote about a criminal money-laundering operation that went badly wrong
🏠 Victoria's Work-From-Home Legislation
[00:24:46]
The Allan government is moving to enshrine the right to work from home in Victorian legislation.
Jack the Insider sees echoes of the dying days of the Cain-Kirner government — a paralysed administration unable to confront the CFMEU, reaching for popular populist measures to shift the narrative
Genuine doubt raised about whether the Victorian government has the constitutional authority to extend this beyond the state's own industrial relations jurisdiction
Ironic observation: the CFMEU may now be able to commit its alleged crimes from the comfort of home, enshrined in law by the very government it dominates
🏏 R.I.P. Dennis Cometti — A Legend of Australian Sporting Commentary
[00:27:41]
A sad farewell to one of Australia's greatest sports broadcasters, Dennis Cometti, who passed away aged 76 after an illness.
Remembered for his wit, calm authority, extraordinary phrasing ("centimetre perfect") and versatility across AFL, swimming, and Olympics
His long partnership with Bruce McAvaney celebrated — both were known for generously lifting their co-commentators rather than hogging the spotlight
Matthew Richardson recalled how Cometti and McAvaney would share stats and ideas with sideline reporters to make the whole program better — rare generosity in the industry
Bruce McAvaney described the loss of his "great mate" as losing "something truly precious"
Jack the Insider teases a future story about his own interview with Bruce McAvaney
🇮🇷 The Iran War — A Deep Dive
[00:30:51]
The episode's centrepiece: a thorough analysis of the US and Israeli strikes on Iran that rocked the world.
The Opening Strikes [00:30:51]
Strikes on Tehran targeted the Iranian leadership with remarkable precision; 49 killed including Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, his daughter, his grandson, and dozens of senior officials
The operation was months in the making — US assets were being repositioned in the Middle East from Christmas onwards
Diplomatic talks with Iran are assessed as having been a strategic cover for the military build-up
Who Was Khamenei? [00:32:37]
In power since the 1979 Islamic Revolution — 47 years of directing proxy terrorism via Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis
Jack the Insider recounts the chilling Mark Colvin story: journalists taken to a quarry outside Tehran in 1979 and shown a sea of bodies — the regime announcing who it was from day one
The International Law Question [00:58:37]
Assessed as genuinely unclear — international law is a patchwork of conflicting treaties with no real enforcement mechanism against superpowers
Germany's Chancellor Merz singled out for the most coherent response: a country that ignores international law and lies about funding terrorism cannot claim its protection
The UN condemned the US and Israel but said nothing about Iran killing 30,000 of its own people six weeks prior
Global Reactions [00:59:39]
Spain denied access to US bases; Trump retaliated by threatening to cut all trade between South America and the US
Portugal quickly offered support
France sending an aircraft carrier (one of only 12 "top-class" flat-tops in the world — 11 American, 1 French)
Australia: supportive, aligned with Canada, Germany, and France in what Hong Kong Jack calls "the sensible centre"
UK: Keir Starmer initially refused access to RAF bases and Chagos Islands, changed position only after Iran struck a British base in Cyprus; faced an internal cabinet revolt led by Ed Miliband
The Mossad Intelligence Operation [00:51:38]
Mossad hacked Tehran's traffic camera network and used algorithms to map the movements and behavioural patterns of all senior Iranian officials
Combined with deep long-term human intelligence — reportedly the head of Iran's unit charged with rooting out Mossad infiltration was himself a Mossad agent
Ariel Sharon reportedly tasked Mossad with making Iran its priority target 25 years ago
Iran's Military Capacity & the Missile Question [00:54:26]
Iran holds approximately 5,200 ballistic missiles capable of striking 600–1,000km range — plus extensive drone capacity (the Shahed-1, used by Russia in Ukraine)
Missiles fired as far as Cyprus, the UAE, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Syria, and Jordan in the initial chaotic response
Pakistan publicly reminded Iran of its security pact with Saudi Arabia (which includes a nuclear dimension)
Iran assessed as now diplomatically friendless — India also opposed
Oil: West Texas Intermediate sitting at USD 77.32 at time of recording; Straits of Hormuz insurance issues mean tankers may be forced around the Cape of Good Hope
The End Game [00:46:08]
Pete Hegseth: no "hollow democratisation" — objectives described as conservative
Assessed likely goal: degrade Iran's military capacity and defund its proxy network (Hezbollah, Hamas, Houthis)
Regime change seen as desirable but practically very difficult — Revolutionary Guard and military figures are financially entrenched in the system
Demographics: Tehran's middle class largely despise the regime; rural Iran retains significant support for the clerics
Reza Pahlavi (the Shah's son, in exile in the US) continues to lobby for recognition, though his credentials beyond his family name are questioned
Iran under internet blackout for over a week — very little information getting out
🇨🇦 Canadian PM Mark Carney's State Visit
[00:15:23]
Mark Carney visited Australia fresh from a major diplomatic breakthrough in India — signing deals worth billions and repairing a relationship damaged by the Sikh separatist controversy under Trudeau.
Hong Kong Jack: Carney's speech was "heavily laden with management speak"
Both Australia and Canada noted for carefully managing their relationships with Trump's America — characterised in Australian political cartoons as competitive sycophancy
Canada is the US's largest oil supplier — giving it significant strategic importance as the Iran conflict strains global supply
🇺🇸 Clinton Depositions & the Epstein Files
[01:08:19]
Hillary and Bill Clinton both deposed before the House Oversight Committee's Epstein investigation.
Hillary described as giving as good as she got — "slapping around" committee members including Lauren Boebert
Boebert violated rules by photographing Clinton during the deposition and circulating it on social media
Bill Clinton, now in his mid-80s, was photographed reviewing Epstein documents with an expression compared to "being handed photos from your university days"
Pam Bondi called to give evidence before the committee
The drip-feed release of Epstein files assessed as likely to tantalise the public for years
🏏 Cricket: New Zealand Stun South Africa in T20 World Cup
[01:12:13]
New Zealand knocked South Africa out of the T20 World Cup semi-final in commanding fashion.
NZ won for the loss of just one wicket in the 12th over
Opening stand of 117 between Finn Allen (100 not out, 33 balls) and Tim Seifert (58)
South Africa dropped early catches (Markram and De Kock) before recovering in the field
Key wicket-takers: Rishi Ravindra 2/29 off 4, Lockie Ferguson 1/29 off 4, Matt Henry 2/34 off 4
South Africa reportedly unhappy about dew conditions favouring New Zealand
Preview: If England beat India, Jack the Insider tips New Zealand to win the final; if India make it, India are favoured
England's Jacob Bethell and Will Jacks both highlighted as players in strong form
🏈 AFL Season Preview — Round Zero
[01:17:46]
The AFL season kicks off tonight with Sydney Swans hosting Carlton — and there's a little needle given Charlie Curnow's move from Carlton to the Swans.
Tonight's game & key players:
Charlie Curnow (two-time Coleman Medallist) now wearing #35 for Sydney — seen as a great fit
Carlton: watch Jager Smith (ball-winning, skilled by foot); new recruits Highwood and Oli Florent (a running halfback who should improve Carlton's ball use into the forward 50)
Sydney are $1.30 favourites
Round Zero schedule:
Friday night: Gold Coast Suns vs Geelong Cats (Gold Coast)
Saturday: GWS Giants vs Hawthorn; Brisbane Lions vs Western Bulldogs
Sunday evening: St Kilda vs Collingwood (MCG)
2026 Eight predictions:
Likely improvers into the eight: Western Bulldogs, St Kilda (Wanganeen-Milera highlighted as a "gun"), Sydney, potentially Richmond
Shaky members of last year's eight: Collingwood, Adelaide, Hawthorn
West Coast and Richmond assessed as likely bottom-dwellers, though Richmond showing improvement
North Melbourne need a strong year to justify their high draft investment
New rules discussion:
Ruck rule: ruckmen must not cross the centre circle line or concede a free kick — both Jack the Insider and Hong Kong Jack predict the rule will be reinterpreted by around June; Brady Grundy already exploiting it
Last-touch out-of-bounds between the arcs now results in a free kick rather than a boundary throw-in — expected to create grey areas
Interchange: 23-man squads replacing the 22+1 concussion sub; reduced interchange rotations
🏉 PNG Enters the NRL
[01:26:59]
Discussion of Papua New Guinea's upcoming entry into the NRL competition, backed by AUD 600 million in federal government funding.
Seen as valuable "soft power" for Australia in the Pacific
Could help unify a fractured, tribal society around a shared sporting identity — PNG has a passionate rugby league culture
Colourful anecdote from the late Andrew Peacock involving Sean Dorney (the late ABC Pacific correspondent) — who, it turns out, was the halfback for the PNG national rugby league team and received a hero's welcome that Peacock initially assumed was for him
🏉 NRL Vegas Rounds 1 & 2
[01:16:40]
Brief discussion of the NRL's Vegas rounds — marred by Channel 9 only broadcasting one of the two games free-to-air, with the earlier game going unannounced, confusing viewers.
🏏 Alyssa Healy's Farewell ODI
[01:25:50]
A lovely send-off for Alyssa Healy in her final ODI for Australia — scoring a century in her last innings, with husband Mitchell Starc commentating in the box.
Starc visibly unimpressed when Healy came on to bowl, commenting dryly: "It's a bit harder than it looks, isn't it?"
Celebrated as one of the great Australian women's cricketers
🎙️ Closing — Kyle & Jackie O, and the Gold-Plated Oval Office
[01:29:53]
Jack the Insider wrote a light-hearted column for The Australian on the Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O split — a welcome moment of levity in a heavy news week
Hong Kong Jack: the Trump Oval Office, now festooned in gold, looks like "Liberace decorated it on a coke bender" — or like wandering into a London Indian restaurant. He's waiting for the first world leader to walk in and order the chicken tikka masala.
Thanks to listeners Greg and Ray for writing in. Drop the Two Jacks a line via their website or on X — tell them what you want to discuss, or give them a blast.
