As a new season sets in and the NRL sets its sights on a possible Friday night footy adventure into Sarajevo or Constantinople, our heroes emerge from the gloom with a belated but brazen return to the microphone for 2026.

An off season deemed not really worth coming back early for is swiped left quicker than an undesired Tinder approach, and the introspection sorely missing from the current sporting agenda is bombarded with the podcast equivalent of a barrage of unsolicited d**kpics. Our heroes have 3 main issues on their mind around the Why Brisbane Broncos: why have they always been fibbing about Payne Haas and coach Michael Maguire's friendship, why Brisbane media scribes are fibbing about his apparently stated desired longevity at the club, and- to quote the 90's cult classic Hot Shots2- why did we bring helium instead of air?

Moving the crosshairs onto NRL Hq, John Mannings attempt at an measured and un emotionally impacted take on State of Origin eligibility changes holds about as much credibility as Australia's T20 cricket squad, who don't escape a spray for combined ineptitude and failure to capitalise on its enormous talent pool. But, aka Mark Waugh, it's easy to throw stones at the setup when you're not a selector anymore. BY THE WAY ORIGIN, why don't you just say you want to see Kiwis and Tongans spending hard earned on $160 synthetic blue and maroon jerseys and talk less about your version of the games fabric? 

Shitty newscorp headlines claiming non existent beefs are cross examined with prejudice, as is the ABC Sport claim that Australia is the moguls capital of the world. In short- both are BS. But how good is winter sport when all of our would be cereal box heroes have their faces mostly covered by ski masks? 'Look honey, it's Jakarta Anthony.. oh wait no, shit, this is a home invasion!'

Six nations rugby adulation rounds out a romp worthy of several replays, with a sprinkle of some classic stories from our heroes alter ego existences as prolific (but never spared from the wrath of a withering director) actors. These idiots are just getting started baby. 

2026, the year of the Grapple. Look it up.