It’s chaos as always as the rugby logo moidia dishes up the same number of shoddy headlines, only with less personnel on the tools. Our heroes call into question some of the analytical reads read out by B. Read to millions of mainstream readers. Short version: they stink.

Assistant coaches are moving and shaking, rugby league is trying to dine out on the English Super League, as the English team deals with the apparent anxiety and stress of what their own coach described poor buildup to a first test fizzle. As one coach spouts the doldrums, across hemispheres another takes a Fifita sized gamble at the Rabbitohs offer a lifeline to the much maligned Lou Ferrigno doppleganger. 

The wallabies need serious work and international windows are seemingly sealed against Australian prosperity. Bring them all in whenever they’re available says we. 

And we can deal with a crash back to earth from our usually all conquering women’s cricket team. A World Cup semi final defeat with 338 on the board batting first doesn’t impact the belief this team remains our country’s best across all codes and comers. Besides, winning in front of a packed Indian home crowd is a treacherous prospect. Spare a thought for the 2 NRL teams who might just end up playing a season opener there if Peter ‘Napoleon’ Vlandys gets his way. 

Life is for staring down 10 year bans, seeking releases, Pappling, and Grappling.

Declare it to be dug, 

It shalt be dugeth 

Because life will always be a grapple 

The sun rises on an all new ashes series

The Kangaroos team has raised a couple of vexing queries

Our women’s cricket team continues in their merry way

The Wallabies, the NFL, The NBA and Shohei Otahn-ey

Our heroes assess international eligibility and the role of the Kangaroos assistant coach who calls himself a Bull and confronts many targets of his media crosshairs ahead of the Rugby League Ashes. Perhaps a more credentialed and active coaching appointment might have made sense?

Meantime.. the buildup to Crickets Ashes- the actual and only Ashes- continues, but buildup attention turns to Australia's all conquering womens team. Are they the best womens team across any sport, including our all conquering Diamonds? Yes.

Amid it all.. the Grapplers are grappling with a swearing ban, and might still let a few slip, not unlike Ange Postecoglou when he lost a job inside 40 days. Like Ange though, the swears will never really go away. Unlike him, they wont likely win us any trophies though.

DIG IT.

The Slightest Sniff of Context

In the off season you think there’s nothing to do

Why not stay up late and watch the Kangroos

Whilst we can always rely on a scandal to keep things spicey

Just don’t listen to the media… they info can always a tad 

The N and L have been removed as prefixes to 360 and this new mob have deeper pockets than Long John Silver. But PVL is his winsome had gone all Don Corleone on players and agents who choose to “ go against the family. Lomax, Papi and Payno will be checking their beds for horses heads. 

The Roos are clashing for the ashes and the Wallabies have a new 10….. another one….. mad Marky Mark still has his Wallabies carry on. 

Craig may be giving Hannay a Bellyache but as always the story often gets in the way of truth. Truth seekers honour keepers.

Life is definitely a Grapple this week 

We will fly way up high

Where the cold wind blows

The Wallabies leave their worst til last

And you will free the beautiful bird

That's caught inside your heart

Oscar Piastri falls afoul of the favourite child at McLaren

And that's the way it's gonna be, little darling

We'll be riding on the horses yeah, yeah

Noone's talking about it, but we will. For the majority of the episode if you don't mind.

Forget about Melbourne's inexplicable stage fright, sponsorship nuances for the Dolphins because of a crosstown rivals latest explosion, the worst dressed boss in world sport, Wallaby fizzlesd and formula 1's worst ever bro-feud. Forget about all of it.

Because the Brisbane Broncos and Reece Walsh. That is all.

DIG IT.

Talty Must be salty after missing the big dance

As Teddy plays it steady with a season ending romance

The Bledisloe heads West to the land of the bears

As the AFL bounces the bounce.. amidst officiating safety fears

As one of our heroes is this week in the throes of impending ecstasy as Grand Final week descends, the other laments what a 4-0 Colts would have looked like if not for AD Mitchell pulling an old school TO against the Rams. If you know you know.

The Broncos bear the pressure of the Lions cracking win and the Storm feel the load of being in a Grand Final…… and very second bloody year!

Unpacked is Cleary’s final word on the season 25, The Sharks falling short yet again, Nawanquintawase hitting the mark with hi call heading back to Rah Rah and speaking of Rah Rah, the guys who stolen their name from Braith and Buzz’s nightly Dutch Rudder, R360 propose a clandestine raid on Australia Oval ball experts.

Where to next PVL? Who will he ban to maintain the, forever under attack, integrity of Rugba Leg?

Players?

Agents?

Jimmy Kimmel?

Only time will tell.

Lets Broncos and Melbourne can get Thunderstrucked for all Joely cares.

The tips are in, balls have been placed on the line as our great game reaches it crescendo.

Will Munster be the conductor?

Will Walsh slurp from the spit in the sax?

Will Ezra blow on the woodwind or will Payne tackle the Brass?

It’s a Graptacular this week boys and girls, so Keep Calm and Grapple

Stage is set, and we’re gunna go right over the top..

with Cliches, claims and predictions that are gunna be hard to cop.

Don't despair, don't lose hope there’ll be smatterings of intelligent chat

But its the Grapple Baby and its finals…and that is mutha fuckin that

This week our heroes wax lyrical about the Rugby League Worlds very own T1000…Penrith can't be bargained with, they can’t be reasoned with. they don't feel pity, remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop... ever, until you are dead!

Can they get past the Prodigal Ponies on Sunday in a triumphant return to arvo finals footy? Most likely not as Madge will no doubt make some eyebrow raising, boneheaded, flummoxing selection changes when he should simply abide by the age old Rugby League adage-“too many hamstrings spoil the broth”.

Melbourne with the likely return of the Diver and little Papi seem certain to book a spot at the dance for 47th time under Bellyaches rein of terror, but standing in their way are a bunch of teeth bearing Selachimorpha, playing at a level and with a patience seldom seen in the genus since 2016. Two GF replays from the last decade. Prelim weekend never gets any better.

Speaking of species specific encounters, the felines take centre stage at the G on Saturday.

One mob hoping to slink through, scratch a post or two, piss on someone's jacket and settle down to a plate of Whiskas whilst paying no one any attention. Another looking to tear their way through a jungle, rip to shreds anything that dares to make contact and create a dynasty of the early 2000’s variety. Our heroes never doubted them.

Wallabies to bury the AB’s at Eden Park, Europe to go B2B in the Ryder Cup and as we’ve known for at least 3 weeks now, The Colts are gunna win the Super Bowl.

No Broader problem but definitely plenty of Grappling to be done, just like Buzz Grappling with who his next faux feud needs to be with.

Hey Liver Lips.... Come Get some.

Grapple out.

As things in the NRL start heat up in the finals, one Rooster looks like he could be on the rotisserie ready to be bagged up and left in a warmer at your Coles Local for a much longer time than the health department recommends.

And as that Rooster rapidly bakes up a near lethal dose of footy salmonella, an equally pungent stench descends upon the crimson and myrtle of Redfern and our heroes tackle the biggest question in sports today-

Will Wayne cut the cheese?

Speaking of things that stink, Ashley Klown lives to leave an odour on another final, we unpack how the Raiders followed through in the last 20 minutes and the MRC, Judiciary and pretty much the whole NRL cop a well earned crop dusting of verbal, grapplised Flatulence .

Never ones to shy away from toilet humour and characterise the once proud NRL as mere Banther Fodder.

Stay calm, keep Grappling and watch out for Mynocks.

Sometimes you need to make up or invoke far fetched hollywood movie plots or fairytales to try and translate some of the NRL's decision making; and in the case of the backflip on a would be Nicho Hynes finals missing hip drop charge, look no further than the 1999 Crime Thriller 'Double Jeopardy;' with Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd basically explaining why a hip drop that's already been charged cant be charged twice, or in this case wasnt actually a hip drop in the first place. Don't worry, the movie didnt make a lot of sense either.

It is finals time and our heroes reckon the Suns will scorch the fur off the Lions back at the Gabba, while the ultimate prize will be realised at the end of a Snoop Dogg inspired All-Victorian GF.

The Wallabies will be without a veteran Nudgee College old boy for the Bledisloe and we think that's a bit average. So, James O'Connor, please tell Leicester to eat a big bowl of No Flakes and suit up, after you help dismantle the Pumas again and claim an unlikely rugby championship of course. Same to you Will Skelton, at 2 metres and change tall surely you can stand up/over your bosses at La Rochelle? We're busy trying to build an army like Rassie Erasmus did with the Springboks, only our will be better,

NRL finals tips are locked in and thousands of timelines and permutations analysed. Beautiful minds come together as algorithms and calculations are written in white pen on windows overlooking the Princeton forecourt, and Ed Harris torments us with his supposedly non existent CIA agent. And like the imaginary little girl in that movie, the concept of the Panthers doing it all again NEVER GETS OLD.

Life = Grapple x 100000000 + Digging it

This week our Humble Heroes are back on deck in the bunker and spewing forth truth bombs for those whose ears are lucky enough to bath in the self-righteousness. Only the most critical of questions being asked in a forum that has zero space for whim, levity or hoopla.

Does Madge have the Broncos cherry ripe, or has he run the arse out of Ghem, Dunny Drinker and friends too early?

Will Nicho miss the first week of the finals or will the MRC show that they actually have allowed the injury severity to dictate the grading?

Will the MENSA hopeful at Fox Sports finally work out the word 'Mitigate" means and why won't Joe Scmidt listen to our positional ideas?

Dripping with faux hubris, wrapped in borderline truthful outrage and always as insightful as the bloke who controls the Sky Racing volume at the Brekky Creek front bar on a Saturday.

Just like all good art, The Grapple raises more questions than it answers.

Get on board with what's being done here... sporting salvation awaits.

A rolling Grappler gathers no moss.

Our heroes reunite for a fearless and graceful series of pirouettes through an array of Winter ending sporting shenanigans.

The NRL's penultimate round has penultimately proven that the NRL actual top 4, which is actually a top 3, is penultimately better than anything below it- especially the Raiders and Penultimate-rith. The Broncos and Cowboys submitted the final evidence required for such a conclusion in their match, that was played in the.... what's the word again for the second last of something? Anyway, it was the defence of two teams worthy of second last, and last. The fact one of them is 4th is a stirringly head scratching statistic.

Dominos are falling everywhere in the NRL, and it’s not just in the coaching ranks. Josh Hannay is a domino superglued to the Lino, and his quest a the Titans is dissected on a logistical, physical and emotional level by our two totally unbiased toward Hannay tyros. 
Explosive reporting around the NRL from the News Corp extended family is both shocking and frequently chicken little'ish. Pulling up sore at training is not the equivalent of a suddenly fallen sky. But let’s print it that way anyway and keep the lot of us on our toes. 

Dastardly allegations also threaten the Perth Bears pre-birth good ju ju- not necessarily their own doing. The devils are inside the walls, those walls in this case being a demountable at Gold Coast titans HQ. 

Elsewhere, commentators are talking up the rise of Los Pumas, who everyone already knows have been good for years. Or doesn’t throwing 60 on the wallabies count as good anymore? Speaking of the wallabies.. anyone up for a test? They’re a bit light on numbers, as current and future coaches mull the opinions of many outside the sanctum, which are basically ‘PUT SUALI’I IN THE 15.’

Life as always remains a grapple. Dig away at will.