As we spiral headlong into a cultural collision course with Las Vegas and its Allegiant Stadium…curiously  dubbed the Death Star…. Our heroes lifelong quest to uncover the Sith, who are really running the NRL , is realised. And you’ll be shocked who Darth Jar Jar actually is. 

This explosive revelation is made all the more real when we exclusively reveal the lofty heights which Emperor Palpatine….cough.. I mean PVL believes the broadcast reach will be in PNG some 20 years in the futire!  We also can tell you the preferred play the ball speed for 2026….cue the 6 again sound FX.

We also dub Ivan and Nathan Cleary the Neo and Morphius of the NRL after cracking the Judiciary Matrix….. or are the Daniel Caffey and Jo Gallowy…. You decide, but the upshot is Nathan did not order the Code Red, and hence is free to play against the Donkeys Round 1.

Whilst League in America is our focus this week, Craig Tiley’s defection to Flushing Queens to join the Nanny named  Fran does not go unnoticed. For once the Sepo’s are looking Down Under to improve sports entertainment. Our two experts still need convincing he’ll have as big an impact as a suave English single dad, but only time will tell. (Oh Mr Sheffield!)

More movie quotes than IMDB, more silly voices than the Mrs Doubtfire outtakes and more cliches than you can poke a stick at.

Get busy Grappling or get busy dying