Being Human

Episode 285: Venting Isn't Always Healing: The Difference Between Sharing Truth and Feeding Resentment


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Getting it all off your chest is supposed to be healing. But sometimes the venting that feels like relief is quietly feeding your resentment instead. In this episode, Dr. Greg sits down with Fr. Gregory Pine—author of Training the Tongue—to explore why the deepest purpose of speech is communion, and how to tell the difference between working through your pain and simply settling the score.

Key Topics:

  • Why the real purpose of speech isn't expressing yourself — it's communion
  • How to tell whether you're venting toward healing or just venting to settle the score
  • Why the friend who only ever agrees with you might be the one holding you back
  • What separates a listener who helps you grow from one who only feeds your anger
  • Why "getting it off your chest" can leave the wound exactly where it was
  • How custody of the tongue is good news, not one more rule to feel guilty about

Learn More:

  • Fr. Gregory Pine's book: Training the Tongue and Growing Beyond Sins of Speech
  • Previous episodes on parts work (IFS):
    • Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens
    • Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski
  • Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns:
    • Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns
  • Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns:
    • Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation
  • Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns:
    • Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation
  • Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns:
    • Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing
  • Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns:
    • Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary
  • Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation
  • Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment

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Being HumanBy Dr. Gregory Bottaro

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