By popular demand, Kait, Renata, and returning guest Anna of Bellwether Friends read Grey by E. L. James. It’s Fifty Shades of Grey from the point of view of Christian Grey and his talkative cock. We went on record as… well, not quite fans of the original book, but we didn’t hate it. Unfortunately, Christian’s POV made us long for Ana’s inner goddess. If you take a drink every time we say the word “gross” in this episode, you’ll be very well-hydrated!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Anna’s Fifty Shades Readalikes Project

In Defense of Fifty Shades of Grey (Sort Of)

All the Things Christian Grey’s Cock Gets Up to in the New Fifty Shades

An Epic Chart of 162 YA Retellings

Only Your Housekeeper Knows For Sure

Candy pairing: Anna says ABC gum, Kait says generic Valentine’s chocolates (forgotten at the bottom of a purse), Renata says apples.

Coming up next: Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard.

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(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)