Kait, Renata, and their guest Caitlin read Killing Lincoln by Bill O’Reilly & Martin Dugard. And–because we care about the youth of America–we also read the young readers’ adaptation, Lincoln’s Last Days, by Bill O’Reilly and Dwight Jon Zimmerman. These books put forth the truly shocking thesis that Abraham Lincoln was a good dude and John Wilkes Booth was a bad dude. But also that they were both pretty sexy? And most importantly: USA! USA! USA! Listen now to hear three sockdologizing old mantraps play a rousing game of Fucking, Marrying, Killing and speculate on how history might have turned out differently if only Abraham Lincoln had taken a cat to the theater with him.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Lincoln Home National Historic Site

Lincoln Homestead State Park

Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum

Kait + Creepy John Wax Booth
(sorry, these are scanned in from Early Internet Days and we don’t know where the originals are to re-scan)

Renata + Creepy John Wax Booth
(sorry, these are scanned in from Early Internet Days and we don’t know where the originals are to re-scan)

Candy pairing:  Caitlin says fancy old timey hard candy, Kait says Boy Scout popcorn, Renata says mystery Dum Dums.

Coming up next: One For the Money by Janet Evanovich.

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(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)