Can people change? How continuous is identity? With YOU'VE CHANGED: The Promise and Price of Self-Transformation (William Morrow), Benoit Denizet-Lewis explores the concepts of personal change and change-in-the-world, the ways we find identities and community, and the peril of changing into our parents (haha). We talk about how we define change and transformation, what happens when we think we've changed but the people in our lives don't notice any difference, how his husband feared that he would change too much in the writing of the book, and how the American narrative of change equals "overcoming one's problems." We get into how he made his own story of change and addiction part of the book (while guarding his privacy), whether change involves finding a core self or something new, whether redemption is possible for people who committed heinous crimes, what happened the time he got scientifically tested about his sexual preferences, and the chapter he wishes he could've included in the book. We also discuss who he's reading, whether the therapy that works for him now would have helped when he was younger, how one can prioritize one's own happiness while the world is (let's say) ending, his hallucinations in Esalen, and a lot more. Follow Benoit on Instagram and Bluesky • More info at our site • Support The Virtual Memories Show via Stripe, Patreon, or Paypal, and subscribe to our e-newsletter