DEBORAH TANNEN, best known for YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND: Women and Men in Conversation, 4 years on the NYTimes bestseller list, 8 months at #1. This conversation is about 2 later books: First, I ONLY SAY THIS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU on why we have so much trouble communicating within families - could be helpful with Thanksgiving coming up. The second, THE ARGUMENT CULTURE focuses on public discourse. Way back in 2002, she made the point that our society had become overwhelmingly adversarial, with consequences not only in our ability to solve problems but also in our personal relationships. We have all been the victims of how that has played out in the two decades since.