Equal-ish

What if the path to a more equal home life didn’t require a huge conversation… but just one small experiment?

In this After the Interview episode of Equal-ish, Kate and Rachel reflect on their conversation with Hayley Swenson from New America and put some of the Better Life Lab behavioural experiments to the test in their own families.

The idea behind the experiments is simple: instead of trying to redesign your entire relationship or household system, start with small habit changes that gently shift behaviour over time.

Rachel explores how simple boundary-setting tools can help protect work-life balance and reduce the pressure to always be “on”. Kate shares how “sharing the magic” can sometimes reveal that the things we spend hours creating aren’t even the things our kids care most about.

We also touch on fascinating new research from Miranda Dotson exploring division of labour in relationships where one partner is trans or non-binary. Her work introduces the concept of “gender heritage” — the idea that the way we are socialised as children may influence how we divide household labour more than our current gender identity.

It’s a reminder that the patterns couples struggle with today often begin long before relationships even start.

If equality at home feels overwhelming, this episode offers a different approach: start small, experiment, and see what shifts.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Read the Miranda Dodson article

This episode is proudly supported by the Relationscapes Podcast

What if the reason equality at home feels impossible isn’t a lack of commitment but a lack of time?

This week, Kate and Rachel sit down with Haley Swenson, gender researcher and deputy director at New America, to explore the work behind the Better Life Lab Experiments (BLLX) — an initiative focused on practical, evidence-informed ways to rebalance household labor.

Hayley shares how BLLX emerged from a simple but urgent question: if we have decades of data showing unequal division of labor at home, why do we have so little evidence about what actually helps couples change it?

Drawing on behavioral science, design thinking, and real families’ lived experiences, BLLX takes a different approach. Instead of promising perfect equality, it encourages couples to run small, low-stakes experiments — from rethinking chore systems to redefining holiday expectations.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why the most overwhelmed partner is often the one searching for solutions

• How “too busy to change” becomes the biggest barrier to change

• Why buy-in (not chore charts) is often the real starting point

• The hidden emotional stakes of holidays and “magic making”

• How giving your partner the benefit of the doubt can shift everything

• What it means to design equity for real, messy, overworked families

Hayley also reflects candidly on her own marriage — including her surprise at discovering that even in a same-sex relationship, patterns of unequal labor can still emerge. Find out more about the BLL experiments here:

Better Life Lab Experiments 

All The Things Spreadsheet

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

This episode is supported by Relationscapes Podcast.

What becomes visible about a relationship when the romance is removed?

In this new After the Interview episode, Kate and Rachel reflect on their powerful conversation with mediator and parent coordinator Traci Cherrier. We unpack the realities of co-parenting after separation and why the same lessons apply to couples who are still together.

The statistics are sobering:

• 39% of separated parents say unequal caring responsibilities contributed to their breakup.

• Working couples where mothers carry primary childcare are 92% more likely to separate.

• 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

But this isn’t a doom-and-gloom episode. Instead, we explore:

• What “parallel parenting” teaches us about trust and control

• Why separated couples often communicate more intentionally than married ones

• The power of writing down shared values before conflict hits

• How unspoken expectations about gender roles quietly erode relationships

• And why “great advice” is so hard to implement in real life

Whether you’re co-parenting across two homes or navigating equality under one roof, this episode will challenge you to rethink how you communicate, divide responsibility, and re-contract your relationship as life changes.

Because if Equal-ish was easy, we wouldn’t need this conversation.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What does “equal-ish” look like when you’re no longer a couple? This was a question Kate and Rachel have been pondering for a while. 

In this powerful conversation, mediator and parent coordinator Traci Cherrier joins Rachel and Kate to unpack the emotional and practical realities of co-parenting after separation. From navigating the grief cycle to shifting from intimate communication to business-like collaboration, Traci offers grounded, compassionate guidance for families in transition. But there was so much of the conversation that we can all take into our journey to be more equal-ish. 

We explore:

• Why one partner may already be “ahead” in the grief process

• The difference between cooperative and parallel parenting

• How to move from a victim mindset to empowered decision-making

• Why documenting agreements clearly can reduce future conflict

• And the most important question mediators ask couples at odds

At the heart of it all is one powerful idea: even when your relationship changes, your shared hopes for your children can become your glue.

This episode is essential listening for anyone navigating separation — or supporting families who are.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this After the Interview episode, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino unpack the conversations they couldn’t stop thinking about after speaking with behavioural economist Dr Corinne Low. Corinne Low, PhD is an associate professor of business economics and public policy at the Wharton School, and the author of Having It All (Femononics in the UK).

We reflect on what it really means to bring “ruthless practicality” into how we choose partners, and how we raise children who might one day want equalish relationships of their own. From the hidden economics shaping how couples value time, money, and care, to the emotional backlash many women feel when they invest time in themselves, this episode explores the tension between rational decision-making and deeply ingrained social norms.

We sit with some of the hardest questions the data raises: 

• why the years when childcare and household labour peak are often the most strained for relationships

• how easily these conversations can slide into gender blame 

• whether outsourcing domestic work genuinely lightens the load, or simply shifts responsibility and privilege elsewhere.

There are no easy answers here. Just honest reflections on how couples are trying to navigate love, work, parenting, and fairness inside a system that was never designed to support them.

Find out more about Corinne’s work here: www.corinnelow.com 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

In this episode of Equal-ish, Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs are joined by economist and author Dr. Corinne Low, whose book Having It All blends rigorous data with deeply human stories about work, love and parenthood.

Corinne takes us inside the economics of the modern household — explaining why gender equality at home has stalled, why parenting time has exploded, and why women’s stress and burnout aren’t personal failures but predictable outcomes of a broken system. Drawing on time-use data, labour market research and behavioural economics, she unpacks the myths we still cling to: from romanticising the 1950s household to assuming equality will “sort itself out.”

Together, we explore invisible labour, status quo bias, reproductive capital, and the parenting “arms race” that’s making family life feel impossible — especially for working mothers. Most importantly, Corinne offers a practical, empowering reframe: how women can stop trying to “lean in” to a broken system and instead renegotiate work, partnership and parenting on more sustainable terms.

If you find yourself asking: Why does this still feel so hard, and what can we actually do about it? This conversation is for you.

Find out more about Corinne’s work here: www.corinnelow.com 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this first After the Interview episode of Equal-ish, Kate and Rachel reflect on their conversation with Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands, and explore the tensions that lingered once the microphones were off.

We explore what happens when couples are encouraged to “support the career that earns more”, and why that logic might reinforce traditional roles rather than disrupting them.

In this conversation we unpack:

• Why money decisions are never just economic

• How our money scripts (shaped by childhood, gender norms and past experiences) quietly drive conflict

• How income differences can turn into power imbalances

• Why focusing on efficiency can erase ambition, identity and care

• Why missed caregiving time is a loss we rarely measure

Rather than offering tidy answers, this episode invites you to hold the complexity. We leave you with this one question:  

What decisions are you making now that the future you might regret?

Find out more about Modern Husbands here:

• Modern Husband’s website

• Modern Husbands: Family Financial Planning Calculator  

Subscribe and Follow to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Achieving balance in both parenting and finances can feel overwhelming for couples. In this episode of Equal-ish, hosts Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino delve into the importance of teamwork in financial management with Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands. Join us as we explore how childhood experiences shape our money habits, how gender norms around money, care, and breadwinning quietly shape our relationships — and often limit both partners.

Brian shares:

• Why he defines equality as equal leisure time, not 50/50 task lists

• How outdated breadwinner expectations still shape men’s choices (and anxieties)

• Why early childcare and career decisions compound financially for decades

• How couples can think of their household as a shared micro-economy

• Why money conflicts are rarely about money — and what they’re really about instead

This conversation offers a grounded, emotionally honest look at what it really takes to build a fair, sustainable partnership in modern family life. Find out more about Modern Husbands here:

• Modern Husband’s website

• Modern Husbands: Family Financial Planning Calculator 

• Dr. Claudia Goldin’s research on the gender pay gap

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Explore the science of modern parenthood, attachment, and partnership during our reflections from our interview with evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin. Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, writer and broadcaster who is world renowned for her work into the science and anthropology of human love and fatherhood.  She is the author of the Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father and Why We Love: The Definitive Guide to our Most Fundamental Need. She is the lead scientist for the new dating app LoveJack.

In the coaching edit, Kate and Rachel go deeper into the science, and the practical implications, of what equal parenting really means, offering key insights for couples who want to parent as a true team.

Key Takeaways:

• Dads are naturally caregivers – Emotional detachment in fathers is socially constructed, not biological. Fathers’ hormones respond to caregiving, just like mothers’.
  

• Attachment matters – Children thrive with multiple attachments; strong parental bonds support resilience and pro-social behavior.
  

• Emotional intimacy fuels parenting – High emotional connection between partners increases confidence and involvement in dads.
  

• Invest in your relationship before baby arrives – Conversations about values, roles, and expectations build strong foundations for equitable parenting.
  

• Redefine gender norms – Challenge traditional ideas of motherhood and fatherhood; write your own parenting scripts.
  

• Social networks are vital – Romantic love isn’t the only important bond. Friendships, family, and community connections boost happiness and health.

Click here to download the free values activity

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to listen to the next episode. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this episode, evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin challenges everything you thought you knew about fatherhood. From hormone shifts and brain changes to the unique ways dads build attachment, Anna unpacks why fathers are wired to be caretakers, not just breadwinners, and how their involvement shapes resilience, social skills, and mental health in children.

Kate and Rachel dive into:

• The evolutionary roots of fatherhood and why caregiving, not earning, is innate.

• How dads uniquely “scaffold” children’s growth and prepare them for the world.

• The importance of secure attachment, sensitive parenting, and playful involvement.

• Why societal norms and workplace cultures, not biology, often prevent dads from fully engaging.

• How couples can use pregnancy to prepare for parenthood, maintain relationship strength, and navigate the early years together.

This episode is essential listening for any parent, partner, or parent-to-be who wants to understand the science behind equal parenting, and how to put it into practice in today’s world.

Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, writer and broadcaster who is world renowned for her work into the science and anthropology of human love and fatherhood.  She is the author of the Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father and Why We Love: The Definitive Guide to our Most Fundamental Need.  She has written for The New York Times, The Observer and The Guardian among others, works regularly with the BBC and national and international broadcast media and recently appeared on The Diary of a CEO podcast.  She is the lead scientist for the new dating app LoveJack.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.