Erasing Shame

Jesus, I’m Still Pouring… But I’m Dry

You’re still showing up.
Still serving.
Still pouring into others…

But inside? You’re dry.
Not just tired—empty.
And wondering, "Jesus… how much longer can I do this?"

In this honest conversation with my pastor, we’re talking about what most people in ministry feel—but few are allowed to say out loud.
This isn’t a polished highlight reel.
It’s raw.
It’s real.
It’s for the ones who feel like they’re running on fumes.

We talk about:

• Leading through spiritual numbness

• Mental health and ministry—what pastors aren’t saying

• The lie that leaders can’t fall apart

• What it means to obey when you feel nothing

• And how grace doesn’t shame you—it meets you in the dry places

Dry doesn’t mean done.
Silence doesn’t mean God is absent.
Jesus never pulls away—it’s us who drift. But He’s still right there, unshaken and unmoved.

🎧 Listen now—because even when you’re empty, Jesus will never be.
Run to the Living Water.
He’s not afraid of your burnout—He’s the One who restores it.
He’s near to the weary, ready to refresh your soul.
You don’t need to be strong—you just need to be honest.

We’ve been told that if your faith starts falling apart, you’re in danger.
But what if that’s exactly where Jesus shows up?

This isn’t an episode about walking away from God.
It’s about tearing down the fake, the forced, the fear-based religion—
and finding a God who never  asked you to perform in the first place.

In this raw and redemptive conversation, author Alysha Tatiana Lee shares how the breakdown of everything she thought she believed… became the breakthrough that brought her back to the real Jesus.

We talk about:

• Surviving spiritual abuse and reclaiming your voice

• The lies religion teaches us about God—and the truth Jesus reveals

• Why deconstruction doesn’t mean destruction

• And what faith can look like when it’s no longer built on fear

If you’re tired of pretending, tired of shallow answers,
and ready to meet the Jesus who sits with you in the wreckage—This one will wreck you in the best way.

Because sometimes the most sacred thing God can do… is let what’s false fall apart.

Link to Alysha's book: 

https://www.amazon.com/Everything-I-Might-Have-Missed/dp/B0DSTD4GWY

Jesus and Therapy? Yes. You can have both. — with Charles Mortensen

Let’s not sugarcoat it:

Needing help doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re done pretending.

And therapy? It’s not a betrayal of your faith. It’s how some of us finally start to breathe again.

We’ve been told:

• “You just need to pray more.”
• “Therapy is for people who don’t trust God.”
• “If you were really spiritual, you wouldn’t struggle.”

Lies.

Straight-up lies that have kept too many of us silently drowning.

In this raw and honest conversation, licensed therapist and Jesus-loving soul Charles Mortensen pulls back the curtain on what real healing looks like—not just spiritual, but emotional, mental, and rooted in truth.

This episode is for:

• The ones who still show up to church but feel numb inside
• The ones who’ve prayed until their voice cracked but still feel stuck
• The ones who love Jesus but don’t know how to face the wounds they buried

We’re unpacking:

• What therapy can do that church sometimes can’t
• The secret signs someone’s breaking—even when they look “fine”
• How unhealed trauma distorts your view of God

• Why therapy isn’t less spiritual—but often the most Spirit-led thing you can do

• And the moments of breakthrough that change everything

If you’re barely holding it together behind a Sunday smile, this is your wake-up call.

Stop letting shame have the mic.

Stop calling pain “just a phase.”

Stop waiting for healing to happen without stepping into it.

Jesus heals. And sometimes, He uses a therapist’s office to do it.

So press play. Let this episode hit you in the soul.

Because healing isn’t just possible—it’s necessary. It grows us to be the version God intends for us to be.

you don’t have to carry it all alone anymore.

Listen now. Send it to someone who’s been hiding their pain. And start the journey.

Because freedom is calling—and you are not meant to walk towards it alone.

Church is supposed to be a sanctuary.

But what happens when it becomes the place that breaks you?

In this unfiltered and courageous conversation, we're diving into the kind of pain the Church doesn’t like to talk about—church hurt.

We're talking spiritual manipulation, toxic leadership, cult-like control, and the paralyzing guilt that keeps many trapped in pews, afraid to walk away.

Our guest, Simon Andrade—host of the Free and Redeemed Podcast—knows this pain firsthand. He’s walked the road of betrayal masked as ministry, and he’s here to help us face the truth:

You're not crazy.

You’re not weak for leaving.

And Jesus is not the one who hurt you.

If you’ve ever sat in a sanctuary and felt your soul suffocate…

If you’ve ever been told to “just submit” while your spirit screamed for peace…

If you’ve wrestled with the fear that walking away from a church means walking away from God…

This episode is for you.

We’re asking the hard questions—about forgiveness, boundaries, cult-like systems, and the messy journey toward healing. Because freedom doesn’t come from silence. It comes from honesty—and honesty and truth will always lead you closer to Jesus.

We Go Deep On:

Is it just “church hurt” or is it spiritual abuse?

How do you protect your soul without hardening your heart?

Can you love Jesus and take a break from church?

Red flags of modern-day cults that don’t look like cults

Healing when you're still in pain—and learning to trust again

Raw. Honest. Necessary.

This isn’t just another podcast.

This is truth that draws us nearer to the heart of Christ.

"He turned my mourning into dancing… and my ashes into beauty."

This episode will leave you speechless—in the best way.

When the unthinkable happened, Ruth Santana’s world shattered. A betrayal that could’ve broken her, but God wasn't done writing her story.Through deep valleys of pain, therapy, and the relentless love of Jesus, Ruth found redemption, restoration… and resurrection.

A marriage on the verge of ending.
A heart learning how to forgive the impossible.
A baby girl—a beautiful chapter in a story only God could rewrite.

In this raw and real conversation, Ruth opens up about:

• Finding out about the affair—and the moment her knees hit the ground

• Learning to trust again when every voice said “walk away”

• The role of therapy, community, and the Holy Spirit in her healing

• Why pain is never wasted when placed in God's hands

• And what she’d say to the ones who are going through betrayal 

Whether you’re walking through betrayal, standing in the ruins of what once was, or hoping for healing—you’re not alone. Ruth's story is proof: God still brings beauty and life out of the ashes.

Tune in now. May this testimony be the first step towards hope and healing.

In this raw and courageous episode, we’re facing one of the hardest topics: narcissistic abuse.

Whether you grew up under the manipulation of a narcissistic parent, felt emotionally hijacked in a romantic relationship, or constantly feel drained by a “friend” who leaves you confused and questioning your worth—this episode is for you.

We’re not just talking psychology—we’re talking spiritual discernment, godly boundaries, and healing that starts deep in the soul.

We’re joined by Jenn Chen, a certified narcissistic abuse specialist who knows what this pain feels like—because she lived it. She’s not just teaching from textbooks—she’s survived the manipulation, the mind games, the spiritual gaslighting. She’s walked through the wreckage and now helps others rise from it too.

In this episode:

🔹 How to tell the difference between immaturity and manipulation—even when they come across as "godly" or "kind"

🔹 What forgiveness really means when it’s not safe to reconnect

🔹 Can narcissists actually change? Or is it all a performance?

🔹 Why therapy isn’t a lack of faith—and how God can meet you in the healing room too

🔹 How to start rebuilding your identity when shame has told you you’re the problem

This one is deep. It’s tender. It’s not about canceling people—it’s about canceling the lies that kept you stuck. Christ-centered clarity, courage, and peace that sets captives free!

If this episode gave you words for your pain or helped you feel less alone, would you consider sharing it with a friend?

You are not crazy. You are not too broken to heal. And you are not alone.

“If Jesus cares about every hair on your head, don’t you think He cares about the wounds in your heart too?”

Let Him walk with you—one session, one prayer, one brave boundary at a time.

Stay rooted. Stay real.

Subscribe & leave a review to help us break more chains together. See you on the next episode! ^.^

• Erasing Shame podcast https://erasingshame.com

This Episode Will Challenge EVERYTHING You Thought You Knew About Forgiveness! We’ve all heard it: “You HAVE to forgive AND reconcile.” But is that really what the Bible says?

If you’ve ever felt pressured to restore a relationship that wasn’t safe… If you’ve struggled with guilt for enforcing boundaries… If you’ve been told, “But that’s your FAMILY, you have to make peace,”—this episode is for YOU.

We’re diving into the TRUTH about biblical forgiveness, debunking harmful misconceptions, and giving you the freedom to heal on God’s terms, not people’s expectations.

We’re honored to welcome Hannah Lee, a 2nd-generation Korean American Christian trauma therapist. As a clinical social worker, mental health advocate, and community mentor based in Los Angeles, CA, Hannah is dedicated to helping individuals heal from deep wounds. She specializes in psychotherapy and brainspotting through her private practice, Hanaro Therapy.

In this episode, Hannah brings her professional expertise and faith-based insights to help us navigate the tension between forgiveness and reconciliation with wisdom and grace.

• Show Notes @ https://erasingshame.com/forgiveness-vs-reconciliation-breaking-free-from-false-expectations-guilt-shame/

Host Aggie Park and guest Joanne Choi explore the topics of money & wealth, through the lens of faith. In this thought-provoking episode, we dive into a challenging yet important question for people living in wealthy countries: Can we enjoy comfort and luxury while staying true to our deepest values and purpose?

💡What does it mean to live with purpose and integrity — even when you're surrounded by wealth and comfort?

✨ Why conversations about money and values matter — and how they impact our lives today.

✨ How to tell if our blessings are opportunities to grow or challenges that test our character.

✨ Finding balance between chasing wealth and rejecting it altogether.

✨ Real-life examples from the Bible of people who used their resources well — and those who didn’t.

✨ Understanding seemingly contradictory ideas about wealth, blessings, and the dangers of greed.

✨ Practical steps to avoid making money your ultimate priority while appreciating life’s blessings with gratitude.

Whether you’re feeling guilty about your blessings, struggling with materialism, or simply wanting to live a life of integrity and purpose — this conversation is for you.

🎙️ Tune in for practical guidance, eye-opening insights, and a fresh perspective on how to handle wealth and success without losing what truly matters.

🔔 Listen now and let’s explore how to live fully and authentically — even when life feels comfortable.

Joanne Choi is a remarkable woman of faith juggling many roles: mother of 4 boys, wife to Steve Choi (elder at Faith Harvest Church), owner of Health Nut, former secondary math teacher, and case manager at Door of Hope in Pasadena.

• show notes at erasingshame.com/money-wealth-and-faith-s8e02/

Aggie Park has hand-picked this Season 8 theme—"Raw, Real, & Redeemed: Christian Faith, Struggles, and what We Don’t Talk About Enough." This first episode reveals her back story, shares her experiences on TikTok and Instagram, and why she wants to start podcasting to go deeper.

Asian American Christians often struggle with vulnerability due to performance-based cultural expectations that minimize emotional and mental health concerns. This season is changing that by talking about those topics our faith communities don't talk about enough. Aggie aims to provide hope and create community for people that face similar challenges in this journey called life.

We'd love to have you join us for this whole season and subscribe in your favorite podcast app or subscribe on YouTube.

• See the Show Notes

We close out season 7 with a great appreciation for Victoria hosting many poignant conversations. I (DJ Chuang) am very grateful for her life and she has shared that with us on Erasing Shame.

Finally, I briefly talk about how religion/spirituality is helpful to many people, but also has caused adverse side effects for others. That's the new direction with season 8''s new co-host. And that's enough for now.

Show Notes at https://erasingshame.com/