Erasing Shame

Content Warning / Trigger Warning: bullying, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt. CW/TW.

In this extended episode, Naomi Smith shows her prowess in storytelling in this conversation about how food affects brain health and how that is so important to life, walking through the challenges of being biracial, becoming a film maker, discovering the value of family history, and many more vignettes.

Gracie Joo is a 2nd generation Asian-American and daughter of a Korean pastor. She illustrates and magnifies God’s heart for specific burdens that pastors' kids are born into with stories about her upbringing. These illustrations involve and are not limited to Dollar Tree Christmases, hand-me-downs from church eonnies, car misfortunes, a gifted and personalized Lexus, and the Holy’s Spirit's timely providence of friendship and perceptive reflection.

God’s heart for pastors’ kids goes beyond the rebellious-or-faithful-pastors’-kid spectrum. The Church has a special opportunity to demonstrate God’s compassion and not merely take from a pastor’s family. Church members often place Pastors’ kids on high and unwanted pedestals with a scrutinous gaze, as if the kids’ behavior measures the faith of their parents. In this conversation, Victoria Cheng and Gracie Joo peel back a few personal layers and dig into socialized legalism and their Asian immigrant church experience.

Dr. Brian Licuanan is a licensed psychologist in Orange County, California, and shares about how shame, and other factors, keeps people from getting help and treatment for their mental health challenges. Plus, he reveals a reason that goes beyond shame that causes someone to resist treatment.

Victoria needs your help.

What is our response as we bear witness to the micro and macro sufferings in our personal lives, communities, and in the world?

Where and how might Biblical lament fulfill its purpose in the modern church? How can churches be better at holding space for people grieving, processing trauma, struggling with their faith, or facing mental health challenges both short term and long-term?

How do we unlearn a self-centered and religiously infused savior complex?

Disclaimer: Victoria’s ponderings are asked within context as a 3rd-Generation Chinese-American in the USA.

Please submit your ponderings to us at erasingshame.com/contact

Show Notes at erasingshame.com

Faith Chang, author of "Peace over Perfection: Enjoying a Good God when You Feel You're Never Enough," joins Erasing Shame for a conversation about a more nuanced perspective about perfectionism, especially for Christians, how it's related to performance anxiety, and what we can do with Matthew 5:48.

Show Notes at https://erasingshame.com/how-could-perfectionism-be-a-good-thing-surprising-insights-with-faith-chang/

Most of us, if not all of us, have experienced pain and shame for being singled out, feeling lonely and isolated. And, some people have even survived violence, emotionally or physically; we do encourage people get help to have safety, quality of life, and renew a sense of hope through those challenges. We have a conversation with Prasanta Verma, author of "Beyond Ethnic Loneliness: The Pain of Marginalization and the Path to Belonging," about all that and more.

Show notes at erasingshame.com/the-pain-and-shame-of-loneliness-with-prasanta-verma

In 2016, high school Victoria met high school Christin. Somehow, Christin thought Victoria was cool- an adjective Victoria did not believe about herself to be true until 2024 when cool adult Christin met cool adult Victoria. Their current subjective definition of “cool” is equivalent to “weird- the good kind”.

Listen to the story of how the two met during one pivotal transition period for Victoria. Consider their following questions: When you are in a temporary season of life (e.g. a new school for education, a foreign country for language learning, a different state for employment) is it worth investing in new friendships? What is your general definition of a “good” friend? How do you maintain long distance friendships? What do you do when friends drain your energy or you face conflict?

Submit your answer to our bonus question at the end and your reasoning!

Show Notes at erasingshame.com/seasonal-and-long-term-community-part-1-s7e03

Hanna Lee (Gospel Care Director at Tapestry LA Church, in Los Angeles) graciously takes us on a guided tour of their church's Restoration Center, where broken people are invited to be restored by Jesus in the whole of life, through means of care, healing, and prayer.

• Show Notes at erasingshame.com/an-inside-look-at-tapestry-las-mental-health-ministry/

How does my personal background impact the way I express emotions and feelings today? How can I take care of myself while I take care of others placed within my care who are struggling with their emotional wellbeing? 

Mrs. Sarah Oh, friend, Pharmacist, mother, and Biblical Counseling Seminary student, provides personal insight on the topic of emotions. Listen in as she and Victoria scratch the surface of emotional expression and wellbeing within the context of being Asian women and Christ-followers in the United States.

https://erasingshame.com/ for show notes!

Music Credit: TVARI - Tokyo Cafe

Video Link: TVARI - Tokyo Cafe

https://youtu.be/kDa5oMjf8VM

Phillips, Dr. Anita. The Garden Within: Where the War with Your Emotions Ends and Your Most Powerful Life Begins. Harpercollins Christian Pub, 2023.

Isabel Tom shares about why it's extra challenging for us as Asian Americans to care for aging parents and grandparents. Isabel has worked in the field of senior care and shares so much wisdom, expertise, and practical knowledge that helps us navigate this inevitable season of life.

Be sure to check out her book, "The Value of Wrinkles: A Young Perspective on How Loving the Old Will Change Your Life." https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/

(Recorded in November 2023 during national caregivers month.)