Old Farts 

As I get older I seem to be farting more than I used to. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t keep a record of my farts. That would be impossible but I do have a notion that my flatuence is more intense since I turned seventy, or at least I’m getting more complaints than I used to. Richard is particularly offensive and loud in his protestations at my alleged emmissions. Especially in the car. He is theatrical. And dramatic. And loud. Not  satisfied with lowering the windows he makes choking noises. And exaggeratted smothering sounds

I find this very upsetting.  I’m also at a huge disadvantage. I  have no sense of smell.  As you,  dear reader, will know farts come in different forms.  The ones which trip me up are the silent ones. They sneak out anonymously in carpetslippers. Apparently they are also very very pungent. 

Or so Richard says. Colette is the same. Without a  sense of smell I have only their word for it.