Escape the Paradox

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Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

In this episode, I explore a message I wrote to my father in 2023, and take you through his response with me. It’s a raw and honest conversation that highlights the tactics of minimizing, denying, and blaming, which are patterns that are reflected in the power and control wheel. These dynamics are deeply familiar to many who have lived through coercive control or emotional abuse and domestic violence in any form, and my hope is that by sharing my experience, you’ll feel seen, understood, and less alone. I want my story to create space for yours, because you deserve to feel validated in what you’ve lived through. 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

E-Mail me! [email protected]

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us Fan Mail

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

Isolation is one of the most powerful tools of coercive control, and it goes far beyond just cutting someone off from friends and family. In this episode, we explore how abusers use suspicion, false accusations, and emotional manipulation to make their targets feel trapped and alone—even in everyday interactions. Through Maxine’s story, we see how isolation operates in layers, chipping away at independence, self-trust, and access to support. Recognizing these tactics is the first step in breaking free. 

A huge thanks to @maxxspressions (Threads) https://www.threads.net/@maxxpressions 

 
Knight, S. (2025, January 7). Isolation tactics abusers use to control. Shadows of Control. https://shadowsofcontrol.com/articles/isolation-tactics-abusers-use-to-control/  

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

E-Mail me! [email protected]

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us Fan Mail

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

Emotional abuse doesn’t just wound in the moment—it rewires the way we see ourselves. Over time, the insults, gaslighting, and manipulation become our own inner voice, eroding self-trust and self-worth. In Part 2, let's dive into how abuse shapes our internal narrative and what it takes to reclaim our sense of self. 

Most importantly, I want to remind you that the beliefs an abuser ingrains in you are not the truth. Healing is possible, and it starts with challenging their narrative.

Sources:

Gavin, H. (2011). Sticks and stones may break my bones: An examination of the effects of emotional abuse. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 20(5), pp.503–529. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/254356919_Sticks_and_Stones_May_Break_My_Bones_The_Effects_of_Emotional_Abuse 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

E-Mail me! [email protected]

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us Fan Mail

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars, but its impact runs deep. 

In this episode of Escape the Paradox, I talk about how emotional abuse erodes self-worth, distorts reality, and keeps targets trapped in cycles of self-doubt. I’ll share how it manifests in both subtle and overt ways, why it’s so difficult to recognize, and how the words and tactics used against me shaped my identity long after the abuse ended. 

Most importantly, I want to remind you that the beliefs an abuser ingrains in you are not the truth. Healing is possible, and it starts with challenging their narrative.

Sources:

Gama, C. M. F., Portugal, L. C. L., Gonçalves, R. M., de Souza Junior, S., Vilete, L. M. P., Mendlowicz, M. V., Figueira, I., Volchan, E., David, I. A., de Oliveira, L., & Pereira, M. G. (2021). The invisible scars of emotional abuse: a common and highly harmful form of childhood maltreatment. BMC Psychiatry, 21 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-021-03134-0 

Gavin, H. (2011). Sticks and stones may break my bones: An examination of the effects of emotional abuse. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 20(5), pp.503–529. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/254356919_Sticks_and_Stones_May_Break_My_Bones_The_Effects_of_Emotional_Abuse 

National Domestic Violence Hotline. (n.d.). Understand relationship abuse. The Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/understand-relationship-abuse/ 

National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC). (n.d.). Emotional abuse. NSPCC. https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/emotional-abuse/ 

Newton, C., & Gavin, H. (2016). Studying the long-term psychological effects of emotional abuse experienced in childhood. International Academic Conference on Social Sciences, pp. 41–49. The International Institute for Academic Development. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/314206294_Studying_The_Long-term_Psychological_Effects_of_Emotional_Abuse_Experienced_in_Childhood 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

E-Mail me! [email protected]

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us Fan Mail

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

In this episode, I delve into the element of intimidation in abusive relationships and how it oppresses the target, making escape incredibly challenging. I also share my personal experience with the very real tactics abusers use to discredit their targets, adding even more layers of difficulty to leaving.

Sources

Please see this study regarding PTSD, and the associations between experiencing trauma and threats, as in DV/IPV/Child Abuse:
Kredlow, A., Fenster, R. J., Laurent, E. S., et al. (2022). Prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and threat processing: Implications for PTSD. Neuropsychopharmacology, 47(1), pp.247–259. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41386-021-01155-7 

Please see the study which I drew on to show the similarities between threats and intimidation. This article was used more in Episode 2. 

Wood, K., Giesbrecht, C. J., Brooks, C., & Arisman, K. (2024). "I couldn't leave the farm: Rural women's experiences of intimate partner violence and coercive control." Violence Against Women. https://doi.org/10.1177/10778012241279117 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

E-Mail me! [email protected]

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us Fan Mail

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

In this episode of Escape the Paradox, let's delve into the "Coercion and Threats" section of the Power and Control Wheel. Learn how abusers use coercive tactics to instill fear and maintain control over their targets. Learn to recognize these behaviors, and understand their impact. Whether you're seeking clarity or supporting someone you care about, this episode sheds light on the covert, and difficult to verbalize, dynamics of coercive control.

Sources

I reference the Power and Control Wheel, which was developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs in Duluth, Minnesota. For more information, visit this on their website: https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/

Please see the study conducted by Wood, K., Giesbrecht, C. J., Brooks, C., & Arisman, K. in 2024: "I couldn't leave the farm: Rural women's experiences of intimate partner violence and coercive control” found at https://doi.org/10.1177/10778012241279117 which I drew on during my podcast. 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

E-Mail me! [email protected]

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us Fan Mail

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma 

In this very first episode of Escape the Paradox, I explore a common misconception: the idea that labeling an abuser—whether as a narcissist, psychopath, or anything else—somehow explains, or excuses, their behavior.

Abuse isn’t about a diagnosis; it’s about actions.

We dive into why focusing on labels can shift the conversation away from what really matters: the harm caused and the patterns of control, intimidation, and manipulation that define abuse. 

Join me as we uncover the truths about abuse, discuss why labels often fall short, and refocus our attention on moving forward.

Sources

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) – American Psychiatric Association (2013).

Link: https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596 

For more information and access to Hare’s checklist used extensively in forensic psychology to evaluate personality traits and behaviors associated with psychopathy, visit here: https://arc.psych.wisc.edu/self-report/psychopathy-checklist-revised-pclr/ and download the checklist. 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

E-Mail me! [email protected]

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us Fan Mail

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

This podcast discusses sensitive topics, including coercive control and the emotional impact of abuse.

In this introduction, I share why I believe it’s so important to learn how to verbalize the impact coercive control has. By sharing my truth, I hope to help others do the same. I’m claiming my narrative, and healing alongside you. By sharing my own story, I hope to show others that it’s not only possible to break the silence, but it’s also an essential step in the healing process.

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

E-Mail me! [email protected]

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!