Every Damn Thing

By Every Damn ThingComedy Society & Culture

Every Damn Thing episodes

April 08, 202137. Online Dating, Pee-Wee Herman, Public Humiliation
Phil, Jake & Jason form a fearsome foursome with first-time guest-host Natalie, and put some bells & whistles on the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking online dating, the fictional character Pee-Wee Herman, and everyone's favorite past-time public humiliation.

If you have something to add to the list, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).

SHOW NOTES:
We talk a bit about kids falling down wells, including Baby Jessica. Kids still fall down wells (as recently as last December) but it appears people don’t give a shit anymore.
We discuss peeing in sinks. So does Quora.
SCRUFF is Jason’s preferred app ;)
We discuss a number of online dating services, including Grindr, Growlr (not for bears “grrrrr!” but for bears “heeeeyyyyy!”), Tinder, Christian Mingle and Farmers Only.
“Grindr inches” refers to dudes claiming extra inches when advertising their dick size. Jason says it's likely because they’re measuring starts from the butthole to the tip.
Phil mentions a white supremacist dating site, and is probably talking about WASP Love ( here’s and article about it from the Sydney Morning Herald). Natalie mentions a dating service for people with food allergies, and must be talking about singleswithfoodallergies.com.
We couldn’t find dudes taking pics with dollhouse accessories to make their dongs look big, but we did find dollhouse sex toy accessories on eBay.
Some people consider catfishing an art of sorts.
Look at this nerd eating a McRib.
“If The South Woulda Won” by Hank Williams, Jr. is a bad song by a not-so-great guy. “Fax Me A Beer” is just plain goofy, which of course made it appropriate for use in a 90s Budwieser commercial.
We mention Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss Whedon is problematic but his shows and movies are great. Original Buffy Kristy Swanson is a Trump-er.
Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure was, in fact, Tim Burton’s first feature film. This means Phil was right. It also means Jake was wrong.
Movies featuring Paul Reubens that get brought up include Mystery Men, Blow and Batman Returns. Movies featuring Pee-Wee Herman that get brought up include Big Top Pee-Wee, Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday and Back to the Beach.
The live recording of The Pee-Wee Herman Show stage production, which aired on HBO, can be watched on YouTube.
We briefly discuss E.T. the Extra Terrestrial (most notably his finger).
We mention Cabazon (no, not Barbazon: School of Modeling!), which is located outside Barstow, California on the way to Palm Springs.
Here’s evidence of Pee-Wee and Elvira together. Icons. Elvira (aka Cassandra Peterson) was-- along with Reubens-- a member of the Groundlings. Cheech & Chong were not members, but many Groundlings-- including Reubens and Peterson-- were hired for Cheech & Chong's Next Movie.
Jason couldn’t remember the name of Joe Manganiello’s wife. It’s Sofia Vergara.
Here’s the Slate article about Pee-Wee’s queerness that Jake quotes.
Paul Reubens Day, presented by “Drunken Redheaded Sluts” and the Center for Sex & Culture, was a San Francisco pub crawl / walk full of Reubens-themed activities and featuring a mass of Pee-Wee Hermans.
The Alamo itself doesn’t have a basement, but the gift shop does (it was added in the 80’s).
We talk Overboard. Jeffrey Wiseman played the kid who talked like Pee-Wee for most of the movie.
In the episode, Jake forgets the name of the Florida congressman currently embroiled in a sex scandal. The turd’s name is Matt Gaetz.
This might be the video of Guy Fieri fighting with his hairdresser that Jason and Natalie talk about.
ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
home renovations * Zelda * tailgating * Country music * crows * cosplay * the sea * performance art * Phil Hartman * bindles *
1 hr 4 min
April 01, 202136. Enter the Dragon, Square Pizza, Smell
Phil & Jake add some toppings to the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking Enter the Dragon (starring Bruce Lee), square pizza, and the sense of smell.

If you have something to add to the list, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).

SHOW NOTES:
Jake reiterates that he’s seen The Explosion play live many, many times. The implication in our previous episode that he’s never seen them live is FAKE NEWS.
Time travel wouldn't work. We can finally accept it. It's just not real. Teleportation also couldn't work. It's just not feasible, sorry. We might change our mind on both of these by next episode.
The Fly remake by David Cronenberg (the one with Jeff Goldblum) is somehow totally forgotten but it's about a teleportation accident.
This episode, we introduce Jake’s favorite new segment: “Format Chat”. The "Oops! All Format Chat" spin-off podcast is surely just around the corner.
Drunken Master 2 is beyond remarkable.
The Kentucky Fried Movie doesn’t age very well.
Phil refers to the 1989 movie Best of the Best and it’s sequel. Looking back on it, Best of the Best 2 should have been called Best of the Beasts.
We compare Enter the Dragon to spy movies. Danger Diabolik seems to be on youtube now.
Jake references The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, but gets the name wrong.
Phil’s right; Game of Death is the one where Bruce Lee wears the yellow tracksuit.
Jake’s wrong; The guy who plays Bolo in Enter the Dragon is not the guy who plays Thunder in Big Trouble in Little China. They’re both pretty buff, though.
Jackie Chan was in fact an extra in Enter the Dragon and has a good story about it. Sammo Hung was also in it.
Yuen Woo-Ping's work gets discussed thoroughly here.
Die Hard 2 was directed by Renny Harlin. Phil couldn't follow it.
We briefly mention Dr. Doom, a Marvel villain created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. He's an evil king, mad scientist & wizard who wears a metal mask and a green tunic. Maybe he's the best Marvel villain.
John Wayne plays Genghis Khan in The Conqueror.
Rizzos's Fine Pizza is in Astoria Queens. Here's a picture of a square slice. Golden Boy pizza in San Francisco is also square.
In the episode, Jake claims that square pizza is Sicilian style. He’s not wrong that Sicilian style is square, but there are other styles of square pizza (such as Detroit style).
Phil loves garlic bread. It's incredible stuff.
The word “slice” sounds wrong when applied to non-triangular pizza. Traditional pizza slice shape isn't a triangle. It's a sector. It's true, Phil looked it up but can’t back the claim up with a link.
Proust is pronounced “proost”.
We discuss aromatherapy, including the soothing scent concocted by Jake’s sister-in-law.
Phil searched "what does Shakira smell like?" and he found out "The singer has a strong sense of smell. She actually affirms that she can recognize people better by their smell rather than by their face or their name."
ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
the U.S. Library of Congress * Once Upon A Time in China * Jim Kelly * Breakfast at Tiffany’s * Trading Places * The Truman Show * Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey * Popeye * The Last Dragon * “Dancing Queen” by ABBA * jorts * crust * Popeyes chicken * gluten-free pizza * rye bread * It’s-It * Star Wars * smoking cigarettes * craft beer * farts * onions * The Three Stooges * Rod Lavers
Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here):

TOP TEN:
1. Dolly Parton - person
2. interspecies animal friends - idea
3. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
4. Prince - person
5. It’s-It - food
6. Cher - person
7. Donald Duck - fictional character
8. Hank Williams - person
9. air - substance
10. Watchmen - comic book

BOTTOM TEN:

116. Double Stuf Oreos - food
117. Lincoln Logs - toy
118. Jenny McCarthy - person
119. Jon Voight - person
120. Hank Williams, Jr - person
121. McRib - food
122. war - idea
123. cigarettes - drug
124. QAnon - idea
125. transphobia - idea

Theme song by Jade Puget. Audio mastering by Luke Janela. Graphic design by Jason Mann.
Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter and Instagram.
Email us at [email protected]...
48 min
March 25, 202135. Lincoln Logs, Interspecies Animal Friends (w/ Space Cadet)
Phil & Jake are joined by Dave Walsh & Matt Hock of Space Cadet to talk about their debut album Lion On A Leash (available on Wiretap Records), and of course to continue the ongoing construction of the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking Lincoln Logs and interspecies animal friendships.
Find Space Cadet on Instagram (@space_cadet_band). And RUN, don't walk, to the weblink at the end of this sentence to get the limited-release vinyl of Lion On A Leash.

If you have something to add to the list, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).
SHOW NOTES:
Lion On A Leash was produced by Pete Steinkopf (Bouncing Souls). Along with Dave & Matt, it also features the talents of Mike Sneeringer, Matt Olsson, Chris Gonzalez, Scott Engel, and Brian Baker from Minor Threat / Bad Religion.
Jake was trying to say “honorific” when referring to Matt’s “Million Dollar” title.
Space Cadet currently has three great music videos (all directed by Joanna Bovay): “Forever For A While”, “Bad Luck” and “Start Running Away”.
We talk some about Dave & Matt’s other band, The Explosion. When Jake says he was finally going to be able to see them live, he means “see them live again” (the band had a long hiatus). They played a New York City show in early 2020 with Dave Hause, and were going to do some West Coast dates, but then COVID.
Hause, as many of our listeners will know, was in the incredible band The Loved Ones with Dave Walsh.
Here’s the video for The Explosion’s “Here I Am” featuring the legendary Smith Puget.
Martin Shkreli’s Wu-Tang album can be played at listening parties but can't be commercially exploited until 2103.
Jake thought it was new, but the National Geographic show Unlikely Animal Friends has been running for almost a decade.
“Animal Odd Couples” is an episode of PBS’s Nature. You can meet all their featured interspecies buddies here.
We didn't get into it but dog / dog is a good friend combo. Youtube feeds those to Phil because of his history. Check it out.
Howard the Duck was fully discussed last episode but it's closer to a friendship than having a pet or being a Beastmaster is.
E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial came up. Have you seen it as an adult? Phil realizes now it's about the parents' divorce and how it's impacted the kid. As a kid he didn't even notice the mom character existed!
The Fox and the Hound are actually both canines. Kurt Russell plays voice of the hound. The fox is played by Mickey Rooney, which is weird because he was thirty years older than Russell. It’s probably reasonable to think of it as being about class and race, since they can talk and aren't really like real animals in that sense. Having not seen it lately (but read the plot summary), it seems like it could be a defense of segregation, or maybe a rallying cry for working-class solidarity. As of this writing, the jury is out.
The Beastmaster came up, but he's actually a bad example because he's a master of the animals and not a friend. If he was called The Beastfriend he'd belong in that conversation.
Phil thinks pets are not exactly friends. He thinks it'd be like him calling his son his friend.
Jake tried to figure out what bird makes the knocking sound he was talking about, but failed. It might be crows (they do make a clicking sound).
Air Bud does, in fact, wear a little sneaker on each of his four feet.
Hey, Julia Roberts (if you’re reading this): We absolutely loved you in Notting Hill. It’s a real tour de force or whatever.
Ducks are funny, Phil likes the sound they make when they're not quacking but just idling. We just learned today that male ducks don't quack.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Weekend at Bernie’s * Journey * Aerosmith * Metallica * It’s-It * Andy Granelli (The Distillers / Seized Up) * “Tiger by the Tail” by Buck Owens * the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo * John Lloyd Wright *
45 min
March 19, 202134. Howard the Duck (w/ Tiffa from Intermission)
Phil and Jake are joined by friend-of-the-pod and fellow 'caster Tiffa (from the great bad-movie podcast Intermission) to expand the cosmos of the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking the 1986 film flop Howard the Duck.
Keep up with Intermission on Instagram (@Intermission_podcast) and Twitter (@IntermissionPC), and subscribe to them wherever you get your podcasts.

If you have something to add to the list, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).
SHOW NOTES:
We talk a little bit about Delirious, Eddie Murphy’s first stand-up special. He says some pretty insensitive stuff in it but at least dresses real cool.
In this week’s Intellectual Property Legal Jamboree… Phil notes that Steve Gerber-- who created the Howard the Duck character for Marvel Comics-- might have owned the rights to the character. The full story is complicated, but the short of it is that Gerber sued Marvel to regain rights for the character (which he created under work-for-hire), and the lawsuit was eventually settled out of court with Marvel retaining full ownership. Gerber did, however, continue to have a lot of control over character, which was a big deal for comics writers at the time. He actively consulted on the Howard the Duck movie script, was on-set for some of the shooting, and apparently had a financial interest in the film (which probably didn’t amount to much since it was a box office bomb). Here’s a very, very detailed history of Steve Gerber and Howard the Duck.
IPLJ Bonus: In researching this subject, we learned that in most non-English countries the word “duck” is synonymous with Donald Duck. Seems kind of obvious that other languages would have a different word for the actual waterfowl, but we never really thought about it and were surprised to learn this.
Other than Back to the Future sequels, the post-HtD career of Lea Thompson is somewhat unremarkable, though she’s continued to get consistent work.
Ishtar was also synonymous with failure but unlike Howard the Duck it's stature has grown over the years.
There were already six Police Academy movies by the end of the 80s! Police Academy 6 is neither the one in Miami (as Phil guessed) nor the one in Russia (as Tiffa guessed). Also, the first Police Academy movie doesn’t take place in New York City (as Jake surmised), but rather in an unnamed American city.
The Arizona Cardinals logo was once a pleasant-looking bird perched on a football. It gradually became angrier and scowlier.
Don’t google “duck penises”.
According to IMDB’s fun Parents Guide for Sixteen Candles, it does have a nude shower scene but only shows breasts and butt (not “full bush” as Tiffa thought). It oddly got a PG rating (PG-13 hadn’t been instituted yet).
Phil mentioned PG swearing, radio edits of rap songs, and taboo avoidance in general. The Geto Boys for example did really good radio edits where instead of just taking the cursing out, they changed the lyrics so "dropping those motherfucking B's on him" was changed to "dropping those 5th Ward B's on him" which is a better line.
Wikipedia has a section about Jeffrey Jones’ criminal offenses. In short, he pleaded no contest in charges for soliciting a teenage boy to pose for nude photos, and is now a registered sex offender.
It’s easy to get the “Howard the Duck” song stuck in your head. If Howard is so surprised to end up in the performance, how come he’s so good with all the choreography? That scene, by the way, was shot at The Warfield in San Francisco.
Ed Gale, the main guy in the Howard the Duck costume, was also the main guy in the Chucky costume. And he was in Spaceballs.
Here’s an oral history of Trump’s love of Bloodsport. The original account of him fast-forwarding through all the non-fight scenes is from a 1997 New Yorker article, but that’s behind a paywall.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Coming 2 America * Wesley Snipes * Dolemite Is My Name * Nutty 2: The Klumps * smoking weed while watching movies * MaCaulay Culkin’s animatronic acting * Bruce Willis * Weird Science * Raiders of the Lost Ark * jizz-mopping * duck tits * the MPAA film rating system * evil punks * Yuppies and sushi in the 80s * The Breakfast Club * Ferris Bueller’s Day Off * Tim Robbins * Thomas Dolby * ducks * Petaluma, California * The California Academy of Sciences * Gambit of the X-Men * Poochie from the Simpsons * Tom & Jerry: The Movie * Some Kind of Wonderful * Marvel movies *
48 min
March 11, 202133. Bell Biv DeVoe, War, Jeggings, Transphobia, Hulk Hogan, Jorts, Animal Crackers, Bill Paxton, Skorts
In another lightning episode, Jason, Phil and Jake race through ranking 90s New Jack Swing sensation Bell Biv DeVoe, war, jeggings, transphobia, Hulk Hogan, jorts, animal cracker snacks, Bill Paxton and skorts to expand the List of Every Damn Thing.

If you have something to add to the list, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).
SHOW NOTES:
During our discussion, none of us could remember when Sonny Bono died, and were too distracted to google it. In case you're wondering, he died on on January 5, 1998.
BBD songs discussed include “Poison” and “Do Me”.
We forget the full name of Ralph Tresvant, the fifth New Edition member, while talking about the group.
Michael Bivins of BBD also produced and / or managed Another Bad Creation and Boyz II Men. Plus Sudden Impact; all that we ever knew about them was from the “MotownPhilly” video. A guy from Sudden Impact said that he was in two other groups called Too Special and Wyte Gize.
Teddy Riley was the producer of “My Prerogative”. Bobby Brown talks to him during the song.
The bounty hunter with bandages from The Empire Strikes Back is named Dengar.
Did Brooke Hogan date Paul Wall? No. She recorded a song with him though!

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
not.com.mercial by Cher * Bobby Brown * Ice Cube * Run the Jewels * Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis * QAnon * McRib * Crocs * A-shirts * J.K. Rowling * Hollywood Hogan * daisy dukes * Corona Cowboy * Shakira * Frailty (movie) * Jessica Rabbit
Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the most up-to-date list, go here):
Dolly Parton - person
Clement Street in San Francisco - location
Prince - person
It’s-It - food
Cher - person
Donald Duck - fictional character
Hank Williams - person
air - substance
Watchmen - comic book
onions - food
“Midnight Train to Georgia” - music
sex - idea
Rod Lavers shoes - clothing
Star Wars - media franchise
Boxer (dog breed) - animal
ducks - animal
Bill Paxton - person
firefighters - people
Shakira - person
The Three Stooges - comedy act
Christmas trees - seasonal decoration
puns - idea
Trading Places - movie
intro to “Back That Azz Up” - music
The Truman Show - movie
dilapidated shacks - structures
shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts & furry cha-cha heels - idea
plants - life form
handkerchiefs - accessory
nail clippers - tool
rye bread - food
snare drums - instrument
saxophone in rock - music
cubed ice - substance
Antoni Gaudi - architect
Run the Jewels - music group
Popeye - fictional character
land - substance
Carthage - location
Charmander - fictional character
Popeyes chicken - food
wool - material
A-shirts (aka “wifebeaters”) - clothing
jorts - clothing
“Dancing Queen” - music
jeggings - clothing
Watchmen - TV series
Jessica Rabbit - fictional character
skorts - clothing
Volkswagen “Bug” - vehicle
Sorry! - game
animal crackers - food
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey - movie
Cheech and Chong - comedy act
“Tulsa Time” - music
sriracha - food
brief - idea
cold brew shandy - beverage
Jersey Shore - location
crows - animal
sea - substance
coffee - beverage
video games - medium
Bell Biv DeVoe - music group
eggs (chicken) - food
Whoppers (candy) - food
national debt - idea
band t-shirts - clothing
Crocs - clothing
Ice Cube - person
wind chimes - decoration / instrument
moist - word
Nerf guns - toy
lightning rounds - idea
zipper jeans - clothing
generation ships - idea
seedless watermelon - food
sardines - animal/food
Triscuits - food
peanut butter ice cream - food
Top Ramen - food
whale tail - animal appendage
Tommy Bahama shirts - clothing
Trouble - game
commandos - people
no-show socks - clothing
zipper jeans worn with no underwear - situation
Monopoly - game
Barry Bonds - person
man-bun - hairstyle
toe shoes - clothing
“Do You Know the Way to San Jose” - song
Watchmen - movie
blood - substance
Oreos - food
calamari - food
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - movie
Steve Jobs - person
Bill & Ted Face the Music - movie
Hulk Hogan - person
...
33 min
March 05, 202132. Steve Jobs, Wool, Rod Lavers
Phil and Jake insert a few new lines of code into of the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking Apple founder Steve Jobs, the fabric wool and the Rod Laver shoe by Adidas.

If you have something to add to the list, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).
SHOW NOTES:
The documentary Jake watched is Steve Jobs: The Man in the Machine. It's pretty good.
Here’s the New York Times obituary for Jef Raskin the “Father of the Macintosh” (he died in 2005).
When demonstrating his vast knowledge of the cotton gin, Jake forgets that the main function of it was to separate the seeds from the fibers. Here’s an ancient educational film that shows how the machine worked (and plays pleasant music while depicting backbreaking plantation labor).
We talk about planned obsolescence (as seen in Apple products), though we never call it that.
We mention that Apple contracts with Chinese companies that have poor working conditions. We don’t say it by name, but the company we’re mainly referring to is Foxconn.
Much has been written about Stan Lee & Jack Kirby's partnership, by people who know a lot more than we do. One such person is Abraham Reisman, who just wrote a biography of Lee that deals with it.
Here’s some pics of Jobs’ car parked in disabled-only spaces.
The cashmere worn by Phil was probably mushy to the touch.
When Phil says in the episode that he likes moths, he's thinking of the little ones in North America. But he later found this pic of an Australian moth and reconsidered.
Rod Laver was one of the first modern athletes (along with René Lacoste & Fred Perry) to have a clothing deal.
The Australian Open is one of the major tennis tournaments along with Wimbledon, the US Open & the French Open. Naomi Osaka is the current champion of the Australian open. The French Open is really called the Roland-Garros tournament: it's named after a WW1 fighter ace.
Spider-Man villain Kraven the Hunter is kind of based on the villain in The Most Dangerous Game.
Alex R. Thomas & Co. was a pear-packing company where Phil and Jake (and many other people in our hometown) had summer jobs. The business closed about ten years ago.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
salads * Oops! All Berries * Apple Inc. * NeXT * personal computing * Mac vs. PC * iOS vs. Android * iTunes * QWERTY keyboards * tax avoidance * Bob Dylan * Woz * Breakout (video game) * philanthropy * California Buddhists * Ice Cube * Barry Bonds * Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure * Bill & Ted Face the Music * the "Little Bo Peep" look * sheep * synthetic fabrics * eggs * super-submitters * Phil’s creaky chair * Rod Laver Arena * shoe collectors * toe shoes * Boxer dogs
Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the most up-to-date list, go here):
Dolly Parton - person
Clement Street in San Francisco - location
Prince - person
It’s-It - food
Cher - person
Donald Duck - fictional character
Hank Williams - person
air - substance
Watchmen - comic book
onions - food
“Midnight Train to Georgia” - music
sex - idea
Rod Lavers shoes - clothing
Star Wars - media franchise
Boxer (dog breed) - animal
ducks - animal
firefighters - people
Shakira - person
The Three Stooges - comedy act
Christmas trees - seasonal decoration
puns - idea
Trading Places - movie
intro to “Back That Azz Up” - music
The Truman Show - movie
dilapidated shacks - structures
shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts & furry cha-cha heels - idea
plants - life form
handkerchiefs - accessory
nail clippers - tool
rye bread - food
snare drums - instrument
saxophone in rock - music
cubed ice - substance
Antoni Gaudi - architect
Run the Jewels - music group
Popeye - fictional character
land - substance
Carthage - location
Charmander - fictional character
Popeyes chicken - food
wool - material
A-shirts (aka “wifebeaters”) - clothing
“Dancing Queen” - music
Watchmen - TV series
Jessica Rabbit - fictional character
Volkswagen “Bug” - vehicle
Sorry! - game
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey - movie
Cheech and Chong - comedy act
“Tulsa Time” - music
sriracha - food
brief - idea
cold brew shandy - beverage
Jersey Shore - location
crows - animal
sea - substance
coffee - beverage
video games - medium
eggs (chicken) - food
Whoppers (candy) - food
national debt - idea
band t-shirts - clothing
Crocs - clothing
Ice Cube - person
wind chimes - decoration / instrument
moist - word
Nerf gun...
51 min
February 26, 202131. Sorry!, Trouble, Monopoly, Video Games
Phil, Jake and Jason reign in the usual explicit language, drug references, and graphic violence to expand the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking Sorry!, Trouble, Monopoly, and the medium of video games. It's fun for the whole family!

If you have something to add to the List of Every Damn Thing, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).
SHOW NOTES:
Jason and Phil discuss finding “sidewalk treasures” in Jake’s neighborhood. Jake is not a fancy person, he just lives in a neighborhood where affluence abounds. San Francisco is the kind of city where billionaires and lowly pod-mongers might live on the same block.
Phil talks a bit in the episode about shame, which isn’t just reserved for people with Michael Kors quote fashion unquote.
Phil mentions that Sorry! is a variant of an ancient game, and is mostly-right when he refers to this game as Parcheesi. Both Parcheesi and Sorry! are Westernized versions of the ancient Indian game Pachisi; though Parcheesi seems like a straight-up knockoff, while Sorry! is like an adaptation.
We talk about cheating at games, which happens when someone thinks it’s more important to win than to have fun.
Here’s a blog post that talks about the moralism Phil finds so annoying in Chutes and Ladders. You can also find recipes for Cucumber Mint Water and Cranberry Bliss Cookies there.
“Primer” should rhyme with “rimmer” unless you’re talking about a base layer of paint (which Jake was not when he mispronounced it).
Jake couldn’t find anything about the “Sorry! Blast” game that Phil mentioned. Maybe he was referring to Sorry! Sliders or Sorry! Spin?
We talk again about Charmander, on whom of course Urban Dictionary has a take. Ask your parents before clicking that link.
Here’s the duck drinking a Sonic beverage that Jason mentions.
This isn't the kind of "craps" we talk about in the episode, but Jason found this and we decided to post it anyway. De nada.
In newer versions of Trouble there's a "warp" (visible in this picture) that lets you take a shortcut.
Ludo is a simplified version of Pachisi that went on to inspire Trouble, its UK kissin’ cousin Frustration!, and its Finnish frenchin’ friend Kimble.
Frustration! has an exclamation point in its name, which will probably give it a leg up over Trouble when it comes time to add it to the List of Everything.
This commercial for a Kimble variant provides a great depiction of the turnabout factor (aka “rags-to-riches effect”) that makes these games fun. In Kimble Twist does the whole inside of the board move? Also who’s in charge of tropical cocktails?
We talk a bit about The Landlord’s Game, created in 1906 by Elizabeth Magie, on which Monopoly is based. You can find some info on it and links to articles about it-- as well as a link to buy a replica version of the game-- at this sparsely designed site. Also, here’s a good episode of the Planet Money podcast that talks about The Landlord’s Game as well as Hasbro’s offshoot game Ms. Monopoly.
Here’s an article on the Mandela Effect. Like all good articles, it’s in Good Housekeeping. Or as the rest of us call it, “GH”.
Smoking cigars is bad just like this wiki about Baby Herman.
Tommy Bahamas shirts are not a sponsor of Every Damn Thing… yet.
Battletoads is known for being super-difficult, maybe the hardest game of the NES era. Also there's a lot of fan art of the dominatrix villain who has a longer entry in wikipedia than your hometown.
Phil is addicted to Military Madness to the point that he can't even look at a video of someone else playing it without spiraling into madness.
Master Blaster was a real highlight of the NES, maybe one of the last games for it.
Karnov is a fire-breathing Russian. He shows up as a villain in Bad Dudes also.
Here’s the article about Mario Kart & capitalism that Jason mentions.
Capital Gains Tax is the tax you pay for the money you make from investing. It's capped at a lower maximum so if you work for a living you pay more in taxes than someone who just receives checks.
You can depend on Youtube to have videos of people playing video games. Here’s Cannon Fodder, one of the games we mention.
Jason is a (recovering?) South Park Phone Destroyer addict. Once you pop, you can’t stop. You’ve been warned.
Jake usually fought as drunken master Shun Di when he played Virtua Fighter 2 at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.
Untitled Goose Game is about a goose just walking around being awful.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
garbage trucks * Canadians * Sorry! Not Sorry! (board game) * Candy Land *
49 min
February 19, 202130. Sriracha, Popeyes Chicken, Jon Voight
Phil and Jake add some spice to the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking sriracha hot sauce, chicken from Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, and outspoken actor Jon Voight.

If you have something to add to the List of Every Damn Thing, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).
SHOW NOTES:
Phil is a bona fide hot sauce guy. He has takes on Crystal, Tapatio, Cholula, Valentina, Tabasco and more.
When people say “sriracha” they usually mean the “rooster sauce” made by Huy Fong Foods. For our purposes we’re ranking sriracha sauce as a general category, which includes-- but isn't restricted to-- Hoy Fong’s version.
The guy who accidentally washed his hair dog shampoo is (clown emoji) Jonathan Kay.
Phil found meow Atun Miau Tuna online! Looking at it now, it's clearly made for a human (but presumably strong enough for a cat).
Here’s an unhealthy recipe that you can make with Trader Joe’s Unexpected Cheddar.
This article about Huy Fong’s founder David Tran gives some info on the company's legal battle with the city of Irwindale, California (as well as some other lawsuits they were involved in).
The subject of rye bread comes up again. Here's a pic of buttered rye toast that Phil found and saved to his private stash of photos.
We discuss a number of Popeyes menu items past and present, including the new Cajun Flounder Sandwich (reviewed here by Daym Drops), the Delta Mini and the Loaded Chicken Wrap.
Phi mentions the “Chicken Council Guidelines”. It's actually called the Better Chicken Commitment, which seems like some corporate whitewashing when you scrutinize it a little bit. At the end of the day the chickens are butchered and eaten.
Carthaginians gave us the Phoenician alphabet! We maybe underrated them.
We talk about a lot of movies that feature Jon Voight, including Midnight Cowboy, Catch-22, Deliverance, Coming Home, Heat, Anaconda, National Treasure and Pearl Harbor.
Here’s Randy Quaid in Paper Moon. He wants to rassle for a car.
Jake mentions that Bill Murray plays FDR, but he doesn’t say that the movie is Hyde Park on Hudson.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
the Beef Jerky Steering Wheel™ * Guittard Chocolate * onions * cold brew shandy * "Tulsa Time" by Don Williams * copyright law * Charmander * Robert Redford * Christopher Walken * Nic Cage * Angelina Jolie * James Woods * Antoni Gaudi * Jaws * Hank Williams, Jr. * Jenny McCarthy

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the most up-to-date list, go here):
Dolly Parton - person
Clement Street in San Francisco - location
Prince - person
It’s-It - food
Cher - person
Donald Duck - fictional character
Hank Williams - person
air - substance
Watchmen - comic book
onions - food
“Midnight Train to Georgia” - music
sex - idea
Star Wars - media franchise
Boxer (dog breed) - animal
ducks - animal
firefighters - people
Shakira - person
The Three Stooges - comedy act
Christmas trees - seasonal decoration
puns - idea
Trading Places - movie
intro to “Back That Azz Up” - music
The Truman Show - movie
dilapidated shacks - structures
shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts & furry cha-cha heels - idea
plants - life form
handkerchiefs - accessory
nail clippers - tool
rye bread - food
snare drums - instrument
saxophone in rock - music
cubed ice - substance
Antoni Gaudi - architect
Run the Jewels - music group
Popeye - fictional character
land - substance
Carthage - location
Charmander - fictional character
Popeyes chicken - food
A-shirts (aka “wifebeaters”) - clothing
“Dancing Queen” - music
Watchmen - TV series
Jessica Rabbit - fictional character
Volkswagen “Bug” - vehicle
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey - movie
Cheech and Chong - comedy act
“Tulsa Time” - music
sriracha - food
brief - idea
cold brew shandy - beverage
Jersey Shore - location
crows - animal
sea - substance
coffee - beverage
eggs (chicken) - food
Whoppers (candy) - food
national debt - idea
band t-shirts - clothing
41 min
February 13, 202129. Star Wars
EPISODE XXIX: THE HUNDREDTH ITEM
Phil, Jake and Jason conclude the saga of the first 100 items on the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking something that a group of dudes has never talked about in a podcast before... a little phenomenon called Star Wars.

If you have something to add to the List of Every Damn Thing, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).
SHOW NOTES:
Here's what Jason's Cherizona sign looks like. She released a song In support of Joe Biden called “Happiness is Just a Thing Called Joe”.
The documentary about Britney that Phil and Jason talk about is the "Framing Britney Spears" episode of the Hulu series The New York Times Presents.
Phil looked up the etymology of the pistachio and it's root word pistak is one of the oldest words still in use! It just means pistachio it doesn't mean "hidden nut" or anything.
Black History Moth is a new character caused by typos. Also this.
Here's the Dolly Parton Superbowl ad where she promotes the twelve-hour workday, and here's the article about Dollywood that Phil mentions.
What has Space Mountain been up to? It’s Hyperspace Mountain now and has an X-wing on the entrance sign.
Chewbacca's wife is named Malla (short for Mallatobuck), not Paula.
The “Do you like fried chicken?” scene is probably the best part of Kramer vs. Kramer.
Sorcerer is a remake of Wages of Fear, and came out the same week as Star Wars. It has the best theme ever. Wages of Fear get a big homage in The Mandalorian and in an old GI Joe cartoon. Anytime you see volatile substances being carried on trucks, that's Wages of Fear.
Here’s Bruce Vilanch talking about the Star Wars Holiday Special. We suggest having an extra pair of panties handy.
After further considerations, Phil thinks John Williams played piano on Peter Gunn theme, not sax.
“Going the Distance” is probably the best piece of music in Rocky.
Here's Jason’s favorite scene in The Burbs, next to this one which almost ties with this one.
The composer who wrote songs about planets (and inspired John Williams) is Gustav Holst.
2001: A Space Odyssey made it popular to mix classical music with outer space. Before that people were using Theremins.
First Cow is a boring movie that Jake recommends.
Here’s a screen test supporting the claim that Tom Selleck was in the running to play Indiana Jones.
Jason has a habit of combining all good things into one, which was the case in describing Caravan of Courage and The Battle for Endor (aka The Ewoks Great Adventure). This may have been the mainstream debut of Furries.
That bucktoothed scamp Teek is like the Ewok country cousin.
Spoiler Alert! Here's the end of The Apple.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Free Britney founder Chris Crocker * Jar Jar Binks aka Darth Jar Jar * Wicket * Bea Arthur * Star Wars fatigue * The Mandalorian *Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope * The Empire Strikes Back * George Lucas * sound design in film * Warwick Davis * Kenny Baker * Yoda * Cookie Monster * Miss Piggy * Frank Oz * Salacious B. Crumb * Return of the Jedi * Solo * Genndy Tartakovsky * Star Wars: The Clone Wars * Star Wars musical score * movie theme music * Leia’s hairstyle * Nelly Furtado * Han Solo * Harrison Ford * What Lies Beneath * Kurt Russell * Jack Burton * Snake Plissken * The Force Awakens * The Last Jedi * The Rise of Skywalker * the Millennium Falcon * Luke drinking milk in The Last Jedi * Star Wars arcade games * action figures * Wilford Brimley * Rogue One * Scarface (movie) * Harvey Korman * Life Day * Can’t Stop the Music * Trading Places * Shakira

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the most up-to-date list, go here):
Dolly Parton - person
Clement Street in San Francisco - location
Prince - person
It’s-It - food
Cher - person
Donald Duck - fictional character
Hank Williams - person
air - substance
Watchmen - comic book<...
46 min
February 04, 202128. Excellent Adventure, Bogus Journey, Face the Music
Phil, Jake and Jason continue their most triumphant endeavor to complete the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking all three Bill & Ted movies... their Excellent Adventure, their Bogus Journey, and the time that had to Face the Music.
Like all our episodes (except the family-friendly ones), this episode contains adult language. So if you're the parental type, consider this your advisory.

If you have something to add to the List of Every Damn Thing, let us know by sending an email to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).

SHOW NOTES:
Maybe don’t google “queef gleek” if you don’t want to come across some things you’d rather not come across.
River’s Edge (aka “the darkest teen film of all time”) came out in 1986, three years before the first Bill & Ted movie. Parenthood came out later than Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, but still in the same year.
We discuss the use of homophobic slurs in 80s pop culture, and settle on the idea that they’re “teachable moments”.
Here’s the scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High where Jeff Spicoli talks about history, a precursor to Bill & Ted’s conversational style. Spicoli, for the record, is not innocent of using of homophobic slurs.
Chino, California is 30 square miles filled with 88,000 people. Cows once outnumbered the people there, and Snoop Dogg was once in prison there (probably not at the same time).
Wikipedia describes the Inland Empire as Los Angeles-adjacent. Chino-- more so Chino Hills-- would like to convince you that they're Orange County-adjacent.
Jason was pleasantly surprised that “punk” wasn’t the first thing that showed up when searching “poseurs”.
We briefly talked about Damon Runyon. Phil said that Bill & Ted's vocabulary is Runyonesque, but on further reflection he probably was wrong. Here's some discussion of Runyon, a colorful figure.
Phil mentioned seeing George Carlin's act from before he grew his beard.
All-time henchman Al Leong is featured in a lot of our favorite action movies, including as a Wing Kong Hatchet Man in Big Trouble in Little China.
Here’s a video of the present-day comedic surfer bros that Jake mentions.
Here's a blurry Pee Wee Herman in Back to the Beach (1987). Bird is, in fact, the word.
Here’s Jason’s favorite part of Bogus Journey, and here’s Jake's favorite part.
We briefly discuss Jar Jar Binks, who famously said “Dis es nutsen!”
Kim Cattrall ain't got time for a SatC reboot since she’s got a new (already cancelled) show called Filthy Rich.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde is, according to Jason, a cinematic masterpiece. Legally Blonde 3 drops in May of 2022.
Jake gets the name of the KISS song “God Gave Rock ‘n’ Roll to You II” wrong. He’s also wrong that it’s an original song.
Speaking of KISS, the kiss scene from Dude, Where’s My Car? is less offensive than the hateful words in the Bill & Ted movies, but there’s still some problematic aspects to it.
We surmise that battles of the bands are a thing of the past. Finally the bands are at peace with one another!
Kettle Chips were founded in 1978 by Cameron Healy.
There’s a lot of reference to the concept of “Oops! All…” in this episode. This is something we'll address in a later show but it's one of the fundamental ideas to understanding the world.
What was Alex Winters up to between Bogus Journey and Face the Music? Among other things, he co-directed the 90s movie Freaked (Phil mistakenly calls it Freaks), and most recently directed a documentary about Frank Zappa.
The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions both came out in 2003.
We talked about Samara Weaving but we meant to say Brigette Lundy Pain. They were both great in Face the Music.
Phil doesn’t see how the Weezer song The Beginning of the End is an interpolation of a Billy Joel song.
Is Love and Monsters worth watching?
Our TV recommendation for this week is HBO’s Barry. It features Anthony Carrigan, who is also hilarious in Face the Music.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula * Interview with the Vampire (movie) * time travel * parenting * toxic masculinity * San Dimas, California * Trading Places * The Last Starfighter * “Station” *
55 min

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