What is love? You are contractually obligated to have that song stuck in your head now, you're welcome (don't hurt me). We try to figure out the deal with dating, like why to do it and is it good?

Also, we uphold our longstanding tradition of googling pop culture facts while we should be podding, pretend that we know enough about drugs to make jokes about them, and revel in being a douchebag's One True Fear.

Six is the sex number! Rhodes’ friend, you are right! Thanks for listening! This week, we share stories of our growing up that, in hindsight, are blaring neon signs of ‘You Are Asexual, Dude!’

Also, we discover the most Thunderdome-level stress-packed X-Treme teen way to teach your son to drive, razz a movie we haven’t seen like the thoughtful, upstanding critics we are, and get science-y on y’all with boner stats and jello physics.

Rhodes and Marina are pancakes, anyway. Chances are, if you are listening to this, you are too, but maybe you are a water droplet. I don’t know your life. In this episode, we explore the purest form of human connection - ranting in mutual agreement that someone else’s opinion is wrong, like a relay race of supportive shouting.

Also, we conduct not one but two deep dives in 2000s era television, congratulate Rhodes on his good math joke, and revel in the concept of genetically modified sexy door ladies.

Sexuality. It's a little more fun than death. Frankly, this one comes out as a bit of a bummer as we talk about labels and fitting (or not fitting) into the LBGT community. We get real about some of the difficulties of being ace.

Also, we practice our communicitation skills, make some totally audible hand-gesture based jokes, and continue to be unrelentingly asexual by assuming that everyone agrees that having less people wanting to sex you is a good thing.

This episode is bad to listen to with your ears. There's no getting around that one. There is thirsty groaning, painful singing, and basically no content that is relevant to the premise of this podcast. It is devilishly hard to quantify.

Also, we draw up some vomit schedules, never learn what it means to have lizard eyes, and spend like 20 minutes discussing the hottest current issue - Blockbuster video.

You want to hear us patter on endlessly about ice cream because Rhodes doesn't understand metaphors? Probably you don't. So the good news is that we only do that for a solid 8 minutes.

Also, we reminisce about awkward middle school plays, kind of just body-shame the concept of bodies in general, and struggle to pronounce heteronormativity.

You might want to laugh at this at some point in the future. It's a comedy podcast about asexuality! Oooooooooooooooh!! We aren't the ideal hosts to talk about sex and relationships, because, well, mostly we don't get it.