Attention seekers fear being isolated and rejected. 
They need to know and feel accepted but yet redirect their misbehaviours. 
We should not dismiss the attention seeker but instead firmly direct and affirm them. 

Agitators have a need for exerting power behind the scenes. 
They need assurance and fear rejection. 
We can help youths by reassuring them of our acceptance and yet need to provide boundaries. 

The four steps are:
1. Identify the behaviour
2. Understand the effect of the behaviour
3. Identify the cause of the behaviour
4. Avoid common mistakes 
Having a systematic way to handle misbehaviours is a helpful process. 

Some children and youths believe that if they don't try, they won't fail. 
They give up because they don't want to be hurt more. 
We need to encourage those feeling a sense of despair with assurance that they can still succeed, step by step. 

Hurt youths hurt others. 
Sometimes they are mean to others in order to feel they matter. 
Hurt children and youths need to be soothed and reassured that they are being heard. 

The need for power and autonomy is a basic one. 
Youths need to feel that they matter and that what they do matters too. 
Concerned and caring adults must empower children and youths through appropriate avenues. 

Attention-seeking behaviour is a common drive. 
Sometimes youths lacking in attention act up or act out in order to get it. 
Providing appropriate attention to children and youths can reassure them they are ok. 

Most humans seek belonging and hence social behaviour is often purposeful. 
Misbehaviour then results from a mistaken assumption of fulfiling that need. 
Basic drives are for attention, power, revenge and a sense of helplessness. 
We must look beyond the external behaviours and into hidden causes in order to redirect misbehaviours. 

Our calmness helps soothe ruffled feelings in youths. 
We need to practice self-care first before we can tend to others with calmness.  
Our calmness helps to diffuse and defuse youth misbehaviours. 

It starts with me but it is not about me. 
Don't take it personally because many times misbehaviours exhibited by youths are not directed as us per se, although it may seem so. 
We have to question ourselves why we want to handle such misbehaviours too. 
An awareness of our own strengths, needs, and motives is the starting point for handling youth misbehaviours.