All you really need to know headed into this episode is that we really, really, REALLY don't like the term "deflowered."

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It's a tired and giggly episode of EHR! We're talking about how Lan gives terrible advice, how Hurin should be spending time on his post-grad, and how Uno deserves true love, probably with someone brave and manly. And hilarious. And -- okay, it's Gaul. We've already planned the wedding.

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This week we're talking about a very important chapter: the one where the Chosen One finds out he's been Chosen. For once, we feel very bad for Rand. We discuss the narrative, symbolic, mythic, psychological, cosmic significance of this moment. And, of course, we argue that it would be even better if Perrin dabbled in pagan witchcraft.

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This episode, in which we primarily discuss dark prophecies, question Padan Fain's reasoning, and collectively gag over The Great Hunt's weird penchant for graphic violence, we introduce two new characters to our Updated, Revised, and All-Around Better Version of WoT: Larry the Good Trolloc and Ilyeno.

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In which Rand would totally be a Soul Cycle cult leader, Elaida is Donald Trump, Moiraine's ego is an unstoppable force, Robert Jordan uses RateMyAesSedai dot com, and we humbly suggest that you Do Not Do A War Crime.

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We're joined by professional costumer and Yu-Gi-Oh! enthusiast Sarah McClintock to talk about clothes, fantasy, and denim on denim. She helps answer questions like: Why is Robert Jordan obsessed with butts and breeches? Why is the boob situation in Tel'aran'rhiod so important? What happens when you dress a farm boy like a fancy lord and give him responsibility?

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Please excuse the background hum of AC in this week's episode -- it's 95 degrees in Utah! And a balmy 70 in Fal Dara when the Amyrlin Seat arrives. We talk about Tigger: Rap God, Alien v. Sexual Predator, a Flannel of Lesbians, and get this: we finally consult the pronunciation guide.

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Hey, hey, we're kicking off season two -- and The Great Hunt -- with a ten-minute intro about our homelessness and other misfortunes. Then we talk about Acne and Assholery, Drunk Uncles and Fish Metaphors, and new game show Are You Taller Than a Cello?

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With Sally out of town, this week Emily is joined by guest co-host Cambria Hobbs, our Wheel of Time progenitor and resident astrology expert. We tackle topics like Rand's so-called sex appeal, Gawyn's Gemini-ness, and Robert Jordan's whole anti-birthday thing.

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